Relapse... Nothing is going good in my life...i feel numb.. I think i cannot achieve anything in my dumb life Fuck
Thanks for the advice! I am still reeling today but with slightly better energy levels. I hope I am productive. I will have to be extra vigilant and take short naps here and there when I can.
That is your porn self talking. You know that at the core that is not who you are. Self-pity will get you nowhere. I know that for a fact. I have been in self-pity mode for years and guess what, it has left me stuck. Rather, I have regressed. There are things that you have accomplished in life no matter the size. This is your porn self talking so that you can feel deep shame and continue to give it what it wants. There is a sober self within you. It is powerless at the moment because you are empowering the porn self every single minute, every single hour. Empower your sober self by going just an hour without porn then the next hour then the next. Break down your journey into smaller units like hours instead of days. Freedom is earned minute by minute, hour by hour. I read an article that mentioned that when one is compulsively addicted to porn, the prefrontal cortex of the brain is weakened substantially to a point where will power becomes extremely deficient. Some say the prefrontal cortex is the CEO of the brain. To strengthen it so that it functions at an optimal or even higher level, meditation is recommended. Personally, I am not adept at meditation. I am struggling with it but I do it for at least 5 minutes daily and must say it is very helpful. Research on meditation and find a technique suitable for you. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result is as you know not going to get you anywhere. Change something and it doesn't have to be 'nuclear' big. I suggest you read books like The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer or Atomic Habits by James Clear that encourage taking very small actions but once compounded over a period of time will lead to very big changes. I think one of the 'myths' our society propagates is to make radical changes in a single leap, a quantum leap of sorts. It may work for a few 'exceptional' people where the pain of rock bottom is too much to bear. However, for the rest of us 'mere mortals' small change is better and even longer-lasting than making that radical leap.
Thanks a lot for the support . I will not stop, thanks for reminding me my goal to improve as a person.
36/365 10% of the way there.. 10% better than I was before. Can't believe I've made it this far. To everyone struggling right now, keep moving forward. Even if you've just relapsed, stand up, brush the dirt off, and keep moving forward with the same momentum you were. I know it hurts, but this journey is about how much you can take and still keep moving forward in spite of your pain. Keep it up everyone. I'm proud of each and everyone of you.