Super Not only are we shedding a destructive habit, we are building a new one by taking responsibility for ourselves and becoming men!
18 days – PMO forces have spotted you!! With haste you use the Bucklebury Ferry to cross the Brandywine river.
Day 0. Before I could cross the Bruinen the Black Riders caught up with me and dragged me off to corrupt me into an orc. No porn, no fantasizing, which are two things I'm grateful for. My struggle isn't with porn, or a strong desire for intimacy or sex or the like. I just can't break away from the physical actions.
Day 0 Today I want to talk to the rest of the orcs and the urk-hi around here and Remind them, not all those who wander are lost. I’ve been trying to quit porn for more than two years, and in the time the best that I’ve ever been able to reach is 14 days, and I swear that I felt like it could kill me (I got there with a really bad and self-destructive method). But in the past two month I’ve been trying to add one more think other then just the day counter, and I feel like that had made all the different for me. In the past, every time I’ve failed, I’ve felt so bad that I’ve just binged my way down into depression and would just have a cycle of self-hate and PMO. But lately I’ve been keeping myself accountable with a calendar as wall as the day counter and I just feel like a winner now. I’ve failed today, I had a really bad fight with my girlfriend lest night and I only slept like 3 hours and in this morning I just broke. I looked at porn while thinking “just one more minute and then I’ll do one of the “panic button” exercises to stop myself. And after I’ve realized I’ve been just watching P for 30 minutes I just said fuck it and MO. But as I want over to mark this day as a failure, at least I could still look at the huge progress I’ve made in this time. I want from fapping 5-10 times a day to have more good days than days where I fap once. And that is huge. So to all my fallow orcs. It’s not just the day counter! It’s everything. Slipping after a week don’t unmake that week’s progress, and we are still improving little by little. Lately I’ve been reading a book called the happiness advantage, and that really strass the importance of failing upward. The idea that it’s not the failure or tragedy itself that affect us but how we deal with it. So good luck today everyone.
Day 7 starts today...urges are much more strong...had dreamed of fellatio while sleeping...but not witnessed nocturnal emmition, urges was that strong that i even thought of sex chat, but right now i have taken this oath again, I am seriously damaged by my brain, i simply get aroused even by the words "SEX","CONDOMS"LUBE" And so onn..... I want to cope up with this dirty mindset, even i tried not to witness people who turn me on only by a look, i am trying i am trying i am trying....
well, it seems you´re really struggling and that is not good. you need to calm down bro. try meditation, do little periods of meditation through the day. also engage in physical exercise, releasing energy is good to calm down afterwards, and it will also make you feel good . plus, stay away from dangerous situations and watch our mind, lustful thoughts are fire and will increase urges. watch your mind, let the thoughts pass on, they can´t shake you if you don´t engage in them. Focus my brother.
Early check-in Fellowship, as i sense this day will be busy so i prefer to check in now. Our brother @LuckyMan has entered the Buckleberry Ferry in the Shire. Congratulations bro!!! Right on time I see the struggle going on in many brothers right now and i just want to say you´re not alone. The entire Fellowship is with you my brothers, in bad days and good days . Onward!!! "Gimli: I never thought I’d die fighting side by side with an elf. Legolas: How about side by side with a friend? Gimli: Aye. I could do that."
Hi brother, this sentence above sums up very nicely the reasons of relapse: -emotional stress(to deal with this successfully study CBT(cognitive behavioral therapy) and some relationships guide explaining the differences in the manner of communication between genders) -insufficient,low-quality sleep(to deal with this one study the benefits of good quality sleep as well as the harmful effects of the insufficient and low quality one.Here I recommend to study Matthew Walker's 'Why we sleep') If you put a good effort in addressing these two issues chances are you will never stumble and relapse over them again and your number of clean days will go up steadily. p.s. And effective accountability means being accountable on the positive healthy habits (see tips in the initial post of the challenge)and their implementation in your life instead PMO filth. The Day 5, Day 250 doesn't matter what -It's a lazy count and not an accountability at all. Accountability means that you tell brotherhood what healthy 'tips'- habits you managed to implement in your life at that very day as well as positive changes in your life happened when you followed the challenge rules, to serve as an encouragement for those who follow our footsteps. Empty check in means nothing, encourages nobody and helps nobody because just by looking at high days number you won't be able to do the same without knowing what they done to reach it. Check in Day ... is not a daily accountability, but just a lazy daily check in. It is like if people can't or are not able to speak to give a meaningful account to encourage and help other brothers.
I have found endurance exercise to serve as a major release valve, specifically running. It allows me to clear my head and get rid of excess energy. Writing in three forms has also been key. 1) on this website 2) in "the five-minute journal" and 3) in freeform moleskin. It is difficult to emphasize just how important this has been for me. There is something about writing that organizes your daily thought patterns. You start to think more clearly and reach conclusions that otherwise would have been lost in your untethered patterns of thinking. It is tricky to stick to, but I make sure to write in at least one of these locations every morning. After a few weeks, you will notice major impacts if you are pursuing the practice thoughtfully.
Day 78. Feeling mellow this morning. I have been doing an autopsy on my fear of rejection in my daily journals and it feels like it is finally paying off. I have a better understanding of where the feeling comes from and how it has manifested into porn addiction. I am going to keep this in view as I continue on my journey and further dissect what it means.
Day 8 Complete I was more just copying the storyline from the challenge haha it makes it a bit of fun for me. Good point though. I certainly don't speak those things over myself. The things I say out loud each morning are "I'm no longer a slave to sin, but I have been set free through Christ." and "It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me". Thanks for your comment, makes me think I should be more aware of my self image. I'm working on it!
Day 1/500 (Orc) No urges, no nothing. Busy day today but I'm happy because I'm able to overcome the chaser effect.