I just wanted to check in at 50 days and say to any of the group who haven’t gone so long yet, I hope I can encourage you to try to make it this far, and further. It hasn’t been easy but the benefits have gone beyond what I had hoped, starting about day 30-40. What I hadn’t realised was that as well as getting control of this part of your life, it also helps you get a handle on other aspects where self control is of value, like anger and anxiety. I think all these things are somehow linked and if you can get control of one it makes it a lot easier to exert self discipline in the others as well. It’s all about being able to say no to yourself really, which is easier said than done, but definitely gets easier with practice. As a result of this, I’ve felt happier and have hugely more self respect the last 50 days than I’ve had in years. I know everyone is different, but this has been my experience, and I hope it will be yours too. All good wishes to you all in your efforts, they will be worth it!
Ah man. Failure after 13 days. Learned another lesson. Will internalize it and remember it for future reference. Has been going a little better each time recently. 3 days, 6 days, 7 days, 13 days. Hope to do better again next time.
Thursday checkin - feeling much calmer now I'm 2 weeks in. Even had some intimate time with my SO this morning, so even more determined now to continue down this path. Hope everyone else is having a good week, stay strong and keep busy!
Checking in. Lots of failures over the past week, but I feel like the fever has finally broken. Yesterday was an incredible day, fully focused and present, and today feels great as well. I'm doing my best to go full dopamine detox, outside of what I have to do for my work. No web browser on my phone, computer stays off unless I'm working. Held my breath for 3.5 minutes this morning. Cold showers. Playing lots of guitar, exercising and socializing. Remembering who my best self is and acting from his intentions. It feels so incredibly good to finally be present in my body again, to have a peaceful mind, after two weeks of feeling insane and out of control. Now it's up to me to continue making the decisions that support that mindset, rather than sabotage it. I am very, very far from being out of the woods here, but at least I can see the meadow in the distance and remember which way to walk.
Good to hear from you jaberwaki, and glad you’re back on form! You’re so right, there’s times it takes a lot of effort and stamina to keep the goal in sight. Stay strong!
Checking in. Some stress here and there but it's under control. Benefits really starting to appear at this point. Motivates me to keep on fighting and that my efforts were all well worth it. Stay strong and be well, gentlemen.
I'm still at zero, getting started again is difficult. But I have a weeks holiday with the family coming up, the combination of de-stressing and no opportunity to PMO will be good for me. I'll check in again on the other side.
Bad news/good news situation here: Reset today at five days, but I checked my journal and did a little math and found that last month, in aggregate, has been my most PMO-free month since I started tracking in October of last year. I'm taking this as a sign that I am, slowly, (slowly) getting better. And hey, every day that I don't flood my poor brain with dopamine is a day I'm crawling back toward health and sanity. On the dopamine front, and regarding the "dopamine detox" Jaberwacki mentioned above: how do you guys deal with screens and internet usage in sobriety? I don't want to go full Luddite, but I'm open to anything that will make me healthier.
Checking in. I am starting today. It feels very hard to do, but I am confident in myself. I can overcome this. I know I can. Best, Ariodante
Checking in. Solid day today, and I've stayed fully present in my mind. Playing lots of guitar these past few days which has been a wonderful outlet, and a reason to push through this first week. Be well everyone!