When I Am Going to be Healed

I've been living like a robot for a long time, Emotionless. Family members are dying and I been unable to feel nothing. No joy, no sadness, pain, pleasure all gone. This addiction is no joke. Quit as soon as possible......!!!!

 

Rough day today with symptoms. I was thinking about giving up but I pulled through...
I've been thinking about my longest streak which was 16mo in 2019. During it I was edging multiple times in my sleep. Sometimes I caught myself in the act and talked to myself and my hands. I slapped both my hands and said " what the heck is wrong with you?"
Sometimes in the morning waking up, I felt sluggish with foggy brain.

 

Woke up feeling insecure and worried. Feeling like I'm missing out in life with friends, women, experiences, careers or work....
There's no doubt in my mind pmo is the reason. I'm dealing with the consequences of years of fapping to p.

 

Unable to sleep, I found myself waking in the middle of the night after 3 to 4 hours of sleep. This insomnia is one of the main symptoms occurred to me on nofap journey.

 

Feel my chest is heavy like someone or something sitting on top of it. I been had it multiple times now. It comes and goes.

Anyone else can relate???

 

Woke up with cloudy head as if I have smoked a lot of pots. Also I'm approaching week 5 of nofap. Trying to make a nofap a lifestyle as well

 

I have HOCD

I used to think I was immune to it especially when I saw other people talking about it. Today mark 5 weeks since I mo but I glimpsed at p under 1 minute and started having throbbing in my brain.

 

Wake up this morning humping the bed from an almost sex dream. My subconscious didn't want it to be real. I've succumbed by 2 dreams like this already. And it took me 5 weeks of nofap to get one alike.

 

I'm 100% positive PMO is the primary cause.
I've noticed you've been on this site since 2014. That's the year I began my nofap lifestyle but discovered it late 2013.

 

Drank some coffee yesterday morning and felt fidgety the whole day. Also watched a lot movies that have sexual scenes.

Almost 6 weeks now

 

Long going cracking noises in my body after waking up. The joints, feet, lower back, hands are cracking loudly and can be heard.

 

Returned of headaches I thought were gone. I don't remember when I have had a whole journey without symptoms. I don't know when I will be symptoms free.

 

Each Thursday I feel the need to write something.
2 days away from hitting 7 weeks of nofap.

Although I still have some couple symptoms such as brain fog, headaches, body pain and stiffness, cracking noises in body, visual snow, Tinnitus, adrenal issues etc ... But I still gotta keep going.

 

I drank some coffee this morning. And it has had an effect on me. I'm shaking, restless, nervous, tense, tired.

 

Unable to sleep

 

Not a good day today. Belly look bloated. I feel exhausted and tired. Constipated, bed ridden, visual snow, after images effects, ongoing Tinnitus, feeling worthless, feeling like the world is ending soon, bunch of negative flashbacks and more ....