Thank you for sharing your grief, it is very inspiring for those of us who strive to connect to our core also. Keep the stories coming about Toby! I never had a dog, though I did want one, because circumstances never allowed.
Thank you for staying with us @RiseToGreatness. No matter where you are in your recovery, we need you guiding us along the quest! You've prob seen this before, but if not then who knows it might be of help: https://thefreedomfight.org/30-day-challenge-sign-up/day-18-relapse-and-reality-video/ Thank you again for everything you are doing for us - your forum is a paradise island of calm for us all in a sea of fury. January is nearly over and Spring will soon be on its way - so please stay with us, please keep being our guide and mentor.
Day 12, Had a nice snowfall last night. Online lecture later and keeping strong with my goals. Intending to find time to practice more piano, however, I am finding that if I intend to do all of my class readings I have just enough time to eat in a day hahahaha. Best to you all! Onwards Fellowship!
Good attitude and great analysis of the situation ! What exactly do you mean under 'guided self-development' ? And what recovery you will be prioritizing ? Is it health recovery or do you mean something else?
Thank you brother for kind words ! For now I have the deep respect for those who run their first marathon, because I know what they are going through.
Checking in Day 1. Early on I had trouble staying focused and motivated with my studies, but I took a very cold shower and felt re-energized enough to hit the books. My mood has been pretty "meh" but I'm gonna take the time to do a bit of meditation and see if that helps. The journey has just begun for me, and I am excited to be on this path with you all!
Day 26 Another great day! Part of me was foolishly thinking I have this addiction beaten, but after my girlfriend sent me an unintentionally arousing photo I quickly realised I was wrong! I managed to pass off the thoughts quite quickly but I need to get a better handle on my emotions. I really enjoyed reading your posts today brothers, I always find encouragement and reason to celebrate your achievements each day! Keep up the great work brothers, you’ve helped me so much.
18 days. Thanks for the discussion on p-subs @RiseToGreatness , it is very helpful. I am always fishing. I gotta cut that out. Thanks for the reminder.
Hobbiton! I'm happy to (again) become a hobbit, but I know I still have some orc in me, so I must be wary. Also, I am happy to report that I have accomplished by short-term goal of 15 Days! Time for another short-term goal... Today I have - meditated - prayed - worked out - taken a cold shower - eaten healthy - finished a work task - texted friends and family There's still much more to do. I am happy to be here in this moment, though. Let's remember that the notion of porn being fun is an illusion. Let's find some authentic enjoyment!
Day 6 Today has been, I suppose, the return of urges in partial force. My HOCD triggers (seeing lewd women I am not really attracted to) have been making me seriously fucking pissed. Forget anxiety, it's annoying at this point. I don't know why it has to feel like real attraction. It makes no sense. I can't get it out of my head right now. I considered just giving up, too. Can't remember the reason, but it was something along the lines of 'I will remain confident in my sexuality even if I fap to girls.' That sort of thinking never works, don't know why I thought this time would be different. It reminds me of the Tool song, Sober. Now that I think about it, that song runs through my head when I relapse. " Why can't we not be sober. . . just want to start this over" I don't know how similar or different alcoholism and masturbation addictions are, but those words seem to resonate with me when I imagine it's talking about PMO. Someone asked me to keep writing about my passed away dog, Toby, but I am in no proper state of mind to do so. I am too irritated. Instead, I will share a picture of my new dog that my mom got me recently. Her name is Princess Leia. The very type of dog good old Toby would have put in place real quick. . . heh. Miss you buddy. <33 Now I gotta handle these emotions welling up at the thought of that.