Day 25 completed, reached Amon Sûl. Best keep an eye out for those pesky Ringwraiths, they tried to tempt me with some unwanted gay thoughts last night but I resisted
Day 151 no PMO. Good day overall. Spent most of the day preparing for and going to the lake. No urges at all.
I let my guard down. I was on such good run, but I have unfortunately relapsed today and yesterday. I should have seen it coming too. I was watching something on TV that had a high chance of containing triggers. Started binging soon after. I keep relapsing after around a month. I really have to be more careful around this time. The first couple of weeks are easy, but then the real challenge begings for me. What I would like to mention is that I am proud of the fact that I am still going to the gym everyday. I started going to the gym around a month ago and have been really enjoying it. Question: When do you start your day counter after a relapse? Do you start it right after you relapsed or the day after? Not that it matters too much, but I am just interested. I usually start the counter the first morning after a relapse, so I can start the new streak with a clean day.
Welcome brother . but if you´re on day 13 (now 14), then you´re a Uruk-Hai, not a Nazgûl . You´re almost in Hobbiton, keep going!!
i think you should set the counter after the moment you slip. so you slipped at 19:05, then set the counter to 19:06, or around that period. that would be true and accurate. if you wait until a new day comes to start the counter, then you increase the chances of a binge, since: "this day is lost so i might as well carry on with pmo´ing". recovery always happens NOW, not tomorrow
3 days done my brothers and sisters and hard withdrawal has started, besides feeling tired and demotivated, i also feel grumpy and cold as a brick this morning i started slacking my duties at work, and sensed this desire to escape throught pmo. then i watched this video, reminding me that i should engage in my responsabilities even when feeling down, and it´s absolutely right. that helped me gain momentum again, and carry on with my tasks. so no procrastination and no slack so far. it´s tough, i still don´t feel good, but at least i´m feeling fullfilled. Have a great day brave Fellowship . Checking out.
That's very true. I have done both; starting the counter after a relapse and resetting the counter the next morning, but usually the next morning. I completely agree with your reply and I am now going to reset it immediately. Much love.
Ah, man. I've been there. I'll share what's helped me through these times in hopes it will help you. I have a book I'm writing and I try to write 30 minutes a day. When I feel very overwhelmed I set a timer for 30 minutes and I allow myself to be absorbed in this world I'm trying to create. For 30 minutes I escape from my responsibilities by doing something I love, and though in one way it is an escape from other duties, it is still a responsibility I have for myself. To take care of myself in a meaningful way and to work on this book I promised myself I would finish. At the end of 30 minutes, I always feel slightly better and more motivated to do my other responsibilities. I feel like I can do them. So, said clearly, if you can find something that you've always wanted to do but haven't that isn't wholly an escapist mechanism but still works on developing you as the person you want to be, you might find great benefit to it. Also, practically speaking. Negotiate with yourself, and have honesty too. Create your list of things you have to do, then tell yourself if you just get one of those things done, it was a productive day. Because it was. Let the challenge be how many things you can get done in a day, not how many days you got everything done. You got this man, I believe in you. Cheers,
Yesterday, I was on the brink. I was looking at an episode that was marked mature, which meant that it had something I shouldn't see on it. I wanted to watch it so bad. The subtle lie of "you can watch it and be fine" came through my head. But like an alcoholic not able to drink alcohol again, I saw the lie for what it was and I realized I might never be able to watch that show. The temptation to PMO would be too great. I went to sleep instead. It felt like a turning point. I hope I remember it. This is day 3.
@Revanthegrey I took that "not today" picture and saved it as my desktop photo. Thanks for sharing it. Where is it from though? Who's the guy with the sword? Thanks!
Brothers, I've relapsed... Yesterday I went for the first meeting with my psychologis in years. Told him about my situation in trying to get rid of this addiction and he agreed to help me. He's also a christian and I explicity said to him that he could use both spiritual and psychological knowledge in the treatment. In the middle of the conversation he said to me that, if I see that I was going to inevitably fail, its better only to M, cuz watching P is far worse for our recory. I agreed to it, as he had explained to me how P is stronger in creating addictive neural pathways than only M. I clearly understood that this didn't mean that it's ok to masturbate in my case, but in case of relapsing, it's better than binging. But, I made myself as a dead deaf frog and completely (and intentionaly) misunderstood his words. And I know I did it on purpose. I'm so ashamed for this, I cannot believe that I lied to myself, I chose to do it!! And it wasn't even enjoyable, I did it with the same passion that one spreads butter on toast, it was definitly not worth it. Now I can already feel the chaser effect and will have to get along with it for some days. I'm really disappointed with myself, but already reset the counter and will start over.
You are welcome! , it is from Game of Thrones series has many sexual scenes sadly . She is Arya Stark .