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My Top Tips for leaving PMO behind

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by NoBrainer, Apr 7, 2015.

Page 3 of 6
  1. Jul 19, 2015 #41
    Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    Wasn't
    sarcasm ?

    Sorry I might have not properly translated the sentence in my head :s
     
    Esteban, Jul 19, 2015
    Esteban, Jul 19, 2015
    #41
  2. Jul 19, 2015 #42
    Temujin

    Temujin Guest

    I do get your point Esteban. I agree with you.

    The way I approach life is thinking about looking back on my deathbed.

    So because of this even though my dream might be to be an astronaut, I know that its difficult or could never happen ect.

    So instead the goal is not to be an astronaut, but to have a life I can look back on with pride from my deathbed. To have this kind of life I don't think it is even necessarily about achieving great things, or achieving your dreams. But knowing that you gave them your best shot. That you tried even though the odds are insane. Or even that you never let anyone walk over you. Or that you put your love of your family first.

    There are many things you can be proud about on your deathbed. Just make sure that you will be looking back with pride.
     
    Temujin, Jul 19, 2015
    Temujin, Jul 19, 2015
    #42
    NoBrainer likes this.
  3. Jul 19, 2015 #43
    NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    No, it wasn't sarcasm. I agree with you that not everyone is equal. If you wanted to be an astronaut, yet you were in a wheelchair, becoming an astronaut would not be an achievable goal. Therefore, if you want to achieve what you set out to do, your goal must be achievable. A traditional approach to goal setting is the SMART approach, which stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely.

    As @Temujin said, the honourable outcome is not necessarily achieving your goal (imo), but having tried your hardest. Having given it your best shot. That you tried in the first place. Linking back to the Eric Thomas video, one can not be expected to achieve anything by being lazy, or by not putting in the necessary work for a specific goal.

    And with respect to nofap, it is not sustainable to think you can overcome a PMO addiction by simply abstaining, because simply abstaining will not shift your mindset away from relapsing. That is part of the reason that this post was created. By the way, I'm not addressing anyone specifically here, but it is a common misconception to think that simple abstinence will do the job to fix the addiction.
     
    NoBrainer, Jul 19, 2015
    NoBrainer, Jul 19, 2015
    #43
    Drift likes this.
  4. Jul 20, 2015 #44
    Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    Actually I think life is not about achieving your dreams but help people be happy. I think I'll die happily if in my life I help as much people as I can.
     
    Esteban, Jul 20, 2015
    Esteban, Jul 20, 2015
    #44
    NoBrainer likes this.
  5. Jul 20, 2015 #45
    NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Nice on mate. We need more people like you. :) Although wouldn't your dreams be to help others (make measurable differences to the quality of people's lives) then? Haha. ;)
     
    NoBrainer, Jul 20, 2015
    NoBrainer, Jul 20, 2015
    #45
    Kurapika 2 likes this.
  6. Jul 20, 2015 #46
    Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    I feel like it's more of a duty than a dream.
    My dreams are selfish : a special car, a bike, a special house, etc.. It all seems so futile..
    Why not help other instead ?
     
    Esteban, Jul 20, 2015
    Esteban, Jul 20, 2015
    #46
  7. Jul 22, 2015 #47
    NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Hmm, that's interesting. Yes, helping others is an honourable undertaking and would give you great appreciation of life. May I ask what your motivations for helping others are? Kind regards. :)
     
    NoBrainer, Jul 22, 2015
    NoBrainer, Jul 22, 2015
    #47
  8. Jul 23, 2015 #48
    adam1992

    adam1992 Fapstronaut

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    Thank u I do %90 of what u advised day 15 and counting
     
    adam1992, Jul 23, 2015
    adam1992, Jul 23, 2015
    #48
    NoBrainer likes this.
  9. Jul 23, 2015 #49
    Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    We are going to die real soon. There is no point in accumulating belongings and owning objects that at the end have no value whatsoever.
    Wealth is poorly distributed. The poor are in need and I don't think just giving them a box when you see one is enough. We should help them get out of the streets.
    Truly, it pains me to see poor people. When I see one I'm like, I could have give him something to eat instead of buying those <insert random useless thing you bought>

    Besides, I'm not happy in my life and in this society. I really want to live it and live more like an ascetic. There is a possibility that I will earn more than I need in a near future so I must think about how to use this money wisely to help others.
     
