From a dark wormhole to an IIT

Hey there,
I've been doing nofap from a a very long time (3-4years) but recently learnt about this website nofap from reddit .. so I decided to write my whole journey here
Let's start from the very beginning
...(little bit of intro)
I'm 17 now , currently studying at IIT-B (IIT BOMBAY) in CSE (comp. sci. branch) transferring to MIT(Massachusetts institute of technology) Comp sci. program next year ( atleast hoping to in this covid-19 situation) and
scored an international rank of 37 in IMO (Int. Mathematics olympiad)...
HOWEVER...(U can start reading from here ..the intro is crap XD... I'm a pathetic writer)
Though I was scoring good grades initially during my school exams after some time when I entered 8-9 th grade I was introduced to PORN by my friend...And believe me...It was the worst part of my life(till now )
From 10min per day to 2-3 hours per day...it soon became a habit more of a compulsion...my grades fell from A to C ...I even had to appear for supplement for my 9th grade...
Then something struck me like..those lightning moments in ur life when something just hits u at full speed and u just can't give any explanation that was going on with me...
I literally left porn mast. those pornographic games hentai all those...in just those 2 sec seriously even I'm writing this... I still can't explain but the feeling was tremendous...I gave up everything...
Now the recovery part

Initially it was hell...I would constantly reach for my phone even a magazine would provoke...
But something miraculous happened around 30-45 days streak...all those feelings cravings just go around and u start to feel more present....With time I developed an interest in Mathematics...in order to divert my mind...would do calculus whole day... and went on to get a prestigious seat at IIT BOMBAY ...

I know it might seem overwhelming what I've written (read scribble) Honestly I'm kind of suck at writing these
But yeah...If can You can too...
Would love to write more such ones (With a structured approach next time)

Ps.
Ignore gram. errors typos lack of structure I just spilled everything that was in my head

 

There is no bad writing here. Journals can be off the top of your head. Good luck in your math course. MIT sounds likeawesome fun. Enjoy

 

Great work! I advize you, however, to not give out details of your university/course etc. Beter to be cautious.
Thanks for your story.

 

Initially I had the same thought but then decided so that people can realise that there's still hope and time to recover, would keep in mind next time , thanks..!

 

I would like to add a couple of things here, when I was struggling with addiction , I would still got those solutions correct however it all would seem fuzzy , which naturally got cleared out after some time, in other words, We all have those secrets talents inside us whether we believe it or not , but gets blurred in the mind with all these negativity around us ..

 

Its nice that people are now more aware about this situation, when I started on my journey my classmates mocked me by saying I was impotent (you know such stuffs). The society is based on instant gratification these days ...
Nice to hear from you...all the best on your journey...

 

Since you are struggling(like all of us)... I'd like to add some points regarding that

A daily cycle of an addict is like this
1) Craving
2) Find something to get rid of craving
3) Drugs/alcohol/porn
4) Guilt
5) Craving
6) Loop

When you understand this , You can try to break it like this... atleast what I did when I was in 9th

1) Craving
2)Say no to ur dopamine addicted brain = willpower
3) Feeling of self-respect
4) Willpower+1
5) Craving
6) Willpower is now more strong so much more chances
7) Feeling of self respect again
8) willpower+2
9)loop

As you can see (I tried to make it look like a classical loop code to make it readable)
Initially it's tough..but after some time willpower and self respect grows to such an extent that You simply reach a stage where you will be presented porn by yiur mind but you will be easily clearing it off

But , Still initial stages are the most hardest part... imagine a giant wheel rolling down a hill... hardest part is to get it rolling....

I hope this helps...see yaa...!