My Father and Older Brother are addicts

Daggertail19 · Jun 7, 2021

Before I start this post, it is important to note that I am 24, my older brother is 29, and my father is almost 70. I have one younger brother who is 23, my mom, and my grandma all living in the same house together.

So I have known for a long time that my father watches porn. I have also known that my older brother does too. As a younger kid they acted as my role models, so I rationalized my excessive use of porn with the fact that my role models indulged as well. If they are doing it, then so can I, right?

This was before I began this journey of nofap, long before. In fact I did not begin to look at my porn use as damaging until after the first time I had an experience with PIED. Even after this experience, it took my a year or two to acknowledge that it was in fact porn which was causing my troubles.

Now, about 3 years since my first PIED experience, I realize that my father and older brother are addicts. Why am I so sure? Well first off, I have tried to explain the benefits of Nofap to my older brother, and he does not see a problem with porn at all. We never argue or scream about it, but I can tell that he does not see what I see. This is discouraging, but not as discouraging as my father.

I know my father watches porn because I have seen it on his searches. The other day he connected his computer to the TV to watch a show, and I saw more than one porn tab open. He sits in his office all day, no joke, with very little movement. In fact as far as I can remember, my father has sat in his office for hours a day. Makes me wonder what he has been doing all these years. He does not see porn as a bad thing either, I have tried to talk to him many times and to him it is "normal." Also, he uses pretty demeaning words with me sometimes, the other day he called me weak for leaving my laptop with my mom. He asked me why and I told him "it is a distraction." His response was, "you are that weak that you can't control yourself?" Funny, because I don't think he can control himself either.

This is super discouraging, as they were once role models to me. I do not want to be like my father or even my brother. I do not want to reach the age of 70 and still be watching porn. That sounds awful, anyone else feel like their family just doesn't get it?

1ANDDONE · Jun 7, 2021

I don't really feel that way about my family. Worrying about being addicted at 70 scared the fuck out of me, and contributed to me quitting the habit.

InnerMan · Jun 7, 2021

Daggertail19 said: ↑

Before I start this post, it is important to note that I am 24, my older brother is 29, and my father is almost 70. I have one younger brother who is 23, my mom, and my grandma all living in the same house together.

So I have known for a long time that my father watches porn. I have also known that my older brother does too. As a younger kid they acted as my role models, so I rationalized my excessive use of porn with the fact that my role models indulged as well. If they are doing it, then so can I, right?

This was before I began this journey of nofap, long before. In fact I did not begin to look at my porn use as damaging until after the first time I had an experience with PIED. Even after this experience, it took my a year or two to acknowledge that it was in fact porn which was causing my troubles.

Now, about 3 years since my first PIED experience, I realize that my father and older brother are addicts. Why am I so sure? Well first off, I have tried to explain the benefits of Nofap to my older brother, and he does not see a problem with porn at all. We never argue or scream about it, but I can tell that he does not see what I see. This is discouraging, but not as discouraging as my father.

I know my father watches porn because I have seen it on his searches. The other day he connected his computer to the TV to watch a show, and I saw more than one porn tab open. He sits in his office all day, no joke, with very little movement. In fact as far as I can remember, my father has sat in his office for hours a day. Makes me wonder what he has been doing all these years. He does not see porn as a bad thing either, I have tried to talk to him many times and to him it is "normal." Also, he uses pretty demeaning words with me sometimes, the other day he called me weak for leaving my laptop with my mom. He asked me why and I told him "it is a distraction." His response was, "you are that weak that you can't control yourself?" Funny, because I don't think he can control himself either.

This is super discouraging, as they were once role models to me. I do not want to be like my father or even my brother. I do not want to reach the age of 70 and still be watching porn. That sounds awful, anyone else feel like their family just doesn't get it?
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Interesting situation buddy. Don't worry about what your father or brother are doing, that's on them. There's no point in trying to convince them, it's a waste of time and energy. Instead, work on your self. When you truly change, you won't have to say anything to them because your own being will speak for itself.

