Encouraging femdom fetish?

Why do I like the idea of a dominatrix being nice and encouraging to you, kind of like a "sexual mommy"?

I absolutely hate the humiliating femdom stuff, but I like the idea of an attractive woman telling you to do this and that, and encouraging you to do it and appreciating it.

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Like: encouraging me to cross dress and "how cute I'd look like", encouraging to stick a dildo into my anus, encouraging to worship her feet or pussy or ass or whatever, or that she will take "care of me" aka hand job,...

I want to know what psychological issues are the reason for me liking that stuff? I don't know if it is from P, because tbh I've never ever found a single encouraging femdom P video ever, all femdom videos are humiliation videos calling the viewer or the guy a loser

But I like the idea of "my sexuality being taken care of", I remember fantasizing before I discovered P...

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that I go to a sex therapist who encourages me to worship her nylon soles

So it's kind of natural. I also imagined before discovering P...

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how itd be to have an older sister, like if I was 11 back then (yes, I was having these kind of fantasies when I was 11 years old ) , then she'd be 18 or so, who forces me to worship her and her friends nylon soles, but not in a mean way but in a happy way like "I've got a nice surprise for you"

 

I mean, actually, it's something I want in life, as it's a natural fetish for me

What kind of mommy issues do you have if I may ask?

Because it's interesting that you bring it up. I've got some mommy issues too, because my mom was depressed all her life and my dad had to take up the "empathetic mom role", whilst my mom was laying on the couch or being angry at me for no good reason. I mean, I love her as I understand why she is depressed and has these mental issues (won't go into details here).

But why do I have to connect my need for a loving mom with something sexual?

 

It’s most common stuff. Most men are like that, attractive women taken care of fantasy. Its more related to p. So when u will reboot and recover completely u shouldn’t have thoughts like that. If u have than u are not recovered. This is also related to m. There is no relation to your mother also. Those who have angry mother like femdom videos commonly.

 

Strange, because I don't like humiliating femdom just because (!) of my angry mom

You say it's related to P. But I was having these fantasies before I started watching P, like when I was 11 years old I already had such kind of fantasies

 

It's because of puberty. Its also normal for boys on this period. If u didn’t started watching porn, those Thoughts would been normal. But p changes brain.After rebooting ur brain will forget everything. It will learn new behavior. Those thoughts are wiped away.
About angry mother, most like submissive porn, but few also hate this stuff. Because there mind didn’t take it. This how psychology works. It's not perfect for all people.

 

I absolutely hate humiliating femdom. I will never understand people who fap to P where a dominatrix is calling you a loser. I'll never see the appeal here

I should've mentioned it, but I started watching P at 16 years old. From 10 - 16 I only MOed, sometimes I watched YouTube videos of women showing off their nylon soles but this was really just once every two months, for example when I was sick, had to stay home and was alone for some couple of hours.

And during that pornfree time from 10 - 16, this "sexual mommy" fantasies where quite present. So it is something natural for me. And yes, I was even cross dressing before I started to watch P, I even accidentally ripped my mom's pantyhose because I was already too big

I'm just interested why do I apparently naturally have all these kinds of fantasies. Why can't I simply like vanilla stuff?

 

You will need many more time to recover from this. Continue quiting pmo, and watch your thoughts. What comes on mind is not always true. When you make peace with them, they will go away. How hard and often you do pmo is a good indicator for how deeply you addicted. Severe addiction may need psychotherapist or medicine. Also take long time time to recover. Slow down and observe thoughts. Try to forget them by involving in other activities. Sleep well.

 

I always had the impression that in the BDSM community, the subs are basically treated like animals and subhumans, i was and am like who the fuck wants to be treated like shit 24/7?

What I mean by "sexual mommy" is simply a woman (my age or older a little bit) which could "push me to my boundaries" in the areas I want to explore my own sexuality. And even if I couldn't there'd be no bad words, only positivity and encouraging. You know what I mean?

 

Yeah, but I'm ashamed of even having a sexuality. I feel like a stupid animal for having a sexuality. I can't wait to become 90 years old and have virtually zero libido

 

Nah, I will never understand how someone wants to be treated like shit 24/7.

Also: Where is the beauty in sexuality if a grown big guy wears pantyhose and cross dresses? Where is the beauty in sexuality if someone destroys his rectum by a too big dildo?

That's not beauty for me. And I hate the fact that my primitive brain likes it nevertheless

 

I don't agree with you. Period. I am disgusted by my sexuality, and I will always be unwilling to admit to even having a sexuality, ever. I understand your points, but I can't accept them. It feels wrong for me to accept them.

2022 will be the year I'm gonna eradicate my sexuality. I don't need that shit, it only makes me feel shame.

Even if I'd have a partner who likes that, just as you said, I'd still feel ashamed, as in the back of my head, I'd always think that "That's fucking stupid what I'm doing in front of my SO"

Let's just say that I can't imagine the Marlboro Man to wear pantyhose and peg himself. I'd rather have a smoke with him instead of talking about our favorite pantyhose brand

So... Maybe for someone else here, what you've written will be useful. But not for me. Sexuality in my eyes is filthy, disgusting and shameful. Even normal vanilla one.

I simply can't accept the fact that we sometimes are horny stupid animals who do strange things in bed.

You see? I'd never admit to my parents about my PMO problems, even if I'd be becoming a father someday I'd have trouble saying that to my parents because this means that I was having sex

Gross. Just gross. I always hated sexuality. I didn't even want to attend sex ed when I was a kid. But at the same time, I was wearing my mom's pantyhose when I was home alone

 

You kinda sound like i should PMO in order not to repress my sexuality. That's the vibes I'm getting

Or what am I supposed to do? I can't just find a SO and live it out. I mean, I don't even want a relationship in the first place, I love being single.

I'm just confused because I don't know what you expect me to do. If I should not be ashamed of my sexuality, why not give up NoFap and PMO 12 times a day because it's so natural?

I don't understand anything right now

 

This helps more, thanks.

I'm just ashamed of my fetishes because it's not something I expect others to see me in that way. It'd be awkward to tell your dad that you like cross dressing. Pretty embarrassing

But you know what:

I've got the SAME issue, when admitting that I like this and that woman, or that I'm in love (infatuation), or even that I like this and that song. It's so deeply personal for me to tell my family that I like this and that song. Or to even tell my friends that I like this and that friend.

This shaming issue goes beyond sexuality and fetishes. It's something I was always having. And I don't know why. It's like I'm ashamed of what I like.

 

But why do I feel like that? I always was ashamed of admitting that I like something (except food, films and video games). I always wanted to play the guitar for example but I was always ashamed to tell my parents that I want to.

I've ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT. And I don't know why.

 

One more question: WHY do I like the idea of a "sexual mommy" (encouraging positive dominatrix) and crossdressing?