Yeah the meaning is a good point and goals, but I must say, that was not a big problem for me. But to overcome all the obstacles is another level. I will write you the solution, which I found later. I have much to say about it, but don't have the time right now. That with the women could be truh, but you have to get self-confidence and bro. There's not other way out. You have to get strong, otherwise you can end up as a victim. Day 3.
Day 9. I'm a great believer in trying to understand what need is being satisfied by indulging in ones addiction and come up with a better solution in satisfying that need. Today I'm going to work on that.
@The seeker About the female attention/addiction to female confirmation. What I found is that 2 factors create this: 1. Fear ( that someone finds out that you are not okay, how you are) Deep in your, you think that you are bad how you are. And 2.paradigm - you try to compensate it through female attention/love because you want to please them. And WHY you want to please them? Because you think (point 1) that you are not okay how you are, so if you please others and specialy women, you will get loved and your needs will be satisfied. Fear + paradigm = toxic shame That is just the 2 core points how it is created (often in the childhood). You often believe deep in your unconsciousnes, that you are not okay, how you are. The more you try to please, the more you think often, that you are not okay. Other bad aspects which are created by this list: you make jobs, which you don't like pleasing people trying to be perfect beeing nice never get angry ( a big problem from many men , because they don't want rejected, they try to supress the anger) respecting specialy women beeing different then other men beeing a good worker being the most sensitive guy dress well never offend anyone and so on... Solution: 1.Overcoming the fear of rejection. Ask yourself this: 1.What would you do if you weren't primarily afraid of rejection or if you could no longer avoid disapproval? Make a List, write it down. 2. Take a point from the list and make it. Watch the emotional reaction you have and how are other influeced by you. 3. Talk with confidants. Ask yourself if your actions show that you are a bad person. 2.Put your own needs first. With other words, learn to be egoistic. 1.Put your own needs 1 Week in the foreground. You can start with 1 aspect of your life or better with all. You will get guilt or shame and that's because you learned to please others, but that's just a programm in your brain. In reality you try to please people and specialy women. Learn to think on yourself ,instead to avoid the guilt. 2.Look at your tendencies to fall back again. For example: Helper syndrome and altruism. 3.Reflect your thoughts at the end of your week and your feelings. What for influence does it has on other? 1. Look at the points top and on the first list and ask yourself which of them your are fullfilling. Practise doing the complet opposite. That was realy much to write and I notice now, I have to learn better english.
DAY 60 Now I am more susceptible to dopamine, I love it, now I can enjoy the present moment and it seems that life is smiling at me.
Totally agree, when you are not pleased with your life you try to please others, in many cases you just lose the sense, I think this not only derives from the PMO, but also from the reality of the subject where women are somewhat scarce (really false) and think that by pleasing them you will get a bit of their validation and consequently a bit of love. I used to be like that, I cared a lot about the validation of women (about 2 years ago), but I understood that this is from Betas. Friend, don't worry about your English, I use a translator.
Day 34 I've never realised how beautiful the river across the highway is. The lights around it in the distance are looking like stars. For a moment, I was afraid to lose that beauty. Or more of losing an ability to see it. Because walking around blind while being gifted with sight is something... I don't want to return to. But now I'm not afraid, I know it's always here. One just has to create space within for it.
@Bijuu107 I appreciate what you are saying but I think it's just more of just having an addictive personality. I will always be addicted to something. If it's not sex it's alcohol, if it's not alcohol it will be women etc. I think it's a case of finding a healthy addiction. Talking of which I've even been addicted to exercise.
