TITLE - ORC Last streak - 4 Total PMO - 141 Day- 2 I had another wet dream but I won't fall for urges.
Day 41. I had a rough night. A little disagreement with the wife. She's on vacation and her work friends were having after work drinks and she wanted to go. She made up her mind that she was going and I felt dejected. Mind you she is a night shift worker so she left at 3am to go hang out with her work friends. I was celebrating 100 days sober from alcohol and here my wife was going out to drink. Before she left I was thinking I could watch P when she left to cheer me up, although the thought crossed my mind I didn't act on it and instead just went to sleep. The wife came home only 2 hours later and seemed pretty disappointed about going but I'm glad I made the choice not to PMO under any circumstances.
It's been a rough last couple weeks, but I am now one day clean, and heading to bed soon. Going home for the week, so we will see how things go from there. Best, Mathman1994
Day 26 people, Doing good, procrastinating but overall fine.. It has been long time since I posted a message here on this thread... REBOOT going strong... Especially for the masochistic part.. More to go
Was doing really well despite not posting here for a fortnight - until this Friday where ever since I've been on a binge. Need to start taking this seriously again and will begin by starting to post in this thread again.
Day 11! This means I've tied my longest streak in over 3 years. Looking forward to watching myself grow in freedom even more! I am so tired though--no urges today because I barely had a moment to catch my breath. All sorts of things going on. I'd like to ask, what is meant by fishing? I don't think I understand that term in this context.
@RiseToGreatness That comic was incredible. Thank you for sharing it with us, and for all you do to maintain this thread and this challenge! I don't think we can say it enough.
day 1 - I am a little desperate at the moment. For about four years I've been trying to get free from porn. When I started I didn't have such a strong urge as today. I always say to myself "now I'm going to make it". Then it goes pretty well for a day or two and then there's always some little inattention and I fall back. The overcoming is so small in this moment and I have the feeling as if I am being controlled by someone else. Even if I have a long streak (for me 4 to 5 days) the hurdle is so incredibly small when I fall back. I have the feeling that the decision is made in my head in less than a second and my self is not part of the decision. There is no dialogue between weighing up the pros and cons. In this moment everything happens so fast. I have the feeling I am not my self. I have made my laptop as secure as possible and my cell phone as well. My demon always finds a way around it. And I have no say in the moment. That's how it feels. I have a girlfriend and we have a great relationship. It is unfair to her and all my mind knows the negative sides. I have read books, listened to podcasts and spent many many hours researching on the internet. I have converted a van and want to travel the world with it and earn money from the road. So I also have a why! I can't do this if I don't use my time wisely. But especially in the last weeks I wasted all my free time to not have to work on myself. I run away from that. I do not know the reason yet. I feel guilty and dirty. To abstain only from porn makes no sense for me in the long run, because my why is the factor of time, which I gain through it. It only helps me to get ahead if I completely give up this source of dopamine. I also let myself be distracted by all sorts of things like YouTube, series etc. I know that I have to use this time and I feel extremely bad when I get distracted. However, I still can't get myself together. I can't even get through my training lately. I haven't had any problems with this and I was always relatively motivated in the past. So I will continue to avoid porn and masturbation. I should also try to have a media-free day maybe once or twice a week. Maybe someone in the community has some good advice.
Hello brothers! I was only a tiny hobbit, not fit to resist the urges of the ring.. This Sméagol will however not be turned into Gollum! Unfortunately, I am back from day 20 to day 0. Not too bad for my first try here at NoFap. I felt the urges come and go more frequently throughout the week and the buildup went further in the weekend. Finally masturbated this morning (Sunday), but not to porn (never again to porn). I 'only' did it once and thus reset, not relapsed, and I don't feel bad or ashamed or anything. I will try to master this technique called 'urge surfing' to prevent the buildups of urges over the week in the future. I am now ready, more than ever, to go to the black gate of Mordor and beyond! Good luck to everyone on their journey!
Urge surfing is easier if you can develop your skill at meditation. That's what I would do if I wanted to get better at it. Good goal, to get better at urge surfing. Good luck!
My advice is to set small simple goals that you can easily accomplish each day. The more goals you accomplish the more capable and confident and focused you will feel. Then you will feel stronger and better able to resist your "demon". If you fall, always learn from each fall. What were the circumstances that led to your relapse? Then record your observations. Make a trigger plan to avoid these situations in the future if at all possible.
thank you brother . yes, truthful self talk is a very powerful tool to prevent relapses and stay in the path of recovery. you´re doing great my brother. keep going!!!
You described so much of what I have been through myself, almost to a tee, as they say. When I look back at that time I see that the best thing that worked for me is making myself go straight outside when I get up in the moring without looking at any sort of technology and staying there until midday. Through all the discomfort, the rain, the heat, the chilling wind. Through all of that. Do that everyday for a month. This is a non-triggering environment. Do this a natural environment. A dopamine detox is necessary. If I can do it, so can you! I mean I did not care at all for the consequences of my actions, but I found the meaning of a deeper connection by removing triggers such as I have described. You are capable.
fishing is trying to find triggering material without clear intention. it´s like roaming about in the internet, trying to stumble across something "interesting". it´s still part of the autopilot process, the reptilian part of the brain (midbrain) that addicts have it severely unbalanced.
