Checkin Day 2/30 SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION today. Sore from working out yesterday. Getting easier and easier however, I DO have to semi-actively keep the urges at bay. Dude you ok, wanna pm (private message, NOT the other PM XD )?
This is my first day and I have again failed tonight. My Problem My Problem is my sexual behaviour at night. I become totally out of control of myself. I behave like I am fucking a girl. As a result, my sperm is put out. So, I have taken a big decision. I won't wear blanket from today's night. I know it is going to be so difficult as I temperature in night goes 9 to 10 degree Celsius. Despite this, I won't wear blanket. I believe that if my body don't feel relax ,my brain won't attempt to do any sexual behaviour.
Today was toughest day so far of this streak. Had sexual dreams and spent the rest of the day struggling to resist. Also brain is trying to trick me. "Christmas is coming up, you'll relapse when you've drank, so just put this off until the new year." But made it through, got a few hours of reading before bed but hopefully I will be back tomorrow without having fallen off the wagon. 4/30
Day 7/30, last night I had strong urges to watch porn . I remember giving up to those urges mostly everytime in the past but yesterday I fought so much against my mind. I told myself if you open a porn site just for a second it's over, you're gonna masturbate for sure. I ran to my desktop pc at 11pm and went to the forum and clicked panic mode. I am new here and this was the first time I used that button. I went to a emergency page and I read a long story of a dude -- who overcame PMO and alcohol and weed addiction consistent 120 days. It felt so much better My mind got relaxed and I asked myself. This is hard but this is what I need to get my life together. It's now or never. Today morning I felt amazing like never before. Guys let's do this. Finish this challenge .. fuk porn The story
Sure yeah... I'd finish this 30 day task on Dec 19th but my hardwork needs to stay consistent. Urges are getting stronger everyday
Day 17. Urges hit me at an all time high today. Fought against those urges all day and I'm glad I resisted I feel like I've hit a flatline after those sexual tensions; no libido, loss of energy but no matter, moving forward...