Hey @Pirate3819 !! A big congrats on your 90 days! You are the newest member of the 90 Day Hall of Achievement.
Check in! I think I’m at 250 days. Last week, I had lots of erotic dreams two or three nights in a row. One of them was a wet dream. They came out of the blue. Since then, the temptation to edge has been relatively high, maybe 5 out of 10. I’m staying completely clear of any sort of edging. it seems that ever since I decided not to pursue sexual pleasure as a goal, the temptation to M presents itself as pent up energy, rather than a need to satisfy sexual desire. I’m still processing this new experience. The urge to P is maybe 2 out of 10. I’m actually surprised at how little I want to look at P. Usually that’s a huge temptation, but I just can’t be bothered now.
i think Origen thought so too and ended up chopping his sack off. I hope it doesn’t come to that! I think the passage describes the experience of reorienting yourself. There is a paradox here. The temptation itself is so dear and near to us that it is going to feel as if we are cutting our hand or our eye out when we are confronting it. We can’t imagine our lives without it. But then we realize that life can be richer without it. There are lots of paradox passages in Jesus’s speeches, e.g. give up your home to gain a hundred homes, etc. I think the point of them is to stop thinking of gratifying the self and you will have a new realm of experience open up to you.
Thanks! I’m definitely proud of myself and will continue on this lifestyle changing behavior. I tend to do good doing the winter months with nofap and struggle during the summer. I looking forward towards the spring/summer challenge and making it through it!
Congratulations @Pirate3819 , the three months are one of the most important achievements on this path! It begins to form the habit of living without PM and begins to strengthen our perseverance, even in times of storms! Congratulations again.
The group is currently full but I have added you to the waiting list. It will probably be at least a couple of months before we have an opening for you.
Hope you all have a peaceful and productive weekend. As a reminder to myself I posted this on a sticking note: Think of recovery as a lifestyle, not a challenge. Think of P&M as an addiction, not a necessity.
Fair warning, this is going to be a Jesus-y post, so skip it if you're not into that sort of thing. To me this passage had always been discouraging until a read a book that explains it as Jesus still living under the Old Testament law, trying to help self-righteous people understand how impossible it is to achieve righteousness through our own efforts. So in order to keep God's law perfectly, we would have to remove our senses by chopping off body parts, etc. He is driving them to an extreme so that they will see that the law does not save. He's driving them toward an understanding of the need for a means of righteousness that does not come by the things we do, but by God's grace, given through the sacrifice Jesus would make at the end of his life. Once Jesus died the old law is set aside and our righteousness comes by faith, not by the things we do. This way of reading the passage transforms it into something different -- I can thank God that it is not necessary for me to take such extreme measures, because I live under grace, not law. So instead of seeing ourselves as dirty and sinful (which makes me think I might as well do more wrong, because I've already done so much), we can see ourselves as washed and clean (which makes me think I want to stay clean, because I like being clean). This different theological understanding I've recently come to, that is based on grace rather than trying to rely on my own efforts and manufacture my own perfection, has somehow sunk in over the last few weeks and helped me achieve a longer-than-normal streak that I hope and pray will continue. I feel much more at peace and just feel like I just don't want PMO. It seems like something from the old me. Tomorrow will be 30 days for me and I give credit to Jesus for it.
I M’ed last night. I’ll reset my counter. Not sure what happened. A few nights of insomnia, a little careless with media content. I’m not feeling ashamed or frustrated. I won’t be getting my sash any time soon. I need to think about what happened for a bit. I’ll reset counter when I figure out how to do that.
That was a monumental run you had, I suppose it had to end at some point. I reset this weekend too. I need to figure out how to have more willpower so I can set a better example for you guys. Anyway, glad you are not too discouraged and keeping up the fight.
You turned off your counter for a few days. I had no choice but to remove you. It is a requirement that all members have their counters turned on. I will add you to the waiting list if you would like back in.
Hi all. Checking in. Really sick of PM but ignoring the fight won’t make it go away. Feeling lucky for what I have and keeping going in the right direction.