Day 4, daily check-in. Liked all the posts that i can. I had a wet dream tonight, M 2 times on the dream, that was so real that i think that was real life, but not, i'm clean, i didn't watched any porn. For some reason, my vision on my wet dreams are always white.
It has been a rough couple of days for me with shame rearing it's ugly head once again due to financial loss. It's now that I have been able to muster up two days of freedom after a relapse and subsequent binging. This has been a tough Sunday with urges starting to peak. I feel so helpless.
CLXXXIII. I'm halfway through, which is unbelievable. I did it, one day at a time, resisting urges and controlling myself. This summer has been the most productive in my life. I haven't fapped since the 9th of June, and haven't visited a porn website since April 23rd. That doesn't mean I didn't come across sexual content since then, watching films for example, but the difference is colossal. When you watch a film you are witnessing a portrayal of reality, like when in Titanic Rose is seen naked in front of Jack. Porn is nothing but fiction. Keep that in mind, and stay strong fellas!
Day 60. The couple of days didn't go so good, i had lots of urges and searched up escorts and actually messeged one of them to ask if they were avaliable, but didnt visit. I have also watched porn but did not PMO. I MO'd to releave myself. As a goal i will be doing Hard mode for the rest of the year and beyond in this challange. I can do it. I can do it. I will write if i look up anything sexual related on the internet.
It's good to have you back on board out of the shark infested waters that harm your dopamine receptors. Try keeping a gratitude journal and focus on your well being goals you desire for yourself. Actually imagine you have reached your goals and work backwards to see what you needed to accomplish them. Lasly check posts about 20 day/30 day etc benefits of NoFap.There are many on youtube too.
Thanks for the encouragement and the worthwhile tips to get back on track. I got some comical relief when you said 'shark infested waters'...hehe. They are indeed! I feel a lot better at this moment.
3 days down I am in a much better mental disposition at the moment than the previous day. Yesterday, I was even questioning my own existence and the purpose of my life. It's funny how deep-seated shame can cause such momentary delusions just because I made a bad decision and lost some money. Today, my thinking is much more clear and I am able to have better insight into the situation and how I can learn from this. I have a lot of inner work to do though.
Day 23/50 no pmo This is crazy. I just fixed our DVD player with a piece of earbud after removing the screws and getting to the electrical components. Confidence to take on new difficult challenges without thinking I will fail, is what I have now and it is awesome! Whatever next?