Hey guys! I'm a 19 year old college student and I've been watching porn/ masturbating since i was 13 for multiple times a day. My girlfriend of 4 years and the love of my life cheated on me. I have her account passwords and last week, before her birthday, i wanted to log in and post a very special pic of us. I read her chats with some senior and the one message that almost blinded me was "I've never seen a hard dick like that. I wanna do it again. ". My penis is pretty damaged... due to 6 years of abuse. I want to change my life. I wanna do better in college. And if she ever comes to my life again , i wanna fk her ( no pun lol). Here it goes, Day 0
Well, it is a routine that I derived from the book The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. There is a crash course on http://www.miraclemorning.com. It basically involves starting your day with S.A.V.E.R.S which translates to Silence(meditation), Affirmations,Visualization, Exercise, Reading (preferably self development books), Scribing (writing in a journal daily). It is a very good way to start the day but requires one to wake up early as the whole routine can take up to 1 hour. I used to do it when I accomplished a 41 day streak but because of complacency and overconfidence followed by a relapse, I stopped doing it. So I am going back to basics and reincorporating the habits that served me well during this streak.
Okay - 2 weeks.... Yesterday I had porn on my mind as I have been listening to a podcast about the porn industry (I know) - but it discusses the effects of free internet porn on people. It's called the "The butterfly effect - by Jon Ronson". The first episode discusses how "porn hub" keyed in our browsing styles to make us more receptive to the content - SEO before SEO was being done... Makes you very aware that we were "programmed" to respond to the content. Made me a little pissed off that I am just like everyone else, and that I fall for their tricks. So, knowing that, I had porn on my mind - and I felt like getting even - I won't turn the sucker on. No more... I will not be a statistic anymore. Screw it. So with that in mind, I went for a 3000m swim and felt great. Onto day 15...
I'm minutes in, and I'm about to burst. It's like the when the dentist tells you not to move but it has the opposite effect and you end up moving 2 times more than you were earlier. I keep having flashbacks, like a soldier fresh out of war, to all past pornos I've seen in my past. I've been trapped in the pornscape for well over 3-4 years, and believe me when I say I've been pretty far down the rabbit hole. But my life has become a mess, and I'm not about to loose it to porn. Has anyone been as far down as I have, is there still hope for me? If so, what did you do? How did you escape the never ending barrage of pornographic thought?
Feeling pretty good right now, but things gonna get harder real soon! I think i'm gonna come here every time it's gonna be too hard to resist!
Day 25 completed ... Was an easy one ... had a nice day ... found out that girls are somehow more attracted to me ...
Day 2- Woke up feeling a little miserable with a headache. Done my miracle morning routine and I am feeling much better.