P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

@mentorr To answer your questions:

1) I'd estimate I have a semi erection 70% of the time, full erection 15% of the time, and nothing at all 15% of the time. It is seldom that there is no morning wood at all.

2) After orgasm in mid February it took until early April until I felt sexually charged again. If I feel fully sexually charged before June then the refractory periods are getting shorter.

3) To be honest, and this is not meant to be discouraging, I'll be really surprised now if it happens before 2023. It's happened enough times now where I thought I was completely recovered only to go back into a deep flatline that I'm realistic about a timetable.

This is the only aspect of my life that is unsatisfactory to me, meaning my health, mental state, sobriety, career, finances, relationship with God, etc. are all solid. November 2023 will not only mark four years since I began this journey but also my 45th birthday. My goal is to regain complete sexual function by then and then spend the rest of my time left in this incarnation enjoying life. This is the final hurdle to overcome.

 

Damn. We really are in this for the long ride.

I think what you just said is spot on - my last orgasm was to test my refractory period and it took approx. 54 days for my libido to return and for my body to leave the flatline. Its a hell of a lot less than 7 months (or 200+ days) which was my refractory period 2.5 years ago.

It will be 3 years of recovery for me in July of this year. I honestly thought that by this Summer I would be home free - but I am starting to realise this could be a 4 year recovery potentially, even with minimal orgasms and no P or M.

A final question from me: do you feel alcohol has had any affect on your reboot - if so, in what way?

 

Final question - a lot of people advise that this late into recovery we should rewiring. With the threat of a 2-month flatline, have you been following this advice? Thanks

 

Each time I mo to p, it took me at least 60 days to feel things down there. I used to think it'd take me about 2 weeks for libido to return. Nope!!
Even 2 months libido still not 50%. And I've been on nofap since 2014. There are certain times on your reboot that you cannot relapse at all or you'll make recovery longer.

 

@mentorr LOL exactly one week ago I celebrated five years of sobriety my man!

I've mentioned this here and there but after I got sober from alcohol I had horrendous PAWS for about 21 months or so. Horrendous meaning awful depression and periodic suicidal thoughts on top of the physiological effects. The week before it lifted I went for a car ride one evening and started shrieking at the top of my lungs. It's something I never want to go through ever again.

I suspect the reason I've only been flatlining with minimal other symptoms of PAWS is because I already "got credit for time served" from my previous experience. 85% of my symptoms revolve around lack of libido with the rest being some fatigue, brain fog, slight headaches, and very slight mood swings. The psychological/physiological symptoms this time have never been worse than mild.

So alcohol has had zero effect on my reboot because I have not touched that fucking poison for over five years now I'm proud to say!

For your second question I believe sexual activity has been beneficial to me even though it has caused me to go back into flatline. Luckily I have a booty call so I can space these encounters and not overdo it.

 

Wow 5 years?! Congratulations, that is definitely something to celebrate! I definitely aspire to hit that marker in the future, its a tough road for sure. What made you shriek while driving during your sobriety though? Was it the pain of going through PAWS for so long, or was it a bodily response?

I definitely noticed that as time progresses, general symptoms become less and less. However libido seems to be the king of all the symptoms and one of the last to balance out.

After all of this time recovering, what I am finding is that girls truly are showing interest in pretty much every aspect of my life. A year ago - I wouldn't get a single look. Now? I seem to get attention at work, the gym, on the train into work. It is getting out of hand and at this point I don't know whether to have a 'booty call', face the flatline and push recovery. Or continue going cold turkey without an orgasm for as long as I can!

 

Right before the PAWS lifted I had terrible depression and suicidal thoughts. Constantly crying and afraid I was doomed to live life like that if I remained sober. When I went for the drive I started screaming because I felt like I was going crazy.

I truly believe the reason I've avoided these symptoms with semen retention is because I've already gone through them and purged those demons from my system. Unlike others here my symptoms are overwhelmingly related to low libido and not much else.

 

I think that would make a lot of sense. So if anything you alcohol purge has given you a somewhat? Are you convinced that had you not given up alcohol your situation right now would be slightly worse?

 

Base on what you wrote, you almost done curing. You go to work, the gym, getting attention from girls? Better than me actually. I can't even do those things....

 

Keep going - I guarantee you will get there with perseverance. After 2/3 years of waiting to be able to attract girls again I am starting to find that it might not be worth it. I really don't want to mess up my streak and head back into flatline for 6-7 weeks.

How are you getting on at the moment @Freeddom_Taker

 

I think the 2 recent relapses weren't worth it. Ive started doing better at 42 days, I messed it up by 2 relapses. Although I had brain fog and couldn't sleep, still I was improving...

I'm almost at 5 weeks right now. However I'm still have Agoraphobia, Anhedonia, social anxiety and isolation. Still feel worthless, impaired, worse than even in my heavy pmo days, constipation, trapped, bed ridden etc...

 

Dead.

I was drinking a handle of whiskey a day at the end, there is no way I'd still be alive after five years.

After about two and a half years of sobriety I decided I needed to tackle my sex/masturbation addiction. Five years after quitting drinking I am still a work in progress.

Flatlines are frustrating as hell but when I reflect on the overall journey I take it in stride. Five years ago my life was a complete mess and I was on the fast track to an early grave. Now life is beautiful except sometimes my libido is out of whack. No complaints here.

Ultimately recovery is a marathon not a sprint.

 

It must be a crazy thought to think that had you not changed your lifestyle you wouldn’t be here. What was it that pushed you to drink so heavily if you dont mind me asking? Totally understand if you would prefer not to answer.

In other news, last night I had a pretty bad wet dream and lost the entire semen load. It’s been the first time in months. I didn’t even get a window to kegel, I was that deep into sleep. I’m really curious to see if a) a flatline occurs, and b) the severity and how long the symptoms will last. For now I just have a very light buzz in my head. Let’s see.

 

Addiction is progressive, meaning you get worse as time goes on. It's the same reason why porn addicts eventually need to watch really hardcore stuff just to be able to get an erection.

 

Long time I don't post over here.

I'm approaching 3 years of nofap journey. I feel better and better. I hope I will be able to announce my total healing soon. Even skin damage to my foreskin, that I held little hope would ever recover, is looking quite good.

But the worst is the paws. Only god knows how much suffering I've withstood. And I am exhausted, I pray every night that this will end some day. Countless symptoms that I've described here: panick attacks, ectopic beats, anxiety, alienation, cramps, insomnia, indigestions including vomiting in the middle of the night, eczema, acne, and other skin reactions, irritability, etc.

I don't know if there are waves of this remaining, as they come in waves. I hope this is receding down to zero.

 

Yeah seems crazy 3 years no relapses and still PAWS to such a degree. I mean Ive also been here over 3 years now, but my PAWS symptoms have a causal relationship with sexual activity in all its forms, and the negation of that activity

 

Do you mean you had sex in those 3 years? Did you do 3 years hardmode or 3 years no P and M?

 

Yes I relapsed at month 8 once, and then at 16-17 months had sex several times over 2-3 months. Then 4 months streak, then a year of 1 month streak, 1 month relapsing PMO+Sex, until Around 75 days ago, now back on a streak

 

Can I ask over how many years your addiction has spanned, and how old you are?

 

If you can have sex, I don't think you're in the red zone of nofap. A good 6 months hard mode should totally cure you.