Day 78, feeling pretty bad again.

Hey man, awesome job on the long streak! What you're going through is normal. I'm also having ups and downs, even now, when I've got two days to 90. And I'm aware that in after the 90 mark, there'll still be ups and downs. Hold strong, and your urges will eventually lessen.
As for remembering old P, I see it as the brain finally working on the process of "taking out the trash" - throwing up old, no-longer-relevant memories. Keep pushing those thoughts away for good, and I expect that they'll eventually stay away.
Good luck!

 

Hey there my circs are identical to yours and I allowed myself back to PMO after 79 days.
All I can say is that I TRULY regretted it and it has taken some effort to start a fresh.
Please, please, please hang on in there

 

Stay Strong ! don' t let the urges overcome You!!!

 

Hey man, remember that rewiring your brain is not a linear process. PMOing isn't the solution for your problems, actually this is a problem of its own and can make everything worse. I hope things get better for you!

 

I'm right behind you and it's driving me crazy too. Maybe the worst part is dealing with thoughts that tell you these 70 or 80 days didn't solve the dopamine addiction and that P was merely substituted with other obsessive activities. I also feel like praying won't help much because God won't help me if I'm craving P, he provides us free will right? Hang in there, we got this!

 

Hang in there bro! I’m at about 50 and things are still shaky with me. Your almost there just keep pushing and keep filling your free time with lots of things to do. Don’t sit around with nothing to do ever. You got this and you will hit 90 days.

 

Strength training, particularly deadlifts can be super taxing on your nervous system. Have you taken a de-load week recently? I also strongly, strongly recommend adding some cardio to your workouts. The benefits may translate over to your heart issues. Also maybe book yourself a massage sometime if you can afford the luxury. Tight muscles are a pain in the ass to deal with!

 

Same here man. Exactly the same symptoms. Hang in there!

 

Those symptoms are very familiar to me

 

Try not to resent the lack of relaxation too much, just step out of the thinking and stories and live in the present as much as possible, we all must try to do so

 

De-load week is meant to last more than 1 day in order for you to fully recover.

 

Do you have underlying depression and anxiety? If so, these symptoms are normal. You have removed daily dopamin fix from your life, now you have to face underlying psych issues and physical withdrawal symptoms. Physical symptoms will go away after 3-4 months and cravings will go away BUT if you have unaddressed psych problems, you will break and return to your old path if you don't seek professional help. PMO has numbing effect, very similar to anxiolytic medication, when you remove it, your stress level will skyrocket and you will end up PMOing again or substitute PMO with new drug of choice. I have had the same problem. Abstention is only first step, enabling you to START with psychological healing.

As for physical symptoms, I get them all when I go cold turkey: anxiety, depression, wild mood swings, chronic headaches, flue like symptoms, insomnia, chronical fatigue. The only thing that helped me was daily exercise. I did running 3 times a week, cycling 2 times a week and weight lifting 2/3 times a week. Being physically active every day was the only way to lower my stress levels, elevate fatigue and physical pain if only for that day. Physical symptoms lifted after 120 days or so, but elevated stress levels didn't go away. My mistake was that I didn't seek professional help and finally break after 180 days. What followed was 8 months of intensive compulsive PMO episode, worse than before no PMO attempt. That's why I don't believe one can address PMO addiction without simultaneously addressing preexisting issues if they exist. In that case PMO addiction is only a symptom not the cause. You can't remove chest pain with painkillers, hoping that your underlying heart problems will just go away.

 

Thanks, your experience was really helpful. Mine is very similar, physical withdrawals ended at day 150\180, but now i'm dealing with my psychological situation.

I just don't agree on searching professional help. I've been to a psychologist years ago, and honestly that was just a complete throw of money, yes, it was a little helpful, but if you're fucked up bad they just can't help, and you (I) can't afford 50 euro per hour a week for a year.

My solution is t just keep going with no pmo.

 

I had similar experience with psychologist in the past, having no idea what she was doing, saying just snap out of it, take anxiolytics in combination with antidepressants and everything will be fine. I'd be anxiolytics (benzodiazepines) addict if I'd follow her advise because I really, really like them. They gave me total peace of mind and perfect I don't give a f.. about anything attitude. I stopped taking them because I know myself that much that if I stayed on this stuff, I'd be hooked forever.

After 4 failed attempts to give up PMO on my own (lasting 90, 120 and 180 days), I'll seek professional help once more after abstaining for 90 days. I'm gonna join group therapy based on Patrick Carnes program (In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior), focused especially on PMO compulsive addictive behavior. It can't hurt, God knows I've tried dealing with it alone for 19 years and failed miserably.