Day 6! I'm uruk-hai now As I start to get better my urges have been racketing back up. This morning I have to confess I dealt with an urge very badly: I let it brood for a good 10 minutes doing nothing but trying to ignore it before I "snapped out of it", got out of bed and dealt with it properly! I've had a few more urges throughout the day which I was better at dealing with. Also I had a dream I relapsed which really fucked with me, the dream was so realistic for a good 5 minutes after I woke up I genuinely thought I'd relapsed. Funny in hindsight though. I read up and seeing as I was relieved when I realised I was in the clear I think the dream is a good sign.
"while you could have just masturbated without it." That hit me hard. I didn't really think about much until you said it. However, I was also thinking about the fact that I should masturbate without using my hand, as that would be breaking the rules a lot. You're also right about the Instagram thing. "fullfilling your need for sexy images, because you went on instagram to do it". That's true, I was in a very horny state. Let me answer your other questions: 1. "Have you PMO'ed to Instagram before? Or is it a big trigger for you that leads you to PMO?" Answer: I haved pmo'ed to Instagram twice in my life. Is it a big trigger? Well, it can be, but usually anytime I relapse, I'm not using Instagram. 2. "Have you ever done this before of masturbating to fall asleep?" Answer: This is the first time that this has ever happened. 3. "What is the level/intensity of your addiction?" Answer: Hmmmmm, that's interesting. I could probably make it for 2 weeks straight. Because my first method (which was hatred) is completely gone, I've been relying on other factors. While coronavirus is probably an overused excuse to fap, I can't blame it. In reality, I actually have to blame myself. I am the cause of all of my horny actions. Yesterday was an extreme situation. It was raining outside. Because of that, I couldn't play basketball. All of the games that I've been playing have become boring. I played a Chess game, then I got bored again. I felt tired as well. But still, I can't use an extreme situation as an excuse. Coronavirus is a true test of our mental abilities (which is something that I have heard NO ONE talk about on NoFap). Whoever doesn't masturbate and ejaculate for at least a month during this quarantine is truly a warrior. I want to be one of those people. Well, you see, the thing on my phone is that because I don't have the full internet service, I can't use the phone's messaging app. So what I did was download Instagram. I also have Hangouts. The next time I get any girl's contact information, I should use Hangouts, not Instagram. Instagram is filled with hot pictures that are tempting to look at. I might delete Instagram and transfer the contact information to Hangouts. Yeah, that's sounds like a good idea. I'm not the kind of the guy who works out because I don't have a good reason (while you might) for working out. And while the only good reason (for now, and for me) for working might be just so I won't be bored, my eventual habit would fade because of the strain. "I was fortunately never put in this situation" It seems for me that the rare instances are getting more common. I need to stop making these excuses. Plus, if I let this slide, then there's a very high chance that I'll do this again so I can have pleasure. I can't let this happen. "Resetting your counter thats up to you, but if i did what u did i would reset my counter because i broke the rules of No PMO simple as that." Yeah, it's now decided: I'm resetting my counter. While jerking off due to not being able to socialize with other people seems like the perfect excuse, I can't let that happen. I need to find new habits. If you have any suggestions, please list them. (And like I already said, while you may have a reason for working out, I don't.) Thank you @BeastBoyBalling 獣 , @nico2211, and @belio123 for your advice. I greatly appreciate it.
Hey I think that you should consider that as a relapse because you masterbated and that too to some hot pic or vid. Now as you said that you masterbated because you have some school work to do. Now let me tell you that 4 days ago when I went to sleep at 12 a.m. i was not able to sleep and guess how many hours I stayed up that night.. Fucking 7and ½ hours can you imagine that and I didn't use my phone in those hours. Just lying in bed trying to sleep. At 7:30 A.M. my father came to wake me up but i didn't slept the whole night and was still not feeling sleepy. So I studied after having a breakfast. But later on I slept in afternoon for 2½ hours. You can do the same. And let me tell you that the concentration required in my studies is way more than that required in your School work. From that day I stopped sleeping in afternoon. And now I get asleep very fast and wake up fresh. I don't sleep in afternoon at any cost. So start again from 0. Don't be sad or anything. From today onwards do Nofap strictly and with proper discipline. That's all!
So you chose option 1, huh? I like that That was a hard decision you made that night. We both chose the exact opposite, and now I see the result from another person (which is you). Thanks for telling me this Lesson learned: It doesn't matter how rare the "masturbation-related situation" is. Eventually, you (especially me) would do the same thing over and over again at night, and I can't allow that to happen. "From today onwards do Nofap strictly and with proper discipline. That's all!" Right!
Day 30 today! Wasn't sure I'd make it to Elf, and to Rivendell, yet here we are. If I make it to 46 days it will be my longest streak ever. Thanks @RiseToGreatness for setting up such an awesome and inspiring challenge.
This shows a lot of wisdom. Flow is the best way to occupy yourself. It's almost impossible not to be productive when you're flowing, whereas forced work rarely results in anything that stands the test of time. I don't think I've looked back on anything I forced myself to do and thought "Boy, I'm proud of that". Having said that, there are rare things that you need to do as a good citizen, and the mark of constructing a good life is to try and minimise the times when you have to force yourself to work. For a lot of us, that means taking a good hard look at the choices we have made.
well, whatever it is, it´s better to find that reason . only awareness can bring the clarity you need.
well, the ideal is not put yourself in those risky situations brother. in the heat of the battle is much hard to overcome the urges. i suggest you get a fixed schedule to sleep and wake up. and also of course, have a very tight triggers system, since watching instagram on the loose is asking for troubles.
when you have wet dreams, then you´ll be even more surprised . Well, it was all ok brother, except for the "good 10 minutes doing nothing". that´s very dangerous, the worst thing you can do is to freeze when urges hit. you got to stay active, get up and do something, then urges will pass. the longer you stay in a idle situation the more the addicted brain will trick you to go to "the dopamine solution". meanwhile, congratulations for the rank up. excellent work, keep going!!!
i search out for you some time ago and saw on your diary what happened. i´m sorry about it . but after that great streak you improve in wisdom and method so i´m sure you´re a different man now. Let´s go again my brother. One day at a time.