I've had a week off but not thought much about writing in this. Journaling does help but some days there's not much to say. I'll try to go here regularly even if I don't have much to say
On those days when you have little to say about your life, you can still be helpful to others. You have written some very helpful posts in the past, I look forward to reading more of them.
First major temptation. I can't sleep and thoughts are coming into my head so I'll try to read for a bit
The Bible reading today was psalm 19 and verse 13 stuck out to me Keep your servant also from wilful sins; may they not rule over me. Then I will be blameless, innocent of great transgression.
I need to find something to think about when I go to my bed. I was tired last night but I still had to keep my mind away from smut so I recited psalm 1 but I might try to memorize more passages
I've noticed that I have so much energy now and I need to make sure I'm really tired before going to bed
I've just noticed that I've gone 15 days without PMO. The most challenging time is evening and morning either trying to get to sleep or waking up early
What was happening that made you fall? I have had a few fantasies pop in my head today but replaced them with other thoughts. There's always a progression that leads to a relapse so find where you held on to a fantasy or idea too long and lean from it
https://www.desiringgod.org/six-steps-to-defeating-sexual-sin This is a good distraction if you have the time to listen to it. Start with one video if you don't have time
Just watching the first two videos got me thinking that I need to avoid a café that I went to today that might have fueled my fantasies. Sometimes it can be a small thing that makes a huge difference
I talked to my psychologist on Thursday about my problem with M. Then it could be 2 things what triggered urges: anxiety and the very intense shame I felt before, during and after the talk, or the fact of speaking about M during about an hour. Or both...
Thank you. Does this videos have English subtitles? English isn't my first language and my listening is very poor.
You can watch the same content on YT. I'm pretty sure they have subtitles in multiple languages. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLERE08t1XAC6QrrDKVelydKvSNdcoOsTV
My urges are getting more an urge to have a fantasy rather than fantasies running through my head. It sort of feels like when cartoons get a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other saying different things but it's urges to either fantasise or think about anything else