You too can live without porn and masturbation!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by EarthDragon, Jul 14, 2015.

  1. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

    735
    476
    63
    As of today, I've been porn free for 161, and MO free for 140 days. Actually a lot have changed since I reached 90 days no MO. 50 days have passed and I feel much better. PMO is getting out of my mind, and I don't have the urge to MO even if I feel horny, even if I have the occasion. It's just not part of my life anymore. This was my technique, I constantly said to myself: "This is not a part of my life anymore." It can only be a passing thought.

    How did I achieved this? I wrote this a number of times, but I write it again for those who are new.
    1: I had the mindset, that no matter what happens, I won't relapse. Even if I die. This is of course ridiculous, no one has ever died because of a reboot, but I determined that I will pull through each and every urge that I face. No exceptions. This is so important, I want to repeat: NO. EXCEPTIONS.
    2: Opposite sex real life accountability partner, who is not addicted and strongly, morally against PMO! Someone who you trust, and someone who you'd hate to disappoint. I see people have different ideas about how does an AP work. What I did is that I asked them to listen to me. I told them that I had a problem, and I was doing this and this against it, and I'd appreciate if from time to time they'd ask me how I was doing. I speak in plural because I had 2 APs for my 2 attempts.

    What is more important though, is not how did I do, but why, because I start to believe that this is the question that ultimately determines whether you quit or not. I see a lot of people with lists, why do they do this, and that is great. But what is most important is that your why has to be very strong. My why was two-folded. First, I did this to prove that I can achieve what I want, and also to get rid of the emotional sedative that is PMO to be able to connect to real people. This worked fine for 90 days, but I fell really hard after that. Second time I started again because I had a gf (still have :)) and I thought that I should really quit now. Also it was against my beliefs but those reasons weren't strong enough.

    What I believe is, that I'm a man in the image of the creator of the universe, and that he made me for better things than pmo. That I'm worthy, and that he grants me power for things he deems okay. So I can wholeheartedly say that I got my power to quit from God.

    You may not believe in God and that is fine, but love yourself enough to ask some questions from yourself. Ideas have consequences, so how do you view yourself? What gives you your worth? Yourself? The World? Someone else? And a follow up question could be: "What is my worldview? How does reality works in my opinion? Does this opinion aligns with my view of myself or not? Is my worldview reflects reality?" You gotta figure out who you are and where you stand if you want to move towards a certain direction.

    Anyway, I want to congratulate everyone with decent streaks, and encourage all the others, to strive for a longer streak. It gets easier, just hang in there. You can live without PMO. Believe THAT!
     
  2. NF SINCE BIRTH

    NF SINCE BIRTH Fapstronaut

    1,241
    1,271
    143
    161 days is great! I admire you. This is my last streak btw. You have some nice tips and I am going to include them in my success plan. See you on the other side!
     
  3. Andrew0268

    Andrew0268 Fapstronaut

    510
    259
    43
    Great post. The best part is the section on having a strong WHY. When the WHY goes away its easy for everything else to go to pot. I know from personal experience. But my why is strong right now. I want to look for "the one" and I know deep down that pmo will make it much harder or impossible to find the one for me.
     
    Kenji likes this.
  4. Kenji

    Kenji Guest

    Wonderful Earth Dragon! :D

    Just curious about your username, as I am into Chinese astrology, are you born in the year of the earth dragon, or perhaps the name is something entirely else?

    Fire tiger right here!

     
  5. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

    735
    476
    63
    Yep, you guessed it. :D I was reading about Chinese astrology for a few years. Dragons are cool, but tigers are awesome!
     
  6. Kenji

    Kenji Guest

    My friend, dragons are my favorite type of people. My best friend and longtime kung fu brother is a dragon. I like most dragon people better than horse and dog people (horse and dog are in my own trine).

    Dragons (Chinese zodiac characteristics) are AMAZING people (if they are good, not evil people that is) as well as cool.

    My first romantic love was a dragon (lady dragons are crazy but I love them nonetheless).
     
    KeenEye likes this.
  7. BlackVelvet

    BlackVelvet Fapstronaut

    294
    118
    43
    Wow what a post! I'm certainly glad I read this! 161 days is amazing @EarthDragon hopefully I can hit that. Anyway, your perspective on this was spot on, the WHY part was my absolute favorite. You've actually gave me another why! My first why is that I wanna get my self confidence up and actually feel like I'm living, my second is now just as you said "I did this to prove that I can achieve what I want". Thank you so much!

