Saving Ourselves For marriage

Blue_Knight · Oct 24, 2022

Rosamund said: ↑

Hello Dear friends. I haven't posted a new text in this thread for a long time. Today, a topic came to my mind that I think I should share with you.

For a long time, I wondered what the instrumental use of women really meant. Is it just about using women and their sexual attractions in advertising or not?

I think I answered my questions today after a long time. In my opinion, the instrumental use of women is very widespread and has different forms.

there is a good channel on youtube that helps people on the path to personal growth and improvement and of course, is a fan of the NoFap (I don't know why I can't type the name of it because the site
censors the name). However, watching the cover of one of the videos today was not pleasant for me.

A new video released by the channel showed a semi-erotic pose of a girl with the caption: "How to get a girl to like you?"

I did not enjoy watching this video and its cover, despite having relatively good tips. Although the methods recommended in this video were not in line with abstinence, this was not what bothered me.

Rather, it was portraying girls as people whose whole identities seemed to be summed up in a few things: sex, sex, and sex! Creatures that you should sleep with and enjoy the beauty of their appearance; Not from their minds. Not from talking to them, not from their souls.

The methods I thought were undirectly saying, "How do we get a girl to have sex?"

Oh, how annoying these things are to me. All of this tells me how sexual and instrumental some people view women, no matter where in the world they live. You may tell me that my thinking is too strict, but sometimes I really feel that if someone is attracted to me or any other girl, they are fascinated by my- their appearance and do not know anything about my or their souls.

In Persian literature, there is a book called Her Eyes, the great work of Bozorg Alavi (which I highly recommend to you to read it, if you enjoy reading historical- mystery romance stories). There is a text in this book that beautifully describes the girl's mind in dealing with men:

"
In all my five years in Paris, I have never met a man I like. My tired soul was never ready to love a man. They were so soft and submissive, like wax, in front of me, and these situations of their artificial love upset me.

How could I compare this mature and deprived man with those Iranian mamma's boys living in Paris? Their false feelings bite me. They all wanted my flesh, though I wished I could sacrifice my soul. I wanted to give my body to someone who would capture my soul. I wanted to find and conquer what I was thirsty for; Not that anyone comes to me and asks me. He gave me strength and power. Apparently, when I was in front of him, I considered myself not afraid; But the truth is that he was the source of my power.

I did not know what to say to him. I sat next to him, cold as wet firewood, which smokes but does not burn. This man dominated me. He was stronger than me. He unknowingly treated me like a little cat playing with its tail; I did not want to realize that, like a helpless doll, a force beyond my normal powers had drawn me to him.

I was wary of this mellow, isolated, fiery, steely man who thought of everything but flirting with a girl like me. »

Alavi has really expressed this issue very beautifully. The girl is thirsty for the soul and identity of the man. The fact is that the wise and educated girls fall in love this way, and not with money and six packs and possessions.

It really bugs me when a man tries to catch a girl just to sleep with her -_-
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Oh yes! great book. and great point of view about it. Are u persian btw?

stoikimojic · Oct 24, 2022

Rosamund said: ↑

Hello dear friends.

I created this topic so that I can meet friends like me (who try to postpone sex until after marriage) to share our thoughts and ideas, to Give each other energy and motivation so that we can continue on the path with more strength.

I did not create this thread to discuss the rightness or wrongness of this decision with anyone. This is a personal decision and I totally respect all the friends who made another decision.
This thread is only for expressions of encouragement and hope, and if you have a different opinion; Please discuss it in another thread.

Thanks.

PS:
If someone has decided not to have sex until marriage, they can safely participate in this thread. This is a place to support and encourage the continuation of this decision.
And if anyone doubts whether this is a good decision or not, they can read this thread in full; And if he has a special opinion, let us know.

Rose.
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I'm 26, still virgin and i'm also Muslim, sex before marriage is forbidden in our religion, so i agree with you.
I recently realized that I don't want to marry anymore, so i will probably never have sex, and i'm feeling okay with this.

Urrengators · Oct 27, 2022

So youre not alone sis.

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