Checking in on day 102: “For behold! the storm comes, and now all friends should gather together, lest each singly be destroyed.” – Gandalf
0 days >> Nazgûl (You were once a man, a King, now fallen to the power of PMO) MO relapse. I won't be careless about P subs, this time. I deleted my Instagram account that I used to follow old crushes.
Day 106 In a weird place in my life at the moment, on track to assume a role in two years that I currently feel no way prepared for, and I suppose I somewhat feel like a ship without a rudder. Watched a pretty gratuitous episode of Bridgerton - I was aroused but had no impulse to relapse. All the same, I shall be careful to avoid such obvious triggers in the future. I trust that time will tell, and that soon enough I’ll be out of this hump and in some new struggle. This too shall pass, the low moments as well as the good moments.
Day 5 today. Urges are becoming little strong now. Staying home alone in these days is a challenge. Bit of a lapse in concentration can result is relapse. I have observed from my experience that day 5-10 are the most challenging. If you are able to cross this, then going for 25-30 days is not that hard. Then at day 30 comes the second hurdle. Your mind thinks that you have gone for 30 days straight and a sence of accomplishment comes. There is the risk of relapse. As of now I need to successfully complete the first phase, then will plan for the second one.
Day 38 Just got out of a webinar about purpose and finding your life purpose. Gives a lot to think about... I might book a session with the guy to talk more about this.
Thanks brother day 6 complete on day 5 (after the last update) I did look at some sexy girls. But on day 6 I had a meeting with the boys and we discussed about it. I realise, that it’s not simply wanting to look at some sexy girls, but it’s a general readynes for adultering, I keep imagining scenarios where I am able to cheet my wife. I remember that when I was in the middle of the long streek, I had a strong NO for these thoughts. Now I have the NO again and a YES for better things like nurturing the relationship with my wife. It’s a mental fight to keep your attitude right and you have to take seriously what is going on inside your head.
Day 8 and Day 1 as an Uruk-Hai (I feel stronger and faster but I'm still a slave to the PMO ring. A desire arises to break free from it's chains.)
Happy Easter everyone! Jesus has risen and broken our bondage to PMO!!! Turn to him and experience freedom. Day 419 no PMO.