    Au revoir,
    Ace
     
  8. iceman40

    iceman40 Fapstronaut

    171
    196
    43
    Love and God are the same to me. If they have love, show love, and feel love, they believe in the higher power. For a long time I was made to believe that God was an external being keeping a tally on our acts: good or bad. At the end of our life he would had the column and if we are way bad we will go to hell, a horrible place. I more I read different philosophies and beliefs the more I realize that the external God is in the image of man. Why would God care about harming someone, or punishing people? Men are driven by their Egos to do horrible things to others and justify with faith.

    I really liked your post and wanted to share my view on it. Love=God
     
  9. Oneness

    Oneness Fapstronaut

    194
    199
    43
    You legend. I'm so happy for you. Congratulations.
     
  10. iHappy

    iHappy Guest

    Thank you @Haizam for bringing dead topic to life. It was a good read.
    Now when you did it, I am wondering how is @EarthDragon doing. Do you still have urges to watch porn? If so, I believe they are rare and not as powerful as they used to be.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

    735
    476
    63
    Hey Iceman!

    I know what you mean. I'm a bit of a theologian in the process, and your past view of God would make you an excellent Muslim. However the God, who I know to be the one true God, is not like that. And yes, He is love, but love is a blind force and He is much more than that. He is a person. Well, three persons to be precise but that's complicated. He is not only a person, he is the creator, and we, humans are His creations. Since He loves us, He wants the best for us, but His ideas of what is best, and ours are way different. He is perfect, we are not, so we harm each other all the time, whether knowingly or otherwise. And this infuriates Him. Think about this way: you have two children, and one of your kids starts to beat up the other. Wouldn't you be mad? Of course you would. God is not only the creator, He is the heavenly father and as such, he deeply cares about each and every person who walks on earth. Yep, even you. But He is not only Love, He is also Justice. And His Justice means that he cannot let any unjust action (ie. sin) unpunished, no matter how many good deeds you have. Seems unfair? Think about it this way: there is a guy, who is kind, helpful, always walks the neighbors dog, who is an old lady. Now this guy brutally murders someone. He gets caught, stands before the judge and says: You know, yeah, I killed that man, but see, I do a lot of good things as well: I walk the dog, and I'M otherwise a really nice guy. And the judge would say: "Uh, okay, yes, I know you and really like you, you can go." Would that be justice? Nope. Justice would be prison sentence and/or death penalty, relative to where you live.

    So God doesn't harm anyone who does not deserve it. God is not arbitrary. Know I certainly don't want to say, that every harm that befalls any man is God's doing, but the matter of fact, we are all guilty before Him. You don't think? Have you ever lied? Have you ever looked with lust at a woman who is not your wife? We are on an anti-porn site, that's a no brainer. If only God's justice would be there, we'd all get punishment. But as you said it, God loves us, therefore, He made a way out. He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ to the cross, who died in our place. In your place. So you can be forgiven, and justice would still be served. Being a Christian (which I am) is accepting this forgiveness. Not being a Christian is rejecting it.

    I know this is a lot, but have you heard this before? Did anyone tell you about this? What do you think?

    You said men driven by their egos, thus they do horrible stuff. Absolutely on point. In Christianity we call ego "indwelling sin" and not only this is what drives people to do bad things, this is what tries to justify them. It can be anything, and yes, it can be faith. A misplaced faith that is. Which is horrible. But whether we talk about religious faith or other, it's the same thing. Muslim terrorist have a certain faith that is religious. Stalin had a certain faith (based on marxism) and he acted according to it.
     
  12. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

    735
    476
    63
    I wonder how on earth did you guys find this topic. :D I'm doing fine, thanks for asking. And yes, I still have urges, but they are nothin more than a fleeting thought. I wouldn't say that they are rare, but completely powerless. I made a commitment some 1,5 years ago and I'm sticking to it.
    My wife and I agreed that masturbation can happen, because we want to learn some stuff which would make sex enjoyable and me more durable and that involves MO but not P of course. Still, I managed like 15-16 months without it, so it can be done. Also, I don't link it with self gratification and porn anymore, rather I want to be better in bed for my wife.

    Thanks for shouting out to me! All the best!
     
    iHappy likes this.

Share This Page