I got to the stage where women no longer turned me on at all. Only trans women would get me going. I found myself daydreaming about leaving my real life girlfriend and kids and getting a trans girlfriend. I'm cold turkey on watching that stuff for weeks now but I don't think I'll ever recover and get back to "normal" from it. All I feel now is a melancholy and sadness that seems like it will never pass.
Spot on with this. She's an incredibly attractive human. Years of porn use had me fascinated by dicks. Not attracted to men at all, just the erect penis. So ofc having a beautiful woman with a dick will be very arousing. And it can subconsciously ease any negative feelings about the homosexually of things.
Nop she is ugly, searched on ig and its ugly, there are much prettier woman But dont search it people, an you shouldnt had putted the name here , some may relapse because of it
It does get easier the longer you stay away. But I’ve found it gets more intense as you’re resisting at first. Your addiction wants to keep there. And will make you depressed, ashamed, angry and tired t keep you in the loop .Push through it. I’ve been seeing a psychotherapist who specialises in sex and kinks. It really helps. You can beat it dude.
It's addictive because it's taboo and gets the dopamine rushing. I did it and went all the way on several occasions, because the rush and thrill was amazing....the intense dopamine hit calmed the anxiety and depression, then it dissipates -The reason its addictive is because it's not natural and taboo, that's ok because we're humans with urges. If you enjoy it, It doesn't make you gay or anything. It's a problem if that's not how you really feel and feel you can't control yourself and your urges and you're always wanting to look at porn to get that next feel good - if you feel its an obsession and messing with you it's a problem and you need to overcome it. The issue is are your urges genuine that you are into that or is it that porn is warping your perception of reality ? If it's porn then you simply need to abstain from it, as hard as it is and as often as you will get flashes of it, eventually they will weaken.
I’ve relapsed again to real life ts yesterday and the day before. It’s wrecking me. I think checking an actress someone mentioned didn’t help (curiosity killed the cat and the potential to get some pussy probably) A few drinks over Christmas and family stress. And visiting a dirty massage parlour when I was leaving I felt like a scum bag, with the next guy ready to jump on straight after. I was starting to think I’m not really into the trans much anymore. But at the back of my mind knowing it got comes and goes. I’m sick of relapsing and new counsellors. Sick of trying different methods. Do I give in to the fact that they turn me on. It does give me a massive intense rush and engorge me a lot (excuse the details.) But it costs me loads and leaves me living in shame feeling a shell of the man I could be. Do I give in to the 12 step fellowship who were arseholes to me and admit I’m powerless. I feel it’s so deeply ingrained now it’s going to take years to undo. I can’t not come in years. But nearly everything else escalates. I haven’t got the energy to go 90 days I’m sick of failing. Sorry to sound like a quitter. I just feel like I need a plan.
Maybe you should try to let go of the shame......... and give in and find yourself a nice TS girlfriend. Would that be too much social stigma for you? sorry for your struggles
I really don’t want one. I’d like a normal girlfriend. But feel too messed up at the moment. When I see a TS I pretend it’s a woman and block out the manliness. I think it’s just the intensity I’m after. Once I’ve finished I don’t find them attractive just weird.
I won't lie, I found it all a big thrill and got a huge rush out of it, can't say I felt dirty of "gay" after it, I giggled to myself and thought it was funny. I did it a few times and I enjoyed it, won't lie. But it's not me, last time I did it, I was really depressed and out of my mind after a long long flight, did it for a massive rush and that's about the only time I regretted it and felt wrong about what I did.
Yeah it's been well over 3 years since the last time and I don't miss it, flashbacks come but since I went off porn the flashbacks have really stopped, prior use to be a lot of intrusive thoughts
I’ve found that admitting that I’m struggling and asking for help has made a big difference of letting go. Sometimes I think I come across as a know it all. Even though I’m trying to help and gee people up. I can see what the step one is all about now. Allowing myself to be vulnerable
The best way to beat it is to just DO IT! Stop watching it, stop looking at it and allow the process to happen and it won't be easy. After a period the flashbacks stop being as intense.
Unfortunately the fucked up way society defines sexuality manliness and manhood unfortunately makes it such a social taboo many people don't feel comfortable, reality is if you lived in ancient Rome they didn't really have a definition of gay/straight and had different views on it back then. You dont need to talk to a single friend of family member about it, reality is you never need to discuss it with anyone else but on here, but if you feel psych therapy and counseling will help I seriously recommend doing it but you need to be willing to open up and be vulnerable there and be willing to talk through it. Or you need to do your own self therapy, I've done alot of this and under the influence of mushrooms which has helped me a lot with my own mental reset
Sweet, yea I like your style. I see a psychotherapist who’s really cool. And micro dose now and again on psilocybin. Did a bit of DMT a year back, but prefer the natural. There’s a good doctor: Gabour Mate who works with addiction and the plant healers who’s very interesting Just under a lot at the moment, so need to be gentle and encouraging to myself rather than keep giving myself shit. Which usually leads to trying escape.
I’m definitely moving forward. I just want all that crap behind me;far in the past so I don’t feel weird about it. It’s escalated for me as years ago it wouldn’t have entered my head. In fact I’d seen a few on the escort circuits around the apartments and was far from interested. I know what you’re saying though it’s not like I’m hurting anyone or doing anything illegal, sex can get extreme. But it’s coming from a place of trauma where I’m trying to self soothe.
most couple i believe have sex mostly for recreational purpose and getting closer or whatever otherwise they would only have sex while the woman is ovulating and not pregnant.