Question to those who have achieved more than 3 months PMO...

permanently change things such as....?

 

I completely disagree with this: "Maybe the way is not so much about removing the comfort blanket, but changing our life around so the blanket is no longer needed?".

Human nature addiction isn't always about changing life so we don't need a blanket. If your brain is addicted to certain pleasure, changing your lifestyle won't help unless you change your brain to keep it off from certain things it wants all the time. It's called abstaining. Even if an alcohol addict goes to the gym and plays sports every day, which is a lifestyle change, it won't make any difference to his/her addiction to alcohol.

Majority of people had jobs, contacted their family, spent the time with friends, though it doesn't help much if you are on PMO.

I would recommend you fella to simply follow NOFAP Normal mode or Hard mode. Don't make your brain trick you into thinking that changing lifestyle will help. Because end goal for brain of a fapper is to receive dopamine in any means. So do NOFAP and then do lots of life-changing actions.

 

I disagree. You need to combine lifestyle changes with the mentality of nofap. I relapsed in the past many times because i was bored and didnt have much to do. I wasnt occupied so all i was thinking about was fighting the urge.

The past 2 days i have been really busy. Yesterday i spent the day w a girl i only met a few days ago and that put me outside my comfort zone. Its the first time i can honestly say i didnt think about porn the entire day and genuinely didnt want to watch it.

Porn and alcohol addictions are similar, but are not the same. If you go to the gym or play sports, yes, maybe if you have an alcohol addiction it wont change much. But for porn thats different. It very much works on energy. If youre really tired the urges wont be as strong, or non existent.
Any lifestyle change thats good for you that takes your mind off porn is amazing for recovery. You just need it to be drastic enough where you no longer have the time or energy for pmo

 

You have a good point. In my case, i have to stay occupied or i`ll go back to pmo..

 

Very true. Abstention is just that abstention, not recovery. If you only remove "the blanket" and everything else stays the same, stress will build up and you'll break eventually and relapse. There is a medical term for this it's called "ego fatigue". When anxiety becomes to great to bear and your motivation to fight drains you return to your old ways.

You're right, we need to find balance in our lives. Most of addicts suffer from some form of unresolved underlying issue causing them pain and void/gap in our "souls". PMO is just our drug of choice to self-medicate that pain.

Abstention from addiction is prerequisite (first step) to recovery unfortunately. Addictions are deep learned behaviours (behaviour on autopilot it you will). The only way to stop deep learned behaviour it to abstain from it and focus on building new healthy coping behaviours and transforming them into habits by constant repetition (two months minimal).

I just wrote about this topic in my journal yesterday, I'll copy paste it for you:

How to BREAK ADDICTION CYCLE:

Origin of addiction = PAIN -> Agent to self-medicate/ease and numb the pain and void = PMO/ALCO/DRUGs/FOOD/PHONE (drug of choice) -> it's TEMPORARY ANESTHESIA -> When effect wear off we face the CONSEQUENCES -> feeling of SHAME/GUILT/LOW SELF WORTH cause PAIN again -> RELAPSE PMO/ALCO/DRUGs/FOOD/PHONE
… round and round it goes on never ending cycle (hamster wheel)

Our drug of choice releases dopamine, oxytocin & vasopressin which mask and numbs our emotions (PAIN) -> dopamine imbalance creates anxiety/depression/other withdrawal symptoms on top of the pain created by a the things you're trying to hide from.

Only YOU can break the cycle. No one's going to save you.

Knowledge is power -> 1) LEARN all about addiction -> 2) Turn what you know into what you do (ACTION)!!!

When you've stopped the cycle (abstain), you need to deal with the root of the problem (PAIN):
1. Face your fears/trauma -> seek professional help if needed
2. Accept your emotions -> you will be overwhelmed by uncomfortable and painful emotions. You have to be patient and prepared to suffer, it takes time to heal
3. Self-worth -> the quickest way to rebuild your self-worth (self-esteem) is by self discipline & serving others (being kind and helping people) -> WE'RE HERE TO SERVE OTHERS
4. Train your mind -> your mind can be your biggest enemy but it can also be your greatest friend (5-second rule -just do it / self discipline is uncomfortable)
-> mind is like any other muscle. It can be trained by meditation, yoga, WIM HOF method, diet, exercise etc.
-> you have to become master of your own mind
5. Illuminate your shadow -> work towards being the best version you can be. The most authentic version of you (positivity/kindness/help).
-> work towards being mentally, physically and spiritually the best person you can be
6. Energizing your body and mind -> diet (you get out what you put in), exercise, meditation/prayer

You don't find yourself, you RECREATE YOURSELF-> it takes SELF DISCIPLINE, COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY (intent reveals desire, action reveals commitment )

 

In my opinion, this is the problem that almost every person on nofap has. The recurring theme is anxiety/feeling worthless causing an addiction. But instead of treating the cause of the addiction, they use nofap to treat the addiction.

