Where are all the guys who would do whatever it takes to make it to the next clean day?

Yeah I survived 5 days then relapsed it was bad man I have high anxiety and depression and mood swings I think I need to go see a therapist because my porn addiction ain’t going away

 

Estoy pasando por lo mismo, solo necesitas un poco de paciencia.

 

No pain No Gain! Im also intetested to here others extreams to stay clean...

 

I quit a lucrative 20-year career in IT to become a plumber, so that I could get away from sitting at a computer all day. I left computers and smartphones behind for about two years. I took a 60% pay cut while supporting a family when I did this (with my wife's knowledge). I have not recovered this lost income and I likely never will.

It was one of the best decisions I ever made. This bold move catapulted me into a 9-month streak. That was the beginning of my recovery. I have zero regrets about doing so.

 

For me, it was opening up about it. I set streaks for myself before, but they didn't really work. I set up a reward/punishment system even but even after that I grew lax.

I decided to join NoFap and actually tell people about my problem, since that's something that I'm still too uncomfortable with to tell the people that I actually know IRL. I haven't reset since. I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

 

I have bipolar 1 disorder, no job only 1 mate, no contact with family accept of 1 brother and his wife. And the people I see at church.. I feel lonely and bored at times. I feel isolated, many insecurities..
I have started working out a few days a week. Focusing my energy on getting stronger and living more healthy. But it is still really hard to not look at pornography.
Getting a job would be great but isnt an option at the moment..
I use my phone to look at triggering videos and relaps every week until now.. its realy a visious circle, how can I break it? I thought of using an oldschool mobilephone. But I need access to the internet.
I think I need to reward my brain more in a healthy way instead of P.
How do I realy get started to streaks of 30 or 60 days?
Can anyone give me a piece of advice to realy get started?

Thanks!

 

I use accountability software on all my devices, and it has really been a help to me.

 

Thanks for the reply. Who is holding you accountible?

 

I have a group of APs, many of whom I have met from this site. I add to the list all the time. If you want to be part of it, shoot me a DM any time!

 

Yes I'd like to man!

 

What is a DM?

 

A Direct Message. Click on my name and then click "Start Conversation." Talk to you soon!

 

Well to start I think it's good to establish that what we're willing to do is secondary to the quality of willingness itself. When someone is really willing then they themselves may not need to know what it is they have to do, but when they come across it they will be able to do it.

And yes, while the reset posts comes from honesty I think we need to distinguish between honesty and vulnerability, and even the wisdom to know going into some detail is where we can do better going forward. Anything less seems to serve little more than a function of confession.

For me, it's not a matter of what I'm doing to not relapse at this point, because I'm just too busy dealing with the challenges in life. Because of that I am not going in the other direction of numbing out with PMO. I'm also not thinking in terms of not relapsing because I'm not thinking of relapsing as an option, I'm thinking about ways to take care of myself and not spread myself too thin, but that has to do with everything else I'm taking care of rather than not doing this one thing.

If we're going to think about it in terms of a fight, I'd say if you're engaged in a bigger fight of what you're dealing with in life then that's kind of already including not PMO'ing. It's like there's the fight in the ring so to speak, and the fight of what that fighter does in their life to train, and all the challenges in their life that they fight against. And it doesn't even mean the fight in the ring is a big time event, maybe it's just at a local gym so it's a small part of their life. The point is there's that willingness to deal with ALL of it, not just that one part of their life - which for people here just happens to be PMO.

So it's basically willingness taken all the way, with all of life. Rather than just made up challenges of whatever kind, life already presents plenty of challenges - and we can be willing to accept all of those. That's when it becomes a way of life rather than just a reboot process.

 

I get very frustrated reading a lot of the posts on this site and seeing all the low number counters (yeah I know mine is not that high - but it will be). It seems like NoFap (which I am very grateful to have - don't get me wrong) provides an outlet for some people to toy with the idea of quitting or pretend to be quitting while actually constantly making the decision to relapse (I was there). If you actually want to quit and decide to quit you would be doing everything in your power to make it happen. I don't see that here. I recently made a post suggesting that people should remove the temptation by cancelling internet service and getting rid of their cell phones. It went over like poo flavoured ice cream. Someone who is actively trying to quit is going be making major lifestyle changes to make this happen (like Tao-well done). Because it is a lifestyle choice.
Exercise, diet, nature connection, medical help, therapy, 12 step, rehab, building a community of supporters and accountability partners, studying books and videos, journalling every day. Doing the work. Yes you have to tough it out through some hard urges, but in the long run it's about doing the work and making lifestyle changes.
If you aren't doing the work then you are not truly willing to give up the Porn. It is more valuable to you than the life you could have without it.

 

I cut this thing from the roots: No PSubs.