Deleted Account · Jun 7, 2021

Daggertail19 said: ↑

Before I start this post, it is important to note that I am 24, my older brother is 29, and my father is almost 70. I have one younger brother who is 23, my mom, and my grandma all living in the same house together.

So I have known for a long time that my father watches porn. I have also known that my older brother does too. As a younger kid they acted as my role models, so I rationalized my excessive use of porn with the fact that my role models indulged as well. If they are doing it, then so can I, right?

This was before I began this journey of nofap, long before. In fact I did not begin to look at my porn use as damaging until after the first time I had an experience with PIED. Even after this experience, it took my a year or two to acknowledge that it was in fact porn which was causing my troubles.

Now, about 3 years since my first PIED experience, I realize that my father and older brother are addicts. Why am I so sure? Well first off, I have tried to explain the benefits of Nofap to my older brother, and he does not see a problem with porn at all. We never argue or scream about it, but I can tell that he does not see what I see. This is discouraging, but not as discouraging as my father.

I know my father watches porn because I have seen it on his searches. The other day he connected his computer to the TV to watch a show, and I saw more than one porn tab open. He sits in his office all day, no joke, with very little movement. In fact as far as I can remember, my father has sat in his office for hours a day. Makes me wonder what he has been doing all these years. He does not see porn as a bad thing either, I have tried to talk to him many times and to him it is "normal." Also, he uses pretty demeaning words with me sometimes, the other day he called me weak for leaving my laptop with my mom. He asked me why and I told him "it is a distraction." His response was, "you are that weak that you can't control yourself?" Funny, because I don't think he can control himself either.

This is super discouraging, as they were once role models to me. I do not want to be like my father or even my brother. I do not want to reach the age of 70 and still be watching porn. That sounds awful, anyone else feel like their family just doesn't get it?
Click to expand...

Your father is severely addicted. It may already too late for him to justify his addiction because he doesn’t want to quit at the age of 70. Your brother still has time to quit successfully.

I can’t imagine being addicted to porn that long. I guess it goes to show you that no matter how long you live for, your always going to be thinking about sex lol.

modern milarepa · Jun 7, 2021

Daggertail19 said: ↑

you are that weak that you can't control yourself?"
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Porn is not so good, but do you see a problem with them? If they just watch it ocassionally and can control it then I don't see the problem. Your father sounds like he has no problem with it.

I certainly know men that watch porn and can control it. My father has never masturbated in his life and occasionally watches porn or see girls on Instagram.

My father gave me the first porn I ever watched, just to see the girls and I turned out just fine.

I think your father is right on this one. If you don't share their views just leave them alone.

modern milarepa · Jun 7, 2021

Not everybody that drinks has a problem and can take a beer ocassionally but if you are alcoholic then beer is off limits.

Even do I love semen retention I don't force or judge or try to convince anybody to do it. People have the free will to choose, we need to respect freedom and let people be whereas we think they are right or wrong.

Daggertail19 · Jun 7, 2021

modern milarepa said: ↑

Porn is not so good, but do you see a problem with them? If they just watch it ocassionally and can control it then I don't see the problem. Your father sounds like he has no problem with it.

I certainly know men that watch porn and can control it. My father has never masturbated in his life and occasionally watches porn or see girls on Instagram.

My father gave me the first porn I ever watched, just to see the girls and I turned out just fine.

I think your father is right on this one. If you don't share their views just leave them alone.
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I don't aim to change their opinion or force anything down their throat. My brothers and I have a good relationship, so we talk about anything. Hearing your father demean you and call you weak does not feel good, so I disagree with you. I don't think you read my post fully. Thanks for your input though.

modern milarepa · Jun 7, 2021

I read the thread and I don't see evidence of neither your father or brother being addicts you just say they are because they watch porn and you went to your father browser history. And that they don't share your views on porn.

Why are they addicts? How is porn affecting your father and brother lifes?

modern milarepa · Jun 7, 2021

Daggertail19 said: ↑

Hearing your father demean you and call you weak does not feel good
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Well, that is a father's job. Not all the time but sometimes they have to say these type of things so we grow.

