Hi Bros, For a long time now I've struggled with porn addiction. I had brought the problem up with my gf due to it hitting low lows. Max length for nofap was roughly 90 days. Relapse today. Been reverting the pass 2 weeks. Told my girlfriend about the revert and it took its toll. Really afraid to tell her about the relapse. Very scared bros. Love her very much. What do I do?
update: came clean with gf. She isn't responding. I fear I have driven her from me. I feel disgusting. I feel ashamed. I feel lost. She hates me and doesn't see me as the man she loves anymore. I have a feeling it's coming to end.
Hey, man, you know you had to tell her at some point. Sooner is probably better than later and you couldn't control her reaction. Sucks man...
It's really important that you learn from the relapse and look to new solutions to help achieve a better result. I don't have any advice on saving your relationship. What's done is done. But clearly, what you've been doing in the past has not worked. So trying harder at doing the same thing over and over again will prove to be ineffective. Are you attending a meeting? SAA, SA, SLAA, CR? Are you seeing a counselor? Are you committing to seek out connections IRL and online? Have a plan in place. The more support you have, the better chance you have to learn new strategies to help achieve a better result in the future.
I discussed it thoroughly with the gf. The way I was approached the issue was not that of addiction. It was more like hey here’s an issue… stop doing it. I unpacked and deconstructed what it was that led to a relapse. What were the signs? I addressed the addiction head on. I would consider this forum a support group in a way. I’ve never considered sharing my problems with anyone other than those in my circle. In regards to this I feel like it’s a step in the direction.