    Esteban, Jul 23, 2015
    Esteban, Jul 23, 2015
    #49
    DannyCool, Kurapika 2, NoBrainer and 1 other person like this.
  10. Jul 25, 2015 #50
    JonnyK

    JonnyK Fapstronaut

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    Scuse me, how do you get the tickmarks on the PMO tracker?
     
    JonnyK, Jul 25, 2015
    JonnyK, Jul 25, 2015
    #50
  11. Jul 26, 2015 #51
    agoodfuture

    agoodfuture Fapstronaut

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    NoBrainer, your posting is so well written, well thought out advice in good formatting, I'm surprised it hasn't been made sticky. I think it deserves it, for everyones benefit.
     
    agoodfuture, Jul 26, 2015
    agoodfuture, Jul 26, 2015
    #51
    NoBrainer likes this.
  12. Jul 27, 2015 #52
    NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Thank you agoodfuture! :) Stickying the thread would be nice ;), but unfair to others posting on the forum.
     
    NoBrainer, Jul 27, 2015
    NoBrainer, Jul 27, 2015
    #52
  13. Jul 27, 2015 #53
    rookie86

    rookie86 New Fapstronaut

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    Awesome advice. I am a little confused though. So can you ever masturbate again even if you do it without porn? My family members are recovering sex addicts and they still masturbate and have sex from time to time, but never watch porn.
     
    rookie86, Jul 27, 2015
    rookie86, Jul 27, 2015
    #53
  14. Aug 4, 2015 #54
    james008

    james008 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice
     
    james008, Aug 4, 2015
    james008, Aug 4, 2015
    #54
  15. Aug 9, 2015 #55
    raemuslupin

    raemuslupin New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks!
    That will surely help me.
     
    raemuslupin, Aug 9, 2015
    raemuslupin, Aug 9, 2015
    #55
  16. Aug 21, 2015 #56
    SerpentEagleHeart

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    Bump!
     
    SerpentEagleHeart, Aug 21, 2015
    SerpentEagleHeart, Aug 21, 2015
    #56
    NoBrainer likes this.
  17. Aug 27, 2015 #57
    SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, these are really good advices. I know from my experience that they work. Beyond others, know what you want, have clear plans, and write down everything.
    BTW, socializing is totally important. I think, many PMOers have lost contact to the real world becaude we are avoiding certain kind of uneasy social contacts. But we need to train that.

    The way out of PMO and towards a meaningful life is a process. Like learning a new language or playing an instrument. You begin somewhere. You make progress, you make errors, sometimes it is hard ... but overall, you make progress, if you just neve give up and keep on exercising.
     
    SnowWhite, Aug 27, 2015
    SnowWhite, Aug 27, 2015
    #57
  18. Aug 27, 2015 #58
    programer

    programer Fapstronaut

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    thanx
     
    programer, Aug 27, 2015
    programer, Aug 27, 2015
    #58
  19. Aug 27, 2015 #59
    StarKing

    StarKing Guest

    Everyone should read this, it is the best .
    CK
     
    StarKing, Aug 27, 2015
    StarKing, Aug 27, 2015
    #59
    NoBrainer likes this.
  20. Sep 6, 2015 #60
    check_sid

    check_sid Fapstronaut

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    Excellent post dude. Very realistic advice
     
    check_sid, Sep 6, 2015
    check_sid, Sep 6, 2015
    #60
    NoBrainer likes this.
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