Will I be able to have a kinky sex life after NoFap

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by 72jbjekapm, Jul 27, 2020.

  1. 72jbjekapm

    72jbjekapm Fapstronaut

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    I'm so close to 90 days and I don't want to have just a boring vanilla sex life. Yes me and wife have enjoyed some fun stuff, should that be able to continue?
     
  2. Jazir

    Jazir Fapstronaut

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    Dude, i think the problem is, some people here mix up the whole anti-porn argumentation, which is verified by empirical data, with pure moralisation. The history of moral is very complicated: some theologians and philosophers doubt if morals did more good than bad to humans anyways (which is a very deep rabbit hole). If you want to moralize your thinking about sexual practices, thats fine, go ahead. But i would recommend that you stop doing so, unless it is ruining your mental (see porn use) or physical health (this may apply to some practices including pain where you can really hurt yourself or others).
    Some dudes here mix that shit up, due to their simplified beliefs (sorry my fundamentalist brothers, i respect you deeply, but i still allow myself to criticise other peoples beliefs). Its often (but not every time!!!) religious people, who are led by their churches, which do simplify a lot of moral questions, or questions about sexuality. Most of those churches do not follow the very complex analysis of modern day theologians, who are very deep thinkers and know about moral dilemmas, and know about the problem the human being has with morals. (f.e. see the bible: Ecclesiastes 7:16: "Be not overly righteous, and do not make yourself too wise. Why should you destroy yourself?") So you see, even the religions SHOULD know or COULD know by their studies, that moral laws are a problem for humans, cause they can never live up fully to the ideal. Okay i got lost in that one.

    I aint very firm in alternative sexual practices, i guess i am more that vanilla kidn of guy there. But i do not see why you shouldnt be able to dress like a pony and get ridden by your tiger-girlfriend, if that pleases you for a number of reasons that i do not want to know. Human sexuality is very strange at times, we do not fully understand it. So why not do things that you like, IF IT DOESNT HURT ANYONE and it is CONJOINT, MUTUAL CONSENT? Give me a reason apart from someones church says "you shouldnt penetrate your neighbour from behind" or sth like that (sorry brothers in christ, i had to go for that one). Its no ones business what you do in your bedroom anyways.

    As i understand this forum, it started out as a solution and encouragement for a non-porn-lifestyle. The critique of porn-consumption is supported by the empirical data, by science.
    Some people use their religion in their spiritual fight against porn. Thats fine. Additionally, they may reject some other stuff that doesnt fit into their lifestyle for their own reasons: i dont understand it, but i dont need to, they are free human beings. Some people mix a lot of moral pressure into this, cause they think it is helpful. I think it is not. But i respect them in their faith and worldview and i even encourage them in their journey. If you want to finish your journey with Allah, i am rooting for you! Others need scientific data to encourage them on their journey, some read a psalm of david or a saying by an indian guru. Its confusing at times, but i also find it quite fascinating!
    A personal advice here: if you ask on a forum like this, you invite christians, atheists, muslims, queer people, maybe even nazis, and marxists, etc. to judge your personal sex life. Everything could come out of this, so you might have to filter. You might also reject what i said if it is not doing you any good.

    Fapstronaus from all faiths and beliefs, i am sending my apologies if i did hurt you with this post! I am not really here to discuss worldviews, as my life experience has taught me, that most of those are very tiring. I wish you all the best, according to your faith!
     
    72jbjekapm and Da Khalo like this.
  3. 72jbjekapm

    72jbjekapm Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, great write up, I agree with most, if not all of what you said.
     
    Jazir likes this.

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