I hate myself for failing feeling suicidal pls read

To our brain porn is success, because the brain thinks it's mating with a lot of hot partners. To overcome porn addiction we must overcome the need for success and accept failures. That's what they say that setbacks are part of the progress.

 

I vaguely remember once this year I did like 25+ time in three days ( I know I m a freak). Those were some really dark days for me.I felt complete and utter despair. I m still here fighting cause I realised that those feeling of despair were temporary . One day you are happy and the next day you feel like dying. The lesson I learnt was that PMO was amplifying this feeling. I know I have not made it there yet but I’m becoming increasingly aware of my feeling and problems. I m dealing with it head on instead of escaping my problem through PMO.


So keep going , recognise what made you relapse and keep going. 60 days is a great milestone. Keep fighting!!

 

There is no big differences between people who are addicted from drugs and who are addicted from PMO. Drug addict when they go for detox they experience strong craving of drug , same with PMO addict when they reboot. When drug addict break detox, addiction take control on him same with PMO. And this mechanism experience million's of addict. I experienced same vicious cycle's and most of people on that forum as well, in that moment don't believe what your mind is telling you, he wanted go back to habit, your mind and your habit is not YOU, you are more than this, pray to whatever you believe and ask for help.
IT WILL PASS, ​

 

Piense que si ya lograstes una racha larga aunque recayó, pues sabes que puedes lograrlo y recuperar poco a poco semanas libre de Pmo; ánimo recupérate ... Dios da fuerzas... Lucha

 

Dont give just up now. Maybe you are or were really close controlling it. I had 30, 60 and one day almost 90 days and slipped again and again and had my fair share of suicidal thoughts. It seems easier that way to just end it all and finally be at peace bc you dont have to try anymore. But when you still have some kind of inner spark and you still see some silver lining at the horizon even when its really small keep going till you beat this. Always think about this: you are no failure no lowlife no freak or creep. The things you do aren't you. You are not what porn tells you, you are. You are what you want to be and nobody can take this decision from you.

 

Suicide prevention hotline- 1-800-273-8255

 

Congrats on 2 months! Go for 90 days!

 

60 days is amazing. When you relapse you shouldnt blame yourself for chaser effect. I had lower streaks and i feel my brain acting different. Once i start a new streak, i dont care anymore about porn for few 3 4 days until i remember i am on a streak and memories show up.
The goal is to get a better life where porn is too expensive to consume, what would be the currency? Its time, go volunteer somewhere during the freetime like weekends, come late home and it will fade away

 

I think the days which we don't watch porn, brain record that days are suffering days. I think porn became a part of the brain. So no porn is a bad dream for the brain.

Any suggestion more on this topic, anyone?

 

Yes bro it is true in my opinion.

 

That give me understanding, why I couldn't give up on the girls that rejecting me, I waisted so much energy and time, please them, do whatever I could to be with them, but it won't happening, in porn there isn't something like rejection, I just choose and I have most beautiful women's but in real life it won't work like this. Porn brainwashed me and unconsciously I want same result in
real life, and this result with disappointments, depression.

Thanks man for bringing this up

 

Porn give a quick o reward, press play and I get what I want, press thousands of times and there is every time reward Finally I started expect same result in real life that will be always easy reward, but we know that is not like this, then we choose porn instead of life.
Nice I get of understanding of this

 

Thank you

 

@Jacob28 60 days is a big achievement, don't belittle what you just accomplished, it was a huge thing!

Only the people who are fighting PMO addiction know how hard a relapse hits, and it's absolutely normal that your brain is trying to make up the time lost without PMOing.

It's happened to me, and to anyone making a conscious effort to break free from porn. It's like if the addiction came back stronger than ever.

But don't give up!

I know it's hard, I know how deep you can go, and that you just want to disappear and die.

Don't!

Try to grow from this dark episode in your journey. Be a friend to yourself, and a leader.

Challenge those beliefs about yourself:

What took you to relapse?
Where did you fall short of willpower?
Is there any clear cause that took you there?

Don't just think that a lost battle is the end of the war.

Stand up, and keep going.

I've tried many different things to break free from porn, and I'm still not free from it.

Now, I've learned that one of my biggest mistakes has been treating myself in such a tough way, and getting away from recovery for several months because "I'm just never gonna make it".

So instead of telling yourself:

"You screwed up, you deserve to die", go for something more neutral and growth-based like... "60 days was improvement, but I failed at such and such... and next time I can do x to do better.

Keep going, and don't give up!