 

In a lot of cases people pick up addictions as a matter of chance not due to any underlying pain or cause. I starting smoking because a friend said try it it’s cool. I wasn’t stressed depressed or whatever - it was a wrong decision in an instant in time...

A lot of guys started masturbating out of curiosity during changes at puberty - again not to self medicate due to a hidden pain...

A lot of these addictions are matters of chance moments - but yes there are those cases where addictions are self medicating- I’m just saying it’s not all..

 

Agree 100 %, I was one of those people. It takes time to realize and admit to yourself that you have a deeper problem. Addiction is "a disease" of wounded soul. It takes guts to confront your fears you've been trying to hide from. Some of us for far, far too long. I have only respect for anyone who has the guts to accept the pain and step on the road to recovery.

 

Some people here didn't get what my post was about.

 

We need motivation to permanently change things in our lives so that we have an amazing career, friends, family life that we all dream of. Yet this motivation is taken from us by FAP. I know many people who did life-style changes to make their life better; Yeah it makes a little better, yet still, FAP is part of you, so what has changed?! Nothing. It's an illusion. NOFAP must be combined with some other new things so that your brain has something to keep itself and its dopamine busy with.

 

Considering I did nofap on and off for almost 3 years and nothing changed (other than making me very sleepy and horny all the time), I think Fenix Rising is correct because my experience reads the same as his blanket quote. I think it's more unhealthy to go long periods without a release although masturbating to porn is obviously the worst thing, should only be through having sex.

 

I didnt say just do NOFAP and thats it. NOFAP needs to be combined; just doing life-style changes wont help.
Of course you will feel horny if you do nofap on and off for almost 3 years.( You arent consistent in this case).
Think how Taoist monks do semen retention without affiliating with women, and living alone in their own community. If they can do it without being horny and sleepy, how come others cant.

 

"instead of treating the cause of the addiction, they use nofap to treat the addiction." - this line is funny. What I said was simply paraphrased back to me.
NOFAP is itself the treatment for FAP, it means NoFap (abstention from FAP, as I mention "abstention on the above post"). It should be NO-PMO.

Please before replying to my post, simply read it carefully. Though it's all up to you my friends and fellas. After two weeks of my first ever NO-PMO, I totally forgot about PMO, and didnt even think to come back. Thus after 1 month of calendar marking I stopped marking it, cuz knew it's gonna be part of my lifestyle and wont have an end goal.

 

If nofap works for you then great. I'm just saying that nofap actually made me more passive and it's used to treat porn addictions which are caused by anxiety/feeling worthless. So, in my opinion, if you treat the anxiety the porn addiction will go away.

 

I hope people will abandon this degenerate and soul-sucking addiction, please don't give up and keep fighting. I need you all healthy and without addiction. Porn industry is making billions of dollars from keeping us, addicts.
If you need success stories and help just read about them over and over until your brain realizes the damages it causes and makes you decide to stop it.

 

How about those with girlfriend and with a wife who does fap??
Also I know lots of people who never fapped and watched porn, still have anxiety/feel worthless.

I want to hear your opinion on this, it will help me spread the message

 

I don't understand what you mean "people who never fapped and watched porn"? In my opinion, people who have anxiety have a addiction as a pleasureable escape from the anxiety, that doesn't necessarily mean a porn addiction. What I discovered almost by accident, is when you experience the fight or flight response from a panic attack, you regress. If you artificially activate it and don't experience any panic during it you develop. This method has cured me of severe agoraphobia.
https://journals.lww.com/neuroreport/Abstract/2009/08050/Swearing_as_a_response_to_pain.4.aspx

www.web.archive.org/web/20190805030837/https://journals.lww.com/neuroreport/Abstract/2009/08050/Swearing_as_a_response_to_pain.4.aspx

"The observed pain-lessening (hypoalgesic) effect may occur because swearing induces a fight-or-flight response and nullifies the link between fear of pain and pain perception."