bro, i think you´re being rash. you´re not dependent on the group to stay clean, but the group helps you to stay clean, and that´s what matters. in fighting an addiction every weapon counts, and staying accountable is super important. it keeps you motivated, keeps you in check for your behaviour, and gives you the benefit of receiving feedback loop. comparing that you´re sober for not even 3 months, that is small feature compared to the years of brain conditioning from porn and masturbation. make no mistakes: PMO still has the upper hand. maybe one day you can leave accountability, or reduce it to sporadic check in´s, but not now, not this soon. anyway if you still want to leave, at least keep accountable with an AP. don´t cut all your accountabilites bonds, that would be a grave mistake. I wish you the best big hug
I see! For a second there I thought you were literally going into battle. And that's not to undermine the battle of the mind by any means. I now understand how the battle of the mind is in many ways more consequential. Thank you for clarifying. I need to adopt more of that warrior spirit.
don´t worry bro. we´re with you, no matter what . You´re doing great my brother, do the best you can, and that´s ok. and if you can´t do your best, that´s ok too . "But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer."
don´t use your phone right when you wake up, specially social media, that will mess up your dopamine real bad. in fact, don´t use electronic devices in the first hour of the day. that will help you stay mentally sharp. here´s my morning routine: - wake up right when the alarm rings, no slacking in bed. - go to the bathroom, wash my face with cold water - drink half liter of water - meditate 20/30 minutes - do a quick body massage - take breakfast while reading a book - get dressed while hearing music and that´s it. i´m ready to take on the world
Okay. So, I messed up last night. I figured I would have a rough time as I've been noticing the third and fourth days have been particularly rough. The morning started out well though and I was mildly hopeful. However, before noon I noticed I started wasting time on youtube even when I had work to do. That youtube watching quickly became fishing. I have great blockers on my phone and laptop though, so there was nothing (even on youtube) that could really get me. I bought the lie that there was nothing on there anyway so I could peruse my way around, however, there was still the desire to see something and I didn't turn it off. I wasted time and I ended up being late to submit an important file for work, and I was then late to my DMV appointment. It was rough. I did make it to Starbucks and got some work done, which I was really happy and proud about. Trying to salvage, I didn't let myself get caught and fall like last time. It's just when I got home I had a couple of hours till bed and I started fishing on youtube again. Then within the span of an hour and a half, I was using my father's Ipad and that was it. Lesson: I'm going to put strict limits on youtube. I'm going to add to my mantra "it's okay to be bored." And I'll be extra careful to not be alone on the third and fourth days.
Checking in Fellowship Feeling much better today!!!!! (i hope tomorrow i won´t crash ). feeling energetic and overall good mood. had a work meeting with a girl this morning, and only experienced a small amount of anxiety, which is good sometimes i experience a dizziness in the head (brain fog starting) but i found that blowing the nose really strong several times helps to clear the mind . give it a try if you need bros Nothing more to add. Have a great day brave Warriors. Keep focus!!! "Forth, and fear no darkness!"
Yesterday happened to me too with Youtube. It is unprectible , i compared with the creature Stitch the aplication.
Fell again. I stayed behind to get some work done as the family went for an adventure. Must have made the decision to PMO hours ago because I didn't even hesitate. The climb out of Orcdom is so very hard my friends, if you have made it to Hobbiton, please don't ever look back!
Checking in Fellowship friends! Day 262 free of porn, day 190 free of MO. This week is going well, I got some good workouts in. Work is going well and my meditation sessions are really cultivating more and more awareness. Let's keep going! 190 days – You reach the banks of the Morgulduin, the polluted river that crosses Minas Morgul. A cold steam issue from the river, it has a “cold and cruel voice” whose stench and vapours sickens you.