Day 7! First week in a while. Some urges today, especially within the last hour, I have to be vigilant; especially at night. A lost night's sleep is a one day problem; staying as a PMO addict is a lifetime problem! I'm glad to say that as opposed to brooding like yesterday I got out of bed almost immediately today. Virus is also mostly gone besides this hacking cough.
Because of coronavirus and that I don't have to wake up early to go to school, I can stay up late. I usually stay up until 12 am to 3:30 am. Thanks for the sleep schedule idea, but I'm not the kind of guy who likes to have a sleep schedule. (Well for school, that's different, I go to bed at a certain time.) That idea is fine, but I like the idea of discipline better (which I will talk about more as you continue to read this). A trigger system? Can you elaborate on what you mean by that? Do you mean like identifying the things that trigger me the least and things that trigger me the most? If that's what you mean, then I have a general idea of what triggers me the least and what triggers me the most. More importantly, I need to develop discipline, but I can't make it rigorous. Maybe the next time I do my foolish acts again (masturbating and ejaculating), I'll ban myself from basketball for two days, and so forth. The more I do it, the more I get punished. I like the idea of discipline, but again, I can't make it too rigorous because then I'll get really bored, which leads to masturbation and ejaculation. I'm deleting Instagram in one week. I have to do something on there before I delete my account.
Day 2 The one BIG thing that hits home today is that after many years (since 4th grade), I confessed my feelings to a girl through text (I wish I did it in person.) We go to different schools. Also note that I'm not desperate; I'm completely fine if she rejects me. Plus, I don't even expect her to respond within 7 days (which is the number of days I'll be deleting my Instagram profile). I made that clear through the 2 texts I sent her. Wish me luck. About that: If she likes me, then more the reason to quit pmo (because then she becomes a part of my life). If she doesn't like me, then that's fine as well, I still have my reasons: 1. It's hard to socialize / things get very awkward when you're just sitting or standing there and not saying anything. 2. I get too lazy when I masturbate. It's all I ever think about when I'm doing it, and it's not right either. My mind is being hardwired to only f*** girls because of their appearance. 3. I can't think normally when speaking to people when all that is on mind is women. It's a horrible thing. 4. I don't have the guts to get a girl alone so I can admit my feelings to her. 5. I can't easily ask girls out. 6. My confidence is so low when talking to girls.
Thanks RiseToGreatness, great to see that you are still so active and helping all of us with this fun challenge. As you said, one day at a time.
Going strong. Meet you there in 4 Weeks!! Nice one! Welcome in middle earth. Together we will destroy this ring once and for all Good job sir! Keep your guards up. We can fail at the blink of an eye Just you being here is already putting sauron in a place of fear Well done! We can do this Wow! Not bad! Wow! Not bad. Ive been at such a streak already. Keep your guards up, you can fail at any time!! Maybe start a new hobby Nice one. I recommend you read the book How to be 3% man of corey wayne. you can download it for free on b-ok.cc or his website Nice to have you! together we will destroy this ring
Excellent brother. You´ve come a long way . You prove yourself worthy of carrying the ring without falling into it´s spell. Now it´s time to travel my brother. Far away until the top of Mount Doom. Let´s go!!!
a sleep system is good because it gives structure to your life. the more you roam about doing this or that, the more likely to get bored, confused and so on. strong ingredients for a relapse, especially at night. when you have a schedule you know until what time to do this, to do that, you can go do this until that, etc etc. it´s solid and safe! when the time is over, it´s over. tomorrow is another day . you can choose not to have a sleep schedule but the risk of relapse will be much higher. it´s very important to have a triggers system. you must identify all the situations that are likely to put you on "peaking activities" since peaking is the first step of the relapse. then to all those situations you must create a blocker: a way in which you can´t act out on a urge even if you have it. this is crucial brother because the triggers system is usually the last defense against a relapse when willpower crumbles. it must be active always, good days and bad days.
nice testimony . don´t worry brother, after the reboot all those issues will be solved, you will be completely different . so focus all the way in the reboot, it should be the top (or one of the top) priorities in your life. Let´s go!!