6 Steps to total victory over masturbation

I started masturbating at the age of 14. I've been trying to stop but if feels near to impossible. I really want to stop. I realize that i feel alive anytime I don't masturbate and feel depressed after masturbating. I can't think straight. Everything looks like porn to me. If i see a girl on skirts above her knee i lose it. So many fucked up imaginations would start flying into my mind. I would end up masturbating. I decided to stop and didn't last more than 10 to 11 days. I really need help. I don't feel alive. I don't feel like a human being. I don't feel normal. It all started in second school. I had a roommate who was a homosexual and he kept persuading me and kept touching me. I mean i was 12 or 13 then i didn't know what i was doing. I yielded. I left him touch me in places he wasn't supposed to and he suc*** on my d*** and asked me to do same but i couldn't. He kept stroking my d*** but i didn't cum and he kept stroking his and he released. I didn't know what that thing was. When i was at age 14, i decided to knw what it was. I started stroking my d*** and released and it felt weird, and awfully exciting. Little did i knw that it would destroy me. Since then up until now, I'm still on it. I'm a Christian, i believe in God. I've been asking him to help me promising Him I would stop believing He would help and it's working but I don't knw how i keep Messing it up. I heardna voice in me that said i need external help and i decided to Google how to stop masturbating and i found NoFap. I really need help guys please . I really need to stop. It's ruining my life and my activities. I don't feel normal. Atimes it makes me get tired of life itself. Please, y'all should help a brother out here please. I'm pleading. God bless y'all.

 

you seem like the type that would do good in real life groups and can help other ppl as well, if you can talk to someone you know or get to know in real life start a pact with them meet ups groups stay in constant communication update each other and motivate, get a girlfriend /a woman you can fall in love with practice kareeza(it's edging but with real women) hopefully you can be open with her as well and she can check you and on you to MAKE sure your staying on point