Tho I am not experiencing the "superpowers" that I have read about, I am no longer a slave to PMO, and for that I am grateful.
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Had a very nice plane ride today. Listened to Brian Eno, stared out into the horizon and all my concerns and woes disappeared. Lost myself.
Three weeks in. Libido seems to have evened itself out. confidence, other emotions come and go, nothing stable quite yet, but I'm hopeful.
Consumed by self-pity and hatred. Fun stuff.
Really struggling with sexual compulsion since my libido came back. Sure I am PMO free, but this is not the person I want to be. Help.
Spent the day driving alone for work; mind wandered to objectification fantasy land a lot. Talked to my AP. Read stories. 2 weeks no PMO.
Despite only getting an hour of sleep last night, today I felt more alive than I have in a very long time.
Almost did some fuckboy shit, had to stop myself. Started texting past lovers, excited to know if I stick with this, D and drive will heal.
Well, libido and a strong erection just hit me full force upon waking from a short nap. Craving for real sex, didn't even think about P.
Have to wake up in 4 hours for work. Used to PMO to help me sleep. This sucks.
Lying in bed, can't sleep, so I start indulging fantasies in my head like I used to at night. Strong cravings, can't stop thinking about P.
Last night before I went to bed, I felt totally at peace and in the moment. Can't remember last time I felt like that, hoping for more.
Staying busy, but my balls hurt. Like actual pain in my balls.
Today I blocked all porn sites and deleted my Facebook, but spent the rest of the day alone, being lazy. Today has been one big craving.
7 days in. Still FL. Talked to a hottie today at work and was only slightly awkward rather than painfully awkward. So there's some progress.
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