Would a girl really want a guy that used to look at porn?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by zxcv, Aug 9, 2017.

  1. ConstraintsTheory

    ConstraintsTheory Fapstronaut

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    Okay, would a girl want a guy that used to look at porn? hmm... well, would she prefer a guy that looks at porn? I can tell you for a fact most women do not. in fact most of the relationships that I've had in the past ended up going down inflames because of porn. so in regards to that question I'd say fuck yes she'd want a guy the USED to look at it but no longer does. I think in this day in age you would be hard pressed to find a guy that does not look at porn. so that right there is an advantage! ;)

    second, I can tell you're not happy with your current life situation, and in a way I can relate but this isn't the time to be feeling sorry for yourself, I think ultimately you should take time and evaluate yourself, study yourself and truly love yourself. after all you cannot expect to truly love someone until you have learned to truly love yourself.

    so my advice, work on yourself man, better yourself, set up small goals which are easy to achieve and over time it will create a snowball effect which will ultimately lead to bigger and longer term goals. "Rome wasn't built in a day" as they say and neither was your body, your habits and your inner thought. it will take time to become that person you truly wish to be. but, I am quite sure that if you focus on improving yourself first and foremost and challenging yourself putting yourself in uncomfortable situations to learn and grow from it. you'll improve by leaps and bounds and everything else will eventually fall into place. a man's success in life is much more appealing to a woman than a porn addiction you may have had oh so many years ago.

    with pain comes resilience which leads to triumph, know well you cannot have one without the other.

    stay the course, and good luck!
     
  2. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    I find it interesting how this thread migrated from: 'would she want me?' to: 'test driving her.'
     
  3. Death Mammal

    Death Mammal Fapstronaut

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    I thought the same thing.
     
    Kenzi likes this.
  4. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    I wholeheartedly disagree. If one gets a divorce because sex isnt what you hope it would be, you clearly didnt marry for the right reasons in the first place. The commitment of marriage reinforces the idea that a couple will seek help for their issues, such as real or perceived sexual incompatibility issues, instead of splitting up or running. "Test driving" encourages the idea that if you don't like it the first time, give it back. In the long run, this results in feelings of being used and takes its toll emotionally.

    That is one of the foundations of marriage - commitment to work through things that would be easy to walk away from otherwise.
     
  5. zxcv

    zxcv Fapstronaut

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    That's basically how I see marriage. Well as much as single guy that's never had a girlfriend can.
     
  6. daveplaysguitar90

    daveplaysguitar90 Fapstronaut

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    As long as it's a problem you've overcome, sure! The "knight in shining armor" is a fantasy. The best guys wear armor that's beat to hell and battle-tested!
     
    Ghost79 likes this.
  7. Some will probably disagree with me but this is how I see it. Once I beat porn I plan on moving on and never looking back. I want to forget that part of my life the best I can. I won't be telling anyone in the future that I was a porn addict. Only if I was in a very close, loving relationship would I even consider mentioning it and even then I only would if I had to.
     
    Ghost79 and FEEL like this.
  8. Poseidon

    Poseidon Fapstronaut

    Women would not have anyone to date if they excluded all guys that watched porn.
     
  9. dragonslayer

    dragonslayer Fapstronaut

    I will tell my own personal experience. I was a porn addict in college but it has been two years now since that time.

    When I met my girlfriend around a year ago, I just couldn't bring myself telling her that I was a porn addict in college, even though now I realize that I should have told in the beginning only. So, we became good friends and then committed to this relationship. By, that time I was totally clean for good.

    One night while we were talking about our past, I finally told her that I used to watch porn. She was very much upset for hiding such a huge thing from her and I am also ashamed of hiding. Things were stressful for a day or two, but then when I made her realize that, I'm not that person anymore, she accepted me.

    So, the answer to your question would be, most women would not like if their partner watched porn in the present. But, I guess they will understand if you watched it in past but now you realize how empty and shallow the habit is.
     
  10. zxcv

    zxcv Fapstronaut

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    Still wondering about this.
     
  11. sure why not? everybody has flaws and if a broad said that the sole reason she won't go out with you is because you USED to watch porn then the hell with her!
     
    Gotham Outlaw likes this.
  12. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    Most people these days won't even consider watching porn as an addiction but a "normal thing that every normal person does". So don't expect understanding.
     
  13. Lakeside

    Lakeside Fapstronaut

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    So, I'm not going to claim any great experience in this sort of thing, but it seems to me that you are going about this the wrong way.
    Don't go looking for a girl that you think will accept your addiction. Instead, find a girl that you like and get to know her better. Wait until you know you want a serious relationship with her, then tell her about your addiction. If she likes you in the same way she will be supportive and understanding. If the thought that you did porn, and might be tempted to do it again, is enough to put her off you, then frankly she doesn't like you enough to marry you in the first place.

    I speak from the extremely blessed position of not having to go looking for a girl, because my girl found me. She told me that she liked me, and I realised that I liked her in return. But I knew I wouldn't feel right starting a serious relationship with her without first telling her about my addiction. So, after ages of being scared she'd hate me for it, I told her; and she has been nothing but supportive and understanding. And I find my whole life is easier now that she knows.
     
    orangemoon and Gotham Outlaw like this.
  14. orangemoon

    orangemoon Fapstronaut

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    Girl's aren't single entities. Seeing 'them' like that is a symptom of p addiction. There are lots of diverse and accepting people out there who will treat you with kindness and have their own past. I wouldn't try looking for a girl but wait until it just happens, which it will. Focus on loving yourself and accepting yourself until then
     
    Dayanew likes this.
  15. Inky Artist

    Inky Artist Fapstronaut

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    I would not worry about meeting the right girl. I am a Christian woman, a good girl in many ways except for porn of course. In the past, I was able to hide it and continue on with my life, but it has become a problem and I've decided to truly give it over to God and work through this program to get over this once and for all. The bottom line is, if she is right for you, she will accept you for everything in your past. And yes, you should tell her about it when the time is right because honesty is the basis of a good relationship. Many women in the church use porn but would never admit it openly. I wouldn't be surprised if your future wife has something in her past that she is ashamed of as well! Just continue to work on yourself and trust God that he will bring the right woman to you.
     
    zxcv likes this.

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