Day 84... for the second time in two days i dreamt of people of my past. this is freaking me out ! three dreams yesterday. one today. in the last i made, i kissed a girl of my past that i could not go out with... it is a dream so it does not count as a kiss.
Day 85, tidying the place i live in. i want it to be clean before i go to sleep. the problem with a clean room, is that it no longer hides the problems that exist when there is nothing material of the material world left to clean up... the Force will reveal what makes the balance unbalanced.
Had a setback today, migraines always get me. Still haven't figured our to manage that all the time. Funny how I can manage things like that for over a month and one slip up and I'm back to zero. Can't quit, tomorrow is another day.
fellow members of the Temple. somehow Palpatine returned i failed last night. i went to bed quite late and fell asllep. then next thing i know i wake up in the middle of the night masturbating (no porn), and give in "until i am done" (for lack of something better and implicit). it felt pretty real, i don't think it was a dream, but i don't understand how i found myself masturbating. i think i should have more discipline in my physical training. it would probably have prevented that, and let me sleep better. i wish there was some joker as i wanted to reach 100+ days by the end of 2020. actually i have not watched porn since late August (streak since august 27). i am not angry at myself. i am frustrated though, it's not fun at all. it is as if i had decided that i will masturbate because i remember having made the conscious decision, but at the same time it feels as if it is my body autonomously decided that i will touch myself. as a proof of my loyalty i will play the game, and i will reset my counter. back to Youngling DAY 0