Mr. Kruger · Jun 10, 2021

Daggertail19 said: ↑

Also, he uses pretty demeaning words with me sometimes, the other day he called me weak for leaving my laptop with my mom. He asked me why and I told him "it is a distraction." His response was, "you are that weak that you can't control yourself?" Funny, because I don't think he can control himself either.
Click to expand...

This sounds a lot like psychological projection to me. People will often castigate others for negative traits that they either consciously or subconsciously recognize and despise in themselves.

skullfull7 · Jun 10, 2021

Daggertail19 said: ↑

Before I start this post, it is important to note that I am 24, my older brother is 29, and my father is almost 70. I have one younger brother who is 23, my mom, and my grandma all living in the same house together.

So I have known for a long time that my father watches porn. I have also known that my older brother does too. As a younger kid they acted as my role models, so I rationalized my excessive use of porn with the fact that my role models indulged as well. If they are doing it, then so can I, right?

This was before I began this journey of nofap, long before. In fact I did not begin to look at my porn use as damaging until after the first time I had an experience with PIED. Even after this experience, it took my a year or two to acknowledge that it was in fact porn which was causing my troubles.

Now, about 3 years since my first PIED experience, I realize that my father and older brother are addicts. Why am I so sure? Well first off, I have tried to explain the benefits of Nofap to my older brother, and he does not see a problem with porn at all. We never argue or scream about it, but I can tell that he does not see what I see. This is discouraging, but not as discouraging as my father.

I know my father watches porn because I have seen it on his searches. The other day he connected his computer to the TV to watch a show, and I saw more than one porn tab open. He sits in his office all day, no joke, with very little movement. In fact as far as I can remember, my father has sat in his office for hours a day. Makes me wonder what he has been doing all these years. He does not see porn as a bad thing either, I have tried to talk to him many times and to him it is "normal." Also, he uses pretty demeaning words with me sometimes, the other day he called me weak for leaving my laptop with my mom. He asked me why and I told him "it is a distraction." His response was, "you are that weak that you can't control yourself?" Funny, because I don't think he can control himself either.

This is super discouraging, as they were once role models to me. I do not want to be like my father or even my brother. I do not want to reach the age of 70 and still be watching porn. That sounds awful, anyone else feel like their family just doesn't get it?
Click to expand...

@InnerMan is right you should focus and you. But my advice to you to also be compassionate with them, you are a Fapstronaut now cool right? But remember when you are before knowing about nofap? That's wasn't a good place right being ignore t, so do less talking and more work done, if you want to prove nofap is bad for bad them send them a motivational video and leave it at that.

Bob_the_Rebuilder · Jun 11, 2021

Daggertail19 said: ↑

So I have known for a long time that my father watches porn. I have also known that my older brother does too. As a younger kid they acted as my role models, so I rationalized my excessive use of porn with the fact that my role models indulged as well. If they are doing it, then so can I, right?
Click to expand...

This is exactly why I struggle with telling anyone close to me about this. Right now, I know my kids look up to me, and absolutely do not want to give any excuse for them to fall into the P trap.

Khufu · Jun 11, 2021

Daggertail19 said: ↑

I have tried to talk to him many times and to him it is "normal." Also, he uses pretty demeaning words with me sometimes, the other day he called me weak for leaving my laptop with my mom. He asked me why and I told him "it is a distraction." His response was, "you are that weak that you can't control yourself?" Funny, because I don't think he can control himself either.
Click to expand...

classic addict lash out, addicts lash out like this if they feel the product they are addicted to is under threat, just keep your ground continue the nofap practice show them how healthy your mindstate an physcial health is an assure them its the nofap effect, i had no dad but i had older brother he was in the trades had a wife an ideal role model an he had his ways of knowing i was looking at P an he spoke out an told me to stop looking at that , he got more upset the more he knew i kept looking at it, it wasnt until now how important he was in my life

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My Father and Older Brother are addicts

Daggertail19 Fapstronaut

1ANDDONE Fapstronaut

InnerMan Fapstronaut

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modern milarepa Fapstronaut

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Daggertail19 Fapstronaut

modern milarepa Fapstronaut

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