Day 34 , I woke up last night with a hard on like never before . A 20 minute meditation cured that tent pole .
Also guys . I have always had a fantasy about having a drug fuelled threesome with my ex wife and her friend , but with no pmo the last month , I feel the fantasy is loosening its grip on my mind . This fantasy has been going on nearly twenty years after a night they we teasing / testing me to see how I would react .i should have made my move . That's my fanasty
It's totally true, I mediate alone every evening about my life and it brings everything back in order!
Try, fail , try. , fail ,try , fail , try , fail , try , fail , try , fail , try , fail , try , succeed
I experienced and lived this saying and I know the meaning, whenever there were difficulty and hardship and I tried more to tackle them, I saw progress mentaly and physically and also social acceptance now than ever before. I saw peoples acceptance and also their respect toward my redlines and privacy when I started persist in front of their unfair behavior toward my privacy . I see peoples respect now after I conflicted with them over their invasion into my privacy even my family respect me more now and they have accepted my fair rules and they now are trying to satisfy me. That is why I like Trump, because I feel he is himself and he is not fake, and he is trying to defend his and his countries right firmly. Now I feel I am living me ,I mean I live the way I want to live, I have become and I am becomig the person that is the same and one in my private and in public places. I enjoy that. In past I used to understand all people ,some of them invade my privacy , and I did not defend myself ,I mean they hurted me by their sayings and doings bad things or inappropriate things, and I was saying to myself they don't understand but it continues to more and more invasion toward my privacy from others and after a while I saw I did not have any character and people used to use me ,not sexual abuse and I didn't enjoy from life In sum ,I was a very nice guy , but I felt I lose myself and people didn't treat me accordingly base on my kindness toward them But now that I am a bit more firm and defend my privacy they have changed And I feel I alive and I am living a more enjoyable life.
Day 10 Benefit7: For the first time I slept well last night. It was like when I was a kid. I don't remember when I fell asleep Having a body free from thoughts and experience being in present and feeling the environment, temperature,sounds and..colors with my senses is also things I experience these days more and more as I am staying away from Porn and Pmo and Fmo
