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would a chastity device help me?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Shy_1990, Jul 2, 2019.

  1. Jul 2, 2019 #1
    Shy_1990

    Shy_1990 Fapstronaut

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    I everyone. Ive been struggling with pmo for a while now. It has taken me to some weird places on the internet and even spilled out into real life and tempted me into chatting to women online and fooling around a bit. My girlfriend has found out and our relationship is in serious trouble.

    Im looking for ways I can be proactive about getting on top of my problems and trying to make things right. For some background info I will involve myself in pmo anywhere from 2-6 times/day and have some triggers that can set it off really bad. For example, attractive women in yoga pants at gym can have me in the toilet trying to get off.

    Anyway, one thought I've had is to put myself in a chastity device during the day when I am out of the house at work. What I am going to propose to my partner is that its not a sexual bdsm thing. The key to the chastity device would be mine to look after but it would have to stay in open sight somewhere in our home, like hanging on a hook or something so that she knows I don't have the key with me. I would only wear it when I was going out during the day and at night I would take it off so that it didn't become a bdsm thing between my girlfriend and I but at least she would know that during the day I can't really do anything with my genitals.

    Do you think an arrangement like this would be something that could help her feel better about what I'm doing during the day and also help me overcome those spare of the moment urges?
     
    Shy_1990, Jul 2, 2019
    Shy_1990, Jul 2, 2019
    #1
  2. Jul 2, 2019 #2
    hope4healing

    hope4healing NoFap Moderator
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    No, I think it would only give her a false sense of security. Even if you're unable to M due to some device, that doesn't stop you from feeding the addiction. You can still get the dopamine hit with P and online chatting or whatever, and then you're basically edging all day...which is just as bad or worse. There are no devices or quick fixes. You have to truly want recovery, and you have to be willing to do the hard work it takes to get there. It takes a plan and commitment and time, and consistent honesty is essential for gaining back her trust. I'm sorry, but there's really no other way.
     
    hope4healing, Jul 2, 2019
    hope4healing, Jul 2, 2019
    #2
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  3. Jul 2, 2019 #3
    hope4healing

    hope4healing NoFap Moderator
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    I should also add...you have to learn healthy ways to deal with the urges. After some time, they won't be as difficult, and you'll be able to get through them more easily.
     
    hope4healing, Jul 2, 2019
    hope4healing, Jul 2, 2019
    #3
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  4. Jul 2, 2019 #4
    wheelgauge

    wheelgauge Fapstronaut

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    Exactly. That's why I will never understand people who use blockers... They're basically throwing the responsability to the security system, when it's theirs. The chastity device may help you by now, but you're not really recovering. Looking for shortcuts isn't a good idea if you ask me.
     
    wheelgauge, Jul 2, 2019
    wheelgauge, Jul 2, 2019
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  5. Jul 3, 2019 #5
    Faceplanter

    Faceplanter Fapstronaut

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    Totally agree. I do think some of what the OP described was pretty extreme and maybe this would help, but we are talking training wheels here. You need to learn to ride the bike without them.

    Also, if you don't trust yourself (OP) to go out normally, why would that lend itself to your girlfriend trusting you more. If I were her I'd probably be more freaked out.
     
    Faceplanter, Jul 3, 2019
    Faceplanter, Jul 3, 2019
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  6. Jul 5, 2019 #6
    Ghost Rider Ketch

    Ghost Rider Ketch Fapstronaut

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    Not to mention the sweatiness. It's summer! Would imagine it to be most uncomfortable and if you had to go to the bathroom or if you're pants come off for any reason...well...there would be quite a few awkward moments.
     
    Ghost Rider Ketch, Jul 5, 2019
    Ghost Rider Ketch, Jul 5, 2019
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