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Fapstronaut, Male, from UK
- BigDaawg was last seen:
- Jul 30, 2020
Hi, I am an early 50's guy, a former long-time lurker, and very strong willed yet so far utterly unable to stop secretly surfing for p@rn and PMO-ing - over many, many years (hard to admit that and type it 'out loud' but that is perhaps my first step forward). Annoyed at myself for the hubris: arrogantly thinking that I could do this alone - and failing miserably, utterly fed up with the constant, seemingly eternal secret yo-yo battle of resisting the urge for a day, a week, a month and then relapsing and giving in to PMO, and even more angry at the damage internet p@rn does to my life: ED (self-inflicted I now know and the signal that the PMO choice that I make each time is a really poor one), and the wasted time and opportunities for mental and physical self-improvement and development of my consciousness. I am very lucky, I have a fantastic family, my own home, full health (barring ED!) and fulfilling employment. I need to focus on those cherished things and break the PMO cycle for good. I recognise PMO is extremely bad for me on all physical and spiritual levels and so why can't I just stop? I know some of the 'brain re-wire' answers now thanks to NoFap - and from delving into my past/soul, but I want to learn more and re-program my mind to chase positive and fulfilling pursuits and passions instead of the destructive PMO loop I am currently stuck in.
I am 9 days into a new me, and hoping for support, advice and encouragement from brother Fapstronauts, in return for which I will offer the same non-judgmental, honest support and solidarity to my brothers.