Hit me like a boulder yesterday - hardest day so far and I caved. Still, 16 days is a big improvement on the usual. Annoyingly I had the chance to get myself out of the situation, but didn't. Ah, well start again.
You made it past the first two weeks, which is the hardest bit IMO, so you’ve every chance of improving on that next time.
Checking in. Happy to have made it over the 4 day hump, which is always the hardest for me. Great day today, looking forward to starting the week with a clear mind. Be well everyone.
Checking in. Tomorrow will be a week! I feel like I'm back on track, but know all too well how quickly the rug can get pulled out. I'm guarding my attention energy as best I can, no social media or web browser on my phone, and that has been huge. Be well everyone.
Hey guys, I'm back. My internet was out for almost a week. Will get back to updating the ranking tonight.
Checking in. Day 6... this hurts badly. Fuck. I am having very strong withdrawal symptoms. I feel angry, I feel sad, I feel lonely, I feel devastated, I sometimes cry... There are so many impulses that can make you relapse… Like many of you, I’m an addict and my brain has built so many ways to fool itself. It will take some time to rewire it. So, this is harder than expected… but… in these 6 days I’ve read several books, started working out, finished putting my house in order (threw lots of stuff away), and felt in control for the first time in several years. I am testing my force of will so strongly... but it feels great.
Keep the faith brother! You're starting to inhabit your own body again, and it takes some time for your emotions to recalibrate to you being present and willing to hear them. They've been shouting at you for years to be heard over the porn walls you've built up, and it takes some time before they realize they don't need to shout anymore. For now, feel every emotion and be grateful that you can feel again. It hurts like a motherfucker, yes, but it's worth it.