the first time i seriously attempted nofap, i failed. after about 60 days i found out i went through this whole process with the wrong attitude. this time, i know what i need to do. i know what the process means, and what to do better. i don't think i can do this second run without this forum and thread if i am honest. during the droughts, i'll need other objective points of view. points of view i can get here. so far, i have accomplished 1 day. I WILL POST HERE EVERY DAY untill i reach my mark. wish me luck...
Keep pushing you can use this as a motivater to keep on going during Nofap and develop discipline as time goes on.
You can do this OmniCan. What tools do you have to get to where you want to be? I’ll pray for your success.
nofap is NOT a cure-all end-all. when i first tried nofap i focused on counting days and getting a high streak. that's not the root of my problem. it's my shit habits. at some point in your journey (at least in mine) you will feel unmotivated, sad, lame and what not. it can happen even in the later stages (like in the end of the second month, like me). the only thing that can make you move forward is if you really changed - if you are actually trying to be a better person by changing your bad habits. don't wait until day 90 and then start building the new and better you. do it now. mid-journey.
besides my Attitude and experience, i have a day counter, and some good habits to guide me. i do not use a support group, because in my experience (i created one long ago) - people, even in this community, are not dependable. a lot of people are not mature enough to be held accountable, and therefore fail at nofap. when i ask for a meeting at 16:00 gmt+3 time, i am at the meeting (zoom call) 5-10 minutes before time. some people on the other hand, don't even bother answering the whatsApp group when asking for a next meeting time suggestions, or even bother showing up. this is online community, and therefore because no one really knows other member IRL, no one can truly be held accountable (IF SOMEONE THINKS I AM MISTAKEN AND WHA'TS TO SHOW ME THE PROPER WAY TO HOLD ONLINE MEMBERS ACCOUNTABLE, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO). so yhea, it's mostly me, myself and i
this may be a silly question, but have you looked at the accountability partner section here recently? https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?forums/accountability-partners.7/ you don’t need to start one yourself, though I understand joining one started by someone else might feel overwhelming as a prospect. Maybe even a little scary, and that’s ok. There are people out there who want to help you recover. Do you do anything creative? Write? Pottery? Sew? Flower arrangement? Draw? What about physical movement?
first and foremost - thank you for your comment! it shows that you care and i thank you for that. second of all, i recently started a new job that takes up a large bulk of my day out of my house (which is very good for me), and when i have some free time i either study (i am a student) or learning a new language (i recently picked up spanish - because i think it is a very passionate language, kind of like me haha) , or - yes - going for a quick workout session, mostly jogging outside. as for another accountability group, maybe i will join one.... i will give it some thought. i'll update if i will eventually join one.
End of day 4 + 5: i haven't posted here in a while for obvious reasons (relapsing), and for some reason i thought i already posted here for day 4. oh well - i'll just add it to day 5's log. as i stated above i got a new job that forced me to get out of my house a bit more, as well as started a new healthy (besides eating a lot of takeout in my working hours) routine. so far i feel like i am on the right track. perhaps i will join another accountability group like @ekoile suggested - hoping the other accountability groups are ACTUALLY with accountable people. all and all - i am pretty good
Day 6: New routine is challenging, but nothing i can't handle. i try and keep myself focused as well as physically active. today and tomorrow are dangerous days, so i will be out for the majority of the days.
Day 7+8: i didn't post yesterday and it was - NOT!!!! - okay. i came back home super tired from work and just crashed and slept. that being said this recover is LEAPS AND BOUNDS BETTER my previous recovery. i feel like my time has finally come, and all stars in the sky has finally aligned for me. that being said - i am concerned about the weekend though - i am going to find some reasons to get out of the house. i know myself - and staying inside is a huge risk for me. will update how things went... thanks for listening!
OmniCan, thanks for sharing! That's great that you're planning ahead for the weekend. Love the plan to find reasons to be out of the house. Quick question: if/when you are in that moment where you are home and feel that intense urge to watch P, and maybe MO, what is your plan for what to DO with that feeling? In other words, we definitely want to have a plan to try and avoid feeling that urge, AND to have a plan for the urge itself, when the urge floods us. Just wondering if you have plan for when that urge will hit you, if it does this weekend? Great work you're doing! Keep going!
i don't have a plan. which is actually a big problem. it led to a lot of relapses in the past. if for some reason i have to stay inside (like if it's the weekend and it's raining/hailing outside) i am f*cked. thankfully it didn't happen yesterday and today my friend has a birthday (which if truth be told i don't wanna go, but..) - a great way to surround myself with people and making sure i don't relapse. i don't want to rely on willpower because it hasn't worked for me in the past, so... i don't know man.....
DAY 9: urges and wet dreams. thankfully nothing happened either way. still going through my routine, and tomorrow is gonna be a huge relief for me (going outside for most of the day and surrounding myself with other people).
Thanks for sharing. I admire your honesty and self awareness. And I absolutely agree that willpower is not a reliable strategy. I'd encourage and invite you to simply pick a plan for the next time you feel that urge when you are alone. It's good to have a plan to try and reduce urges (being out of the house, staying busy, etc.). But I've also found it essential to have a plan for the urge itself, which will inevitably hit you. Not if, but when it hits you. You'll find a number of strategies in this community: when the urge hits, take a walk, initiate an exercise routine, journal about it, breathe and meditate. I've used a specific strategy for 2 1/2 years that literally set me free. It is a concrete, actionable four-step plan that follows the acronym P.A.T.H. If you want to give it a try, I've recently created a 30-day challenge to implement the plan (the link for it is in my signature). But just pick a plan. Any plan! Try one, see if it resonates with you. And if it's not jiving, tweak or completely switch your plan. If you keep doing this, you'll eventually find a plan for the urge that sticks, and then you won't have to fear that urge any more. You'll actually start looking forward to the urge because it will give you another opportunity to practice your plan and get better at it (at least, that was my experience with my plan). Pick a plan, and try it out, even today!