The Lord of the Rings Challenge

It's been some time since my last post.
BUT I haven't been on a binge.
Relapsed twice over the last 2 weeks but have since kept myself extremely focused on work: I can honestly say that over the last week and a half I have been more productive than I have been since before Covid!
Anyway, since I've not been keeping track of my days, I choose today as Day 1.
There have been urges, but I have not allowed myself to stray!

Day 1 as a Hobbit complete!
“Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm,” - Winston Churchill.
EDIT: Just noticed that the thread has changed. I must say, it feels good to be a hobbit from the get go

 

Day 5. Looong day at work today, skipping the gym today but will be replenish for tomorrow when my actual restday is, so I wont miss any days. About to make some food, get my macros in and then hop on the game with a friend. Good weekend to you all

 

Checking in day 245.

 

Brothers, I've kept relapsing in the last two days. I was taken by a deep sadness for what I had done and entered in a self destructive mindset. Hopeless, I binged and edged 5 times these days.

I'm still sad, but I think I might have finally come to mind that the only way out this bad rut is stopping that vicious cycle.

 

Day 345

The other day something that was kinda dangerous happened to me, but I think I reacted in a good way. I logged in an old Pinterest account. And as soon as I did I realized that when I was still watching at p, I used to look for hot anime girls in that account. I tried to not look directly to any image and I managed to delete all "hot anime girls" material from it.

I'm somehow happy about it because I didn't even get an urge. I was sure I didn't want to start looking at those picks, i just wanted to erase them from my life.

 

Day 1

Quest Item - Sting

Today was ok.
Lots of urges to PMO and lots of sexual thoughts, especially being out in a big park on a hot sunny day like today.
Got really bad anxiety in the evening and was close to turning to PMO for relief, but actually instead I did a meditation for anxiety on this Christian meditation app I use called Hallow. Really good, I recommend it if that’s your sort of thing.
I then decided to have an ice cold bath and prayed the rosary, and it gave me a lot of peace.

I still have some urges to PMO now, but I’m going to give my mum my phone and head to bed with a book instead.
I think I’ll wake up tomorrow proud of myself for choosing to do the healthy thing instead of PMOing.

 

41 days
Some intensese urges yestarday. My trigger was to still talk with this new girl that I recently met. Maybe my brain still have the connections of sex and porn vere related. Trying to matain that controlled.

Today I worked out (13 km of running) and took a cold shower, after that I made some cleanning to my house and now I'm in the office, to start to work in some pendding tasks.

Keep strong my brothers.

 

Day 3 check in. Days PMO-free in 2022: 189 out of 197.

 

Day 80
Today is a sunny day. My mind is clear . I have little questions about Nightfall.

• Does nightfall weak our body?
• Does Nightfall effect to our muscle growth?

These questions were on my head yesterday. But I couldn't find answers.
Good luck friends!

 

Today I said sorry to the guy who I didn't treat well. It was a nice moment

Btw I want to be a valar now I'm all in the new challenge lol.

 

In my view, it ideally should not. But again depends on your physical state. If your body can't afford loosing semen, that you might see effects of that in form of weakened state.. mostly physical. I had to conserve every drop in my early 20's where I wasn't yet physically developed, it was vital source to my testosterone which was key to my well being, masculinity and confidence. I'd get very nervous and guilty after every relapse. I had to be abstained above 60 days (atleast) to feel any self esteem. These days, abstaining to that extent starts leading to psychopathy and risky behavior.

I think you have the best shot at practicing abstention while you're still young. A and B when you have crossed adulthood and possibly post your 40's. Again Testostereone drops then, you have to start conserving your semen, also a great opportunity to practice abstention.

 

Day 4

 

Day 0
Relapsed yesterday.
Today my goals have shifted from being really productive to simply survive this first day. So I'm just going to really focus on stuff to make me feel stronger and happier.

 

9 days
All good, urges going down again a bit

 

37 days,

I have strange feelings, I may be in the flatline stage, but it may not be true.
I have slight brainfog.

Spent most of the day learning computer architecture and in the evening watched a documentary called "MERU".

Today I will workout and go to the beach

 

Yes it weakens our body and yes it affects negatively muscle growth through undermining our digestive system(as one of many others it undermines too like sleep,nervous,endocrine,skeletal.....in a word-all of them). The best answer is ,of course, your own experience in observing its aftereffects.

 

It is unexplainable from the perspective of one you believe yourself to be. From the believe in separateness and ignorance of the causes. And there is only one cause for everything we experience it is ourselves,our thoughts,feelings, self-definitions. The only thing we meant to control is ourselves,our beliefs and if we try to control others to behave in the way that pleases us then we have set ourselves on the surest way to be unhappy and angry as a self perpetuating state. Just leave others to themselves and be only concerned with controlling yourself in the way that makes you pleased and happy and leave the control over others where it belongs -to God.
...in poker the good play is the right play(=according to probabilities and expected value of actions),not the emotional,greedy,trying to teach someone a lesson or a downright war, and those who play right eventually turn up being a big winners whilst those who fail to control themselves whilst finding different excuses why ,end up as loosers and quitters. It is a good idea to try and get into other people shoes to understand why they are doing what they are doing in the way they are doing. Maybe it would show us that if we were in their shoes we would have done exactly the same thing.