4/7. First weekend, too much free time and a idling mind... Masturbation crossed my mind a few times, but I have managed to simply acknowledge the thoughts and move on.
Made it 5 days out of 7. Did not have to get out of bed the usual time since it's not a work day. Was waking slowly, my brain searching anything that would provide an erection. NOTHING found. Then suddenly full awake after dreaming my SISTER surprised me with a squirt gun as I was leaving for work ! Boner kill. No triggers or temptations today. Attended my first group meeting. I was text only but did my best to participate. Very small group of about 6. REALLY thinking I'm PIED and flatline. When I told that to the group they said that can be a VERY good thing. HAH. I MUST keep in mind that a real social experience triggered my porn use escalation. I may not know what will trigger me.
Today will be 6 days if I can make it to the end of the day. Sunday mornings seem particularly tricky for me and this is the most likely day I would relapse. Instead of porn, I went on a nice bicycle ride.
5/7 shittiest feeling day so far, not knowing what to do with my free time. The somewhat crappy weather outside didn’t help either. So, the idea of masturbation came through my mind multiple times. But still, managed to keep my eyes and hands off of anything sex related.
On day 3 lets go. at 10 am tomorrow ill be on day 4. Today was super hard, I stuck my dick in something and thrusted a couple times, I didn't exactly edge but it felt good and im ashamed. But I stopped and realized what I was doing before it went any further. third day is always the hardest, but I survived
