Day 5 going strong last decade Was totally dead for me But i will change myself in next upcoming 5years
Something happened and I feel like I let myself down. My ex asked to visit me so I took her to my bedroom, I wasn’t suppose to initiate sex with her but I did, while having sex and asked me to pull out for reasons best known to her. I asked if she was sure about this, and she said yes so I pulled out (old me would have begged for the pussy cos I haven’t ejaculated yet). Right now, I feel like not having sex with her anymore not cos I’m upset at what she did but because I’m not suppose to be all over you. You’re my ex. I don’t wanna initiate sex with women anymore till I’m married. I believe with that I can be able to control this urges, see every temptation and not fall into them. I was able to go more than 90 days without PMO last year and I stopped initiating sex with women who can to my house, bro u should see how this girls kept coming. Each one of them undressed me themselves, I felt loved and that helped my sexual performance. But I later fapped Dec 29th 2020, I didn’t really feel bad about it because I edged for an hour and I knew I wasn’t gonna do it again. I did that cos I found porn on my Twitter. Took me days before I fapped tho even after seeing the P vid on Twitter (don’t worry I already deleted the app). I guess that was why I was all over my ex. I couldn’t really control myself. I didn’t call this girl for 8 months bro, like I moved on even when I saw her sometime after 8 months, I just looked at her normal. I didn’t wish we could have Sex right now. I was strong, I was mindful all thanks to Nofap. She’s scared of me I know, I sense it. Twizza is back now. I really don’t know my goals yet but for now, I wanna be mindful when looking at a girls body (like looking and wanting all cos I wanna orgasm, I don’t want that). I want to be able to converse without getting hard again. I had that power last year. I lost it man. I was able to stay weeks with a girl, playing and sleeping together without getting hard (I get hard in the morning tho). She’d be all over man and when I say all over me, I mean she’ll go extreme to seduce me, that doesn’t work then she’ll come straight with kisses and touches, I kiss back and all before she undresses me, if she doesn’t undress me no matter how long I’m not interested and trust me I’m not thinking about it, man I was patience and mindful last year cos I wanted to make my life better. 2020 was a year I didn’t think of Sex. I was in control of my urges man. I mean I play with girls who are interested in me or I’m interested in and also we have good good conversation even when we both naked lol. I feel like I’ve Typed too much. I really wanna get back to not think about sex with every woman. I did that last year, I can do that again. DAY 0 no PMO How long can I do this for? Right now I don’t want any distraction and when I say distraction I mean even sex I don’t need to be having sexual thoughts and wanting to have sex. I need to allow them flow even if it’s gonna take 12 hours.
Day 6 going strong Some soft romantic photos i saw But i didn't get any urges it was normal feeling immediately i closed it that's all.for now Stay strong