Problems with girls

do you approach women? it really doesn't matter what you look like, you can look like brad pitt if you don't make something happen nothing is ever gonna happen.

I don't think i'm ugly and i am 6'3" but i am in the same situation as you are. Looks and height probably do help if you approach her. but as long as you don't approach her it doesn't matter. Don't think women ignore you because you are short or whatever.

No woman is ever gonna come up to you and show interest and especially not attractive women. (Unless you are super famous)

The way to handle this is just talk to every girl you find attractive and if they don't seem like they enjoy your presence you move on to the next one. Don't take it personal.

I know this is so much easier said than done. I am working on my fear too.

good luck

 

To be honest I wouldn't want to date you myself because of how desperate and not confident you come across. + let me ask you something: would you be interested in dating a woman who is miserable and blames all men for that state? Or would you feel kind of uncomfortable around her?

 

To tell you the truth I myself have never been with a girl as in a relationship. That doesn't really concern me though. Like I wouldn't mind having a gf but it's not like a life goal to me + most young girls are idiots (same for young men lol) so I know I could look hard and eventually find one that I would like but I also realise how much time that would potentially require so I am just not concerned with that. At least not yet. I have bigger fish to fry at the moment.

And confidence seems to be something unconscious. Not something you can turn off and on by telling yourself: "be confident". It apparently doesn't work that way.
Btw I used to be very shy as a teenager so I kind of have an idea how you feeling.
It stopped when I stopped caring about these things and just accepted that oh well some people are just shy myself included so what. Then over time I was somehow becoming more and more confident. Just like that. I can't explain the process but basically I didn't do anything fancy to grow in confidence, I just got on with my life and just lived it. Eventually I became confident enough that I didn't even remember what is was like to be shy. Like I remember the things I was afraid to do, things to say etc but now that I look at it I don't really know why I wasn't doing these things (you know, talking to people casually without being scared etc.)

My advice would be that you chill and accept that you are just a shy person and be cool with that. Because in reality no one actually cares whether you are shy or not.
I mean for instance let's say you want to chat with someone and as you start getting their attention they can clearly see that you are shy because you don't even try to hide it. So what? It's not like the earth will open up and the lightning strike you dead. It doesn't matter to anyone at the end of the day.

 

your problem exists only in your head, but the direct consequence of your thoughts is that people around you, especially women feel your weakness, feel that you aren't confident about yourself, so automatically they think if you don't love yourself, how can they do it?

 

tune the Smart, transform it into a Mercedes.

 

You are concerned about things that don't matter, that is the problem.
Trust me, no one cares how tall you are and also you rrrrreally don't want a beard. It needs to be shaved very often and it's not an enjoyable task tbh.

 

spontanuous advice: the only chance you (and anyone) has is to love yourself NO MATTER WHAT! it sounds strange but thats the way it works... if you dont love yourself, and somehow you find a girlfriend (and i think same for girls) you gonna suck out the energy of the other as you need constant approval and the love of the girl and you cant give nothing... thats why girls run away from that... love is to give, both should give, no one should take... you need to love yourself how you are RIGHT NOW, with all shortcomings and this love will then help you to grow and get better... of course bad looking (if you really are like that) is not helping but its not everything, more important is your mental state... girls want self confidence (because self confidence, self love will also improve your skills, your sex whatever) however you look like, and it is a good thing, we as human species wouldnt be here if our ancestors werent thinking like that.. and if you dont find a girlfriend (not now), you have your SELF RESPECT, and are not miserable and have a sense everyday.... and then again this will lead to attraction from girls... and also important that you accept the rejection, there always will be one (maybe also unjustified but its too accept)...

man i was nearly the same mental state, but when i stopped caring, when i started accepting my weaknesses (not that i didnt work on them you know (but thats often the case when you dont accept them) but accept that they exist and dont feel bad about them) only then i got girlfriends... its counterintuitive but ask the men who are good with girls...

succesfull people in life generally (not just one skill) work hard, yes, but DONT make their self worth dependent on their succes (if you do that you can be good in one thing, but not life in general), they are NOT DESPERATE (though if, that is also to be accepted) and then things GO EASY... then girls feels: ok this guy is in FLOW STATE...

 

You must love yourself for who you are. And that is the most difficult thing to do. In fact, no one I know really loves him- or herself completely. It is a process of discovering your judgements and letting them go.
Reading your own opening post there are already so many self-judgements. Letting go of these ideas is what you will learn in your life. Start meditating or mindfulness, learn to see your thoughts and ideas from a distance and learn how to release them. Then you will start on your journey to self-realization.
The girls you meet will probably be a pain in the ass for you. That's how it works. Relationships are very much about mutual pain on the spiritual level. The more you learn and become conscious of your ideas and judgements, the better your relationships will be. Good luck.

 

thats the point you need to like yourself with all your flaws, then you are confident, then you are more attractive, you are more happy, you work easier on flaws, more attraction = FLOW STATE

you MUST NOT say: aha when i have this or that, than i like myself... because the nature of this is that youre never gonna like yourself because you are never enough (i did the same mistake often, until today)

when you were a baby, have you been mercedes on day one? you couldnt walk, eat, but you did not (could not) hate yourself for that...than also a lot your flaws isnt your fault (family, wealth, education, things happened to you, traumas, etc) but you need to work on what you HAVE ALREADY

 

True man,

Dont overrate looks. I've seen really attractive girls with guys who are not that good looking (how society thinks good looking should look like anyway)

You be more happy if you find yourself a girl you have this emotional connection with. This is so more important! Even in sex!

If you don't feel confident about yourself work on it. Girls feel it...

Accept who you are how you look. Put the energy in things you like to do! Don't focus too much on finding a girl and losing virginity.

Do things that give you energy, you'll see one day you may bump into this girl unexpected?

 

Hey ! 21 yo male here... and still a virgin...
I think you're still hooked on PMO and you may need some more time away from it to get some clarity of mind and really understand that having a girlfriend is not going to bring you a happy life, having a girlfriend is a supplement to a good life.
Women don't care about looks the trick is to just be funny to be around with, be social and don't hesitate to make a move.
Crack jokes, make funny comments on what's happening around you etc...
That requires self-confidence, self-confidence might sound like some unreachable goal but it really isn't.
The only way you can acquire self-confidence is through experience, go out and experience life, do a parachute jump, work, play an instrument etc...
Stay strong we believe in you !

 

Just a minute. How can you know what girls like if you're a virgin?
To say people don't care about looks is daydreaming lol.