I've been Mia for about a week. I could say how busy I've been and all kinds of reasons but they would just be excuses. It only takes a few minutes to check in. A way I unintentionally saw brief popups on my computer but didnt stay with them so I'm still porn free. I've been feeling absolutely no sexual urges and that worries me sometimes. I've tried to stimulate myself but no all out m. So I'm continuing one day at a time.
Day 22/90 Thankfully I was busy today and there wasn't much time I was alone. So I managed to pass through. Tomorrow is also a holiday so I have to make some plans to keep me busy.
11 days. My brain is trying some old tricks to get me to watch P, but I know exactly where it will end up. There is no "casual use" scenario for me anymore. If I crack the door open, it will turn into a flood and the content escalation will happen for sure. So instead, I just try to find something else productive to direct my restless energy towards. I feel tired, but also determined. Today I will not PMO - that is enough to focus on for now.
Day 7/90. Feeling better today than recently and I feel like I can handle more than I have been able to lately. But can't get carried away with either this PMO battle or my battle with anxiety.
Well, it has been a long time since I've been back on my computer. 3 days to be exact! Today is Day 3. I am feeling way way refreshed, motivated, and excited for the journey ahead! I am beginning to start new habits that will be good for me such as reading the Bible, waking up at a decent time every day, lifting at the gym, and checking in with my accountability partner every night to stay consistent. I am cutting out YouTube time and time in my room as that is where I am closest to the dangers of PMO. I am very aware of how I behave when I've just seen something I shouldn't of seen and when I am not in the right state of mind. Now, I need to train myself to run away from those situations.
Day 67 is over. I had lots of urges today, but somehow managed to fight them off. The trick is to just stop the temptation as soon as the thought even appears in your mind, don't let it grow. Just whisk it away.
Winding down day 16 with some Christmas music and football. Today was a down day I felt worthless, lonely and listless. There will be dark days but the hard days are when we grow the most. Staying on the true and narrow road. In a better place this evening
Today I felt sad and lonely. Noticed, that these emotions can trigger my behavior. But I listend to nice music instead of watching P. And I have gone for a long walk. That was good. So Day 9.
Day 90!!!! Finally , I'm done with this challenge . This shit has beaten me up for years and now it's time for healing everything . Onto the 365 day challenge .I thank everyone who has helped me in this challenge.
Day 9/90( day 10 in progress) Day 0/90(( of No PMO) DAY 3 [ ✓] DAY 7 [ ✓] DAY 10 [. ] DAY 14 [. ] DAY 21 [. ] DAY 32 [. ] DAY 64 [. ] DAY 82 [. ] DAY 90 [. ]
I am currently on my Day 23. Unfortunately yesterday I had M & O. Afted going to bed yesterday there was an irresistible urge . I couldn't control it and ended up in M&O. Thankfully I could refrain from P and thus I don't think it is a relapse. So I guess I will continue with my counter and finish it without PMO.
I can relate to your post. I didnt feel quiet how you described but I did feel listless ,alone and not quiet right in some way. I also accomplished very little. I ran to the store, took a drive and sat around playing online chess. I also called a friend who didnt answer. But I didnt turn to porn so it wasnt a bad day. Apparantly you didn't either. Thanks for the post.