Saving Ourselves For marriage

Agree with each and every word of yours!

 

Thank you for writing what you did and your analysis seem pretty on the mark.
As a virgin guy, saving myself for marriage I have experienced some of this in my being rejected as an unfit suitor for not being willing to engage in premarital sex. It is tough that I also lost girlfriends a number of times of received their wrath upon them learning that Inwanted only a marriage relationship. I have learned that my girlfriends don't have to be models as if we truly love them, we learn to love the way they look, like if their nose turns up or their ears are sort of big because they are "her" ears or its "her" nose, and we love "her", not an ideal.
I look forward to just walking and holding hands with someone that wishes to walk with "me" and hold "my" hand, that is what love means.

 

Unfortunately social media has changed our perception of love, beauty and relationship. For anyone who is deeply conditioned by media, just holding hand of your partner and walking will always sound boring to them. We have to save ourselves from being manipulated by social media and any media in general.

 

Very well said !
How can anyone really appreciate the gift of intimacy and depth of human connection when nearly everyone are chasing for easy rewards of fake imitations, filling their cups to the fullness, not leaving space for sacred and true gifts of love and simplicity of love.

 

Great post man! Well written!

Personally I'm of the opinion that social media is an effective tool for formal communications and businesses but a dumb tool for connecting on personal level.

People are brainwashed by consumerism. Ideals of love and intimacy are misguided nowadays. But I hope that in the end, it is going to be okay.

Look at us! We've had to go through this crap addiction, only to realize the true value of intimacy, relationship and love! I'm sure that the ones who are stuck in the Instagram rut will come back to the place of harmony. Just because you've had multiple sexual encounters doesn't mean you are lost. I think the ones who have gone through these varying vagaries of relationship realize the fact that in the end, it is not the number of people whom you have slept with that matters, it is how true you have been to yourself and the ones that trusted you with their heart. It is how honest, true and pure your intentions are when you propose your commitment to a person. It is how much heart you have to love and open up to your partner despite pain. To bleed willingly and joyfully. To experience the pain of bearing your heart and getting hurt, and to experience the warmth of healing. To love without boundaries, without expectation, with total devotion and holiness, so much that you lose yourself and find your soul in the other. Atleast, that's my truth.

The essence of an intimate relationship is to dwell deep into each other's soul, and lose yourself in the process of loving. And to give joyfully, playfully, and shamelessly. This is not to say that you must not adhere to your values and expect the same from partner. This is a kind of subtle dichotomy. When you both know that your love is conditional and that it has its limitations and that you are possessive of each other and there is an element of selfishness, then strangely, your love becomes deep.

We cannot expect other's to understand our truths. They have their own sense of right and wrong. But it is always good to have our own set of values no matter what the mainstream society says and the we must have the gall to adhere by the values. To find someone who shares similar values are great.

And there always will be such people. It's just we've to be willing to communicate, face-to-face and agree upon values. It is uncertain, but that's how life is. All we can do is live to the best of our integrity. And take decisions with sense of volition, mend things where it muse be mended, end things where it must be ended.

Take care man

 

What a great post !

 

I know a friend of mine, who had broken hearts, slept with many women, and had revealed the fact the some of those relationships reminds him of how he was so selfish and lost respect in the eyes of some really great partners he once had, who cared for him more than he ever deserved. Now, he can't stand in front of them, can't look into their eyes. So, sleeping with people really matters, it changes you emotionally and affects you forever.

 

This is an interesting thread and i appreciate the insight from all of you. Im 28 and a virgin myself. My virginity is something i dont want to lose. It is a very high value gift i want to give away on purpose for a special woman.

 

the large amount of chemicals released in your body during MO are very very addictive. but if P is added to that, it even worse. stay away from P for life. and wean yourself off MO.

 

Thanks bro! Trying my best but having a hard time with MO so far. Abstaining form P is still going top class.

 

Wow I love this, thanks for sharing

 

Good thread, it is nice to hear about other people saving themselves for marriage. I grew up in a culture (I guess we all) in which it is normal to have premarital sex. My family is not that religious and none of my friends were back then, neither was I. I disrespected God in many ways and thought that the idea of religions were stupid. I was so lost, I guess that I was not satisfied of my life and I did not have a purpose. Where I live school is teaching very secular opinions so it was easy for me to accept non-religious life. We were told at school that it is normal to masturbate, look at porn and have sex during teenage years. Although school is to be blamed for this, it is my responsibility because I did not even bother to think about these things. It just felt good so why would it be wrong?

I came into faith at the end of the year 2017. I was suffering a lot and I numbed the pain with drugs and PMO. Then it just clicked, this life is not going to make me happy. It will only bring more pain. God brought the right people into my life at the right time and I started to learn more about religions and ways to look at life. I had my ups and downs and relapses to the old life and in the process learned so much about God and myself. I have had sex before, which I now regret badly. There has been girls that I really liked and my behavior and addiction have made the relationships not work. There has been girls that liked me, but I did not fancy them more than wanting to sleep with them. Both of these kind of relationships makes me feel bad - the hurt that comes from being the reason for a relationship to not work and on the other relationships being a douchebag of a man. I know that I hurt those girls, it makes me feel so bad because I know how it feels to be rejected after giving so much to the other person. But at that time all I was thinking was to be satisfied sexually. And even after realizing this and how fucked up it is, sometimes there are flashbacks of those girls and it makes me so horny - and it is truly after this I realize why sexual sin is so much worse than any other. It hurts me and others.

So how is this related to this thread? After all this that has happened, I have decided to save myself for marriage so these kind of things will not happen again - for my own sake and for others. I truly wish that I would have been this close to God before all of what happened took place - however that is not possible. I can only ask for Gods forgiveness and make sure it does not happen again. I know God is forgiving and he has grace to let me be freed from these sins. I respect all of you that you have been abstaining from sex. Our society is dark but it is up to us to carry the light. It makes me feel good to say all of this since I have not talked about these things in this way to anyone and I know letting our sins be heard will free us from them. I also hope that this can be a real life example why sex before marriage is wrong.

I pray for all of you for Gods grace to be strong and destroy the PMO addiction.

 

I wish the same for you!

The last part really makes me wonder how should we be taught in school? I do however think that God has a plan for everyone - only if we are ready to hear it.

 

leave all other people , they can go to hell , do whats right , and the right is not to indulge in adultery and keep yourself chaste ,its hard but its right , and you will have a good husband , because the quran says it so . stop caring so much what others think ,they want to take away from you what they have lost themselves(they regret it but they wont tell you and they will always be jealous from people who are strong and wont compromise on their values and they want to break such people by picking on them and telling them they have ancient mindsets well chastity ,honor and loyalty has no age they are universal and forever. so stay strong sister .

 

Apologies for the late response! At the outset let me make it clear that I didn't imply to support infidelity. My words were in response to post by @Ghabbbyyyy where he shared about how certain people are cheating in the relationship. My message was and I quote

"I think the ones who have gone through these varying vagaries of relationship realize the fact that in the end, it is not the number of people whom you have slept with that matters, it is how true you have been to yourself and the ones that trusted you with their heart."

I cannot see how the words of mine supports infidelity. In fact, my message was pro-commitment and discouraging of infidelity.

My message is that a deep, true, altruistic committed relationship is more nurturing that shallow ones.

Infidelity is insensitive, inhumane and gross violation of the principles and promise of mutual commitment.

I regret if it sounded to you otherwise.

 

yes do what your

never compromise on your values and you will always be happy and satisfied . its hard but its worth it.