The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Thanks brother, I went to a self-made hell of lust, disorientation and stagnation and now I'm trying to get out of there. I learned that stagnation is hell but many of us don't see it as such whilst only feeling that something is not right.
...a little bit about hell:
'Hell is a thought region. Evil dwells there and works out its purposes. The forces used to hold mankind down in the darkness of ignorance are generated in hell ! It is not a place; it is a condition. The human race has created the condition. It has taken millions of years to reach its present state.
...
This hell is a hell of the illusions and is itself an illusion. I find this hard to credit. Those who enter it are led to believe that the only realities are the sense passions and the beliefs of the human “I.” This hell consists in believing the unreal to be real. It consists in the lure of the senses without the possibility of gratifying them.
...
Hell, apparently, or that part of it we are speaking about, depends for its existence on human thoughts and feelings. The race will never rise to greatness until the passions are controlled. This refers to nations and to individuals.
....
Set to work at once. There is no time to lose. Gain control of self. Then retain control by emptying yourself of self. All the thoughts of lust and passion, greed, hatred, envy, and, above all, selfishness, passing through the minds of men and women, generate the “ condition ” called hell.' TD

 

Day 1 - Orc

It was a good day yesterday. I made a lot of progress with my work projects. It feels good to be out of the house and at work, doing my normal routine. Got a bunch of games I ordered on sale for Black Friday! Not much else to say. I wanted to MO last night, but not because I was actually aroused. I think the relapse this past weekend has renewed the old habit pathways in my brain, and so it feels instinctual to just reach down when I’m in bed. Will work on undoing that. It seems like a lot of us are struggling, I hope and pray that today is better for y’all. Peace and love, brothers.

 

I failed , but gonna try again.

 

579 days semen retention

 

Day 57
I almost relapsed today. My urges were uncontrollable at some point of the day, and it was because I had a wet dream for the second time in a week. Is having wet dreams frequently a thing to worry about ? Anyway, I was ready for pmo, I was like "I've reached 57 days, one relapse won't hurt anything!" but after saying that to myself, I immideately controlled myself and I started to inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 8 seconds. It worked. From that moment, I was calm and self-aware. In a nutshell, I was way too close to relapse, but everything is under control.

 

Day 14 - two weeks down, tomorrow I will be a Hobbit!

I have not posted since Saturday, but I am still doing great. My mental health is really good, and I have had minimal urges. When I do get urges, I immediately stop what I am doing and step away (either physically, or if I am on my phone, I put it down). Sunday night, I was on Amazon Prime Video looking at films, and I had the urge to scroll through a movie I know had nudity, but instead, I moved to the romantic comedy section, to pick movies I might be interested. I watched one of those romantic comedies last night, and though I did not realize it what I decided to watch it, there was quite a bit of topless nudity. However, I lifted my gaze to the characters faces, so as not to oogle and I enjoyed the film for its story. I figure it would be a reset had I done on Sunday what I considered doing and scroll through a film to find the nude scenes, but if I watch a film with nude scenes, and do not pause, rewatch, touch myself, or oogle, then though it can be triggering, it is not a reset, as I am invested in the story and not the nudity. With that said, I saw no point for the nudity as the story would have remained the same without it, alas, once the film was finished, I finished my homework, and went to bed.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Day 117

I'm taking cold showers for the first time. I'll tell you how it went lol.

 

Day 19, Now I feel like I'm back on track !

 

Checking in friends - day 9
Reading all your posts is really really helpful - thank you
Situation here at home is a bit emotionally charged - I am trying to keep my head down and not get drawn into arguments but as this is the second week my emotions are not that stable. So this now is the time to stay with the pain and do not react to it with numbing or rushing or anger. This is the time for action.

 

My 2 cents would be to checkout commonsense.org before you watch anything, at least til the detox is over (90 days), you'll be surprised how many movies have zero sexual content. Scrolling past scenes etc... can help, but better to not even be tempted in the first place

 

The fact that you survived that urge proves you can survive any urge

 

Checking in day 55. I finally beat my previous streak of 53, after 4 years .

 

Good reference. I think really I mostly just want freedom and respect. I really don't want to waste my life working for other people, making them richer. Some kind of online business is going to be in my future for sure.

 

I'll keep moving forward. If I can do better maybe I can inspire some others to also.

 

I've seen this quote before. I have no idea how to put this into practice.

 

Indeed, hell is quite the place! but a necessary place to go through in our current condition to be able to map the way out, and most importantly, the way "up".