I made it to 30 days of no PMO

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to share that I made it to 30 days of no PMO. Below is a list of what's helped me get to this point:

• Joining a weekly accountability group on nofap. It's very liberating to share my feelings and struggles in a safe space where I'm not judged.
  
  
• Having an accountability partner that I met on the nofap forum. It's nice to check in with each other and offer support when we're struggling with our addiction or when life gets hard.
  
  
• Trying to incorporate good habits such as exercising, writing in journal, meditating, etc. into my daily routine and creating a habit chart to measure my progress.
  
  
• Taking cold showers in order to prevent myself from relapsing and also as a consequence when i relapse. You need to have a consequence otherwise there is nothing stopping you from relapsing.

Lessons learned so far:

• There is no shortcut to recovery and there is no one magic solution such as a popup blocker to stop your addiction. You have to figure out whats effective for your recovery and it might be multiple things.
  
  
• You can't expect instant results or that you'll go on a long streak after a few attempts at recovery. If you do, you're setting yourself up for failure which is what I learned after failing in my recovery many times. You have to apply many things for your recovery and you can't give yourself a end date on when you want to recover, that creates a lot of stress and pressure for you to meet that goal.
  
  
• Enjoy the process of recovery. In my journey for recovery, I learned new things about myself, my emotions, my relationship with my family, and events in the past. I also learned what is effective for me in terms of my recovery. I also learned that I enjoy meeting my goals and seeing the results of it. The more I view my recovery as a journey of self discovery and learning and not as something I'm ashamed of and need to get rid of right away, I'm noticing better results and also more strength to resist the urge to PMO.
  
  
• Consistency. In order to change or get rid of a habit, you have to create new ones. The choices you make on a daily basis helps you build a strong foundation for long term success. By saying yes to porn you say no to working out, socializing with friends, learning about a subject you're interested in, personal growth, etc.
  
  
• Positive momentum. Set small goals and as you gradually meet your goals, set bigger goals. By creating and starting a positive momentum, it'll lead you to accomplishing bigger goals.
  
  
• Hate to use a cliche, but one day at a time. Don't focus or think about the past such as how many days of no PMO or how many times you relapsed in the last few days. Don't focus or think about the future such as trying to be PMO free for 30 days or 90 days.
  
  
• Consequence. Having a effective consequence such as a cold shower has been helpful for me. You need to find your effective consequence.

Of course all of this won't work if you don't do it consistently and you don't hold yourself accountable. Hopefully what I shared is helpful to anyone reading this.

 

Thank you for the kind words bro. I hit many rock bottoms, and the most recent rock bottom was a few months ago when i had an argument with my fiance. I temporarily moved out of the place we shared to my parent's place. When there I relapsed multiple times with PMO. I started to realized that the issue isn't her, but much deeper with myself. I also realized that porn isn't what I want and what people make it out to be. It isn't fun and it doesn't make me feel free. Instead it controls me and makes me do things I regret and deeply ashamed of. I continued to think and reflect, I discovered that I had a lot of anger towards myself and I'm in a vicious cycle with myself. Because I feel shame and regret with porn, I get angry with myself which lowers my self esteem, and drives me deeper into my addiction.

During my time alone, I started looking more inward and realized there is still a lot of unresolved traumas that I need to process. I also discovered whats held me back and continues to hold me back and make me feel unmotivated was the unhealthy habits I've developed since I was kid. I can blame my mom, but I'm an adult now and need to take responsibility otherwise I'll be an unhappy individual who will be at the mercy of my emotions and cravings.

Long story short, solitude helped me think and what I want to move forward.