Before you read this, know that the following content may be triggering, and you should leave now if you can't handle it at the moment. Nobody wants your relapse on their hands. Please be considerate and smart. A big problem people have with quitting pmo, is being triggered by a lot of things, but specifically inappropriately dressed people. My questions are, what do you consider inappropriately dressed? Do you think that location/context is relevant (like at a pool or the beach?) This is for both men and women. A lot of the time this conversation focuses only on how how women should dress, and that leaves men thinking they're off the hook, or just not knowing how they should dress. Please try to keep your replies non triggering.
The women in Ireland wear smelly woollen jumpers old jeans and willies so im safe. I stay in the country and I rarely see anything interesting this is the best defence.
This is actually quite an interesting topic you've put up. I beleve it's manly charm that really turns women on compared to a bodybuilder in a boykini. Should we then stop being facinating?
I think attraction and lust are two different things, and it depends on what you mean by manly charm, but I'd like to hear the opinion of some women too.
Intellegent sense of humor delivered with a soothing voice and hypnotic gestures. Knightly courage and presence of an emperor. And warmth towards the needy. A natural tendency to lead men towards greatness and steal any women's heart.
As a man, I only feel attracted to a woman I can lust for. I just don't get this whole attracted as a friend thing. I think it's the same in the case of women.
Hmm. Okay. Here's my perception of this situation as a woman. Women aren't really trained to ever find men's bodies erotic, in my experience. Though I am not attracted to females, I never saw a man dressed sexually and thought "i must relieve myself right now"... though similar reactions occurred when seeing a woman dressed in revealing clothing. Especially if men were touching or looking at her. Still, anyone's objectification of his/her own body attracts the same attention from others, regardless of gender. A female dressing herself that way seems like she is personally threatening my value as a woman. The men lusting after her tell me that she's winning.
Thanks for sharing your very insightful perspective. This does not clarify it completely. If I connect 'threatening my value as a woman... she's winning' with 'similar reactions occurred when seeing a woman dressed in revealing clothing...', it seems like your empathizing with what the other woman is feeling at that moment. Can you elaborate on this?
I can try, but disclaimer: it doesn't make much sense to me either. If the woman did not incite an erotic response in me, in some way, I probably wouldn't have feelings of spite towards her. My reaction, with no degree of certainty, may stem from the shame I feel from watching porn and objectifying women, or jealousy that I'm not receiving the same attention. That's my best guess as of now. I feel none of these things when a man displays himself; nothing beyond very occasional and mild sexual interest. He is not threatening.
Thanks for sharing. It does help tie-up many loose ends in my understanding. It makes a lot of sense believe it or not.
I've never really had problems with this, luckily. I can't remember ever getting "triggered" by a woman's clothing IRL. That may also be because the only people I see in bikini or summer clothing or something are my friends, as I don't often go to public pools or beaches.
Inappropriate.... I really hate this word. It always makes me think of some pompous British royal with a monacle on their left eye and their nose turned high while looking down at a group of people and huffing in disgust because they're not "proper" and "classy". This also brings to mind the religious dogma that is so prevalent in American culture. I'm mainly thinking about the "abstinence" culture that so so many of the religious elite want to promote because they think telling teenagers to not have sex will stop them from getting pregnant and spreading STI's, which it doesn't and has been proven many many times so. I may seem like I'm digressing from the point of this thread, but this has to do with dress, too. Women and men should be able to dress however they want without fear of retaliation, shame, or any negative consequences. I think there shouldn't even be language of "inappropriately dressed". That just promotes the idea that something someone wears or doesn't wear is "bad". We should be proud of our bodies and proud of how we look instead of pandering to the people who get uncomfortable because they don't can't handle the emotions and sensations of seeing nudity or sexuality.
This made me smile. I don't own a monacle, in case you were wondering. I'm not trying to promote shame, or saying people should all dress like nuns, I just find it much easier to look at people as more than just their bodies when they cover up to a decent degree. What exactly is decent and considerate of others is subjective, and that's why I was looking for other peoples opinions.
I think we're using different definitions here. When I say lust, I mean looking at the woman in a way that is focused entirely on what I can get from looking at her, and focusing too much on her body. I don't mean a lack of sexual attraction. Or in other words, I think it's okay to look at a woman's body very briefly, be sexually attracted to her, and then treat her like a person and not ogle her. That just seems like the respectful way of doing things to me.
If she's showing skin and your 'mentally' lusting for her then why deceive her into believing your not interested in her sexually?
Just because I find a girl attractive doesn't necessarily mean I want to pursue a relationship with her. She doesn't need to know I find her attractive. And it isn't deceitful to not ogle her. There are many ways to convey interest.
If you're good at that and think she would respond to it. I meant more subtle though. Something like flirting (not in a creepy or overly macho way,) looking to spend more time with her, or just take a risk and tell her how you feel.
Well loose cloths are a serious problem for us, porn addicts. but control your eyes. don't see those people. you will be fine.
