Day 5 Still vulnerable. Anything outside can trigger me to negative internal state. I feel weakness in my legs. My stance isn't firm. Prev record: If I don't stay humble, I'm out of this game- one more time. Day 5 reporting, I can feel Testosterone surging. I'm starting to feel cocky once more, it isn't good. I know I'll be beset with ____ urges and I need to find a way to ground myself. Prev record: (No sexual Thoughts/Fantasy/ Voluntary Self Arousal/ Viewing any Triggering content) It was an eventful day. Full of stress, which is just another opportunity to practice further detachment from sentiments. Next Day: Lately, I've been drawing inspiration from a female Youtuber. She leads a clean and disciplined lifestyle. I kind of like her, but then again I am drawn to personalities, and I'm drawn to her self-discipline, keeping real, and emotional stability. I'll be there atleast until I reach about 25 days of sobriety, after which I generally become my own direction.
Jeah that are some true words - I will not employ with negative "what ifs" anymore - cuz they often lead to PMO .. I need more faith in me and that I can do this even without filters/blockers - its good to have but I shouldnt rely on them! Thx for your words brother!
Day 23 completed! No phishing. I was touching my wife too much lately and when I woke up deep in the night I had these sleepy fantasies about having rough sex with her and I couldn’t sleep. Then I realized that I’ve been considering her as my object of sexual gratification. Which is better then having the whole worlds women as your sexual objects, but still is bad for me and for the relationship. After this realization I was able to cool and fell asleep much easier. And now I want to be more respectful towards her, because my sexual desire shouldn’t be her burdain.
Day 5 Yesterday was very difficult for me, I was under a lot of stress to complete a sermon on time and now there are revisions that have to be made to it. Even though I never contemplated relapsing, I felt the urge very strongly. By the end of today everything should have calmed down and I can focus on rehearsing my sermon, please pray for me!
May you live up to the truth of the sermons you are preaching and walk your talk in truth and love. Amen
Feeling humble comes from awareness-realization of us being just a tiny parts of the wholeness of the world we live in. Where everyone matters for it's often enough for a few cells to start a canker which kills the body. It's our harmful thoughts, habits, attitudes and selfish behavior that turn us into that canker.
Every failure is my spur to pick up the thread. My schedule for today is full again. Gotta make up for the failure last night.
And I am going to add and expand on it : ...when we have blockers and are trying to check if they are working our mind starts dwelling not on blockers but on what we are trying to block from our attention. All the time we spend on trying to check if the blockers are working we spend thinking about P and getting into state of anticipation and excitement to experience it again, it's a subtle way of fishing which eventually sets us on fire and into the mindless action which we later regret for there is only a tiny bit of time when we can realize what it is , what we are doing and say no...just a few seconds to become aware and say no right after that or fall into mesmerizing pit of lust only to leave there our dignity, self-respect, health, dreams and passion for life.
Just say no to lust whenever you recognize-feel it, right on the spot, every time and you never fall again and your life will start renew itself, body will get recovered and strengthened and you will feel passion for life fully again, like we used to feel when we were children and everything was mysterious and new to us.
Day 318 no PMO. Yesterday wasn’t a great day for me. It rained all day so I never really got out of the house. No exercise. I did not have any urges for PMO but my day overall wasn’t great. Today I pack my bags and Tomorrow I’m off on an adventure with my buddies to the College Football National Championship. Should be a great trip.
Day 14 Getting back to my routine, and also planning what I want to achieve this year. Feeling fine, but a little sloppy, since I didn't have a good night of sleep. Changed my icon to Forest Gump cuz his simplicity and innocence are quite a thing. He's not a guy who sees women as objects of his pleasure. I know that getting inspiration from a dumb and childish guy may sound weird, since what everyone seeks is actually strenght, power, glory and reputation. But Jesus said that unless we be like a child, we won't heir the Kingdom of Heaven. So there it is... the most childish man I know, who was able to love, but also to fight for what is right!
You will be shocked how your brain can shift your reality into thinking nofap is not Even worth it. Tread very carefully and trust the process. I learned this the hard way…
Day 4! Really sick! (covid 19 positive) but for sure with medicine I will be better. Keeping strongh!
Checking in day 14! 2 weeks baby At the moment just cruising through with no urges... It was exactly like this my last streak and then it arrived around day 19-20. I'm prepared this time !!! Still